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Get mad or get even?

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Comments

  • Rev
    Rev Posts: 3,171 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Mojisola wrote: »
    Are there any mutual friends who would tell her?

    Probably. But do I really want to involve anyone else? Especially when I'm not sure I want to be involved myself.
    Sigless
  • TimBear
    TimBear Posts: 808 Forumite
    You'd both decided the relationship wasn't working so just walk away. I do understand what you're saying, and if I were the other woman I'd want to know too, but in your specific situation I'd say you're better off not getting involved.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Rev wrote: »
    She doesn't know about me. It's actually someone I used to be friends with. They're just setting up house together now. She's moved across country to be with him.
    Rev wrote: »
    Probably. But do I really want to involve anyone else? Especially when I'm not sure I want to be involved myself.

    That's something only you can decide but I couldn't leave her to carry on in ignorance, especially when she's making such major changes in her life to be with him.
  • Walk away. It's not your place to tell her, and in situations like that its often the messenger who looks like a jealous spiteful cow.
  • claire16c
    claire16c Posts: 7,074 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Mojisola wrote: »
    That's something only you can decide but I couldn't leave her to carry on in ignorance, especially when she's making such major changes in her life to be with him.

    I agree. If she doesnt know then shes effectively in an even worse position than you. Id tell her. Imagine if the next thing you hear is shes pregnant or something like that, and THEN she found out.
  • meritaten
    meritaten Posts: 24,158 Forumite
    In your position - I would tell her! not nice maybe, but, she does deserve to know and what she does with that knowledge is up to her!
  • TimBear
    TimBear Posts: 808 Forumite
    If you were just a concerned friend who had heard about his behaviour then absolutely tell her, but to her you're the 'other woman'. You'll either look spiteful and jealous or she just plain won't believe you.
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    meritaten wrote: »
    In your position - I would tell her! not nice maybe, but, she does deserve to know and what she does with that knowledge is up to her!

    It is nice, its a kind thing to do for someone who is being screwed over in exactly the same way the OP was!

    Please tell her, she's his victim too and deserves to know what he really is just as much you did.
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Revenge is a dish best eaten cold, and when it's stone cold it's usually very unappetising.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • phill99
    phill99 Posts: 9,093 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    My girlfriend found out about my fianc! a few years ago. It got really difficult when they both found out about my wife.
    Eat vegetables and fear no creditors, rather than eat duck and hide.
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