tonights the night

calleyw

I hope it all goes well.

If that was me I would hopping mad but the reason for that is you had not told me what had happened and you where struggling and that it was our wedding and not just yours.

With out wanting to be rude about a person I have never met he does not seem to be very supportive at the moment. I hope that you do get it sorted it.

You cried because of the relief. You have done nothing wrong and nothing to feel bad or ashamed for.

All the best and do let us know how you got on.

Take care.


Yours


Calley

Jolinar

hannahsmummy1 wrote: »

all together i borrowed just shourt of 9K- that was for EVERYTHING. I have paid off 2900 off that, leaving me just over 5K left to pay. Thanks for everyones kind words! xxx

Hi Hun, I just wanted to add some more hugs here.

I must admit my blood is boiling here and please don't get upset but have I got this right? He earns 57k and he let you borrow money for your wedding? That's just crazy. You work your butt off at two jobs, look after your children no doubt do most of the household stuff too? It sounds like he wanted a slave not a wife or someone to share his life at all. :mad:

Sorry if I sound blunt but by the gods he needs a slap and I can understand why everyone is telling you to leave. For me the discussion would be about why the marriage is not a partnership of equals rather than a tiny bit of debt.

Good luck with your discussion tonight *hugs*

Miss_Scarlett

Good luck tonight HM. But you do need to stand firm, explain the reasons, explain how your husband makes you feel. Tell him what he needs to do to make you happier.

Your husband should understand why you have the debt, he should also understand that you need money to buy things for your child, for food, for life. It's ok for him, he has total control over his money and no doubt pats himself on the back for being so great with it. However, the fact he has a wife who has been too afraid to tell him about the issues with the wedding finances should speak volumes about the sort of guy he is showing the world he is. I do hope he takes full responsibility tonight, things do need to change, it's a marriage not a business arrangement.

libra10

Wishing you the best for the future

debsy42

Good luck for tonight, sounds like you need all our best wishes.

Personally I think he's being a bit of a git with you and I've found with his type, if you give them an inch they'll take a mile. My friend is with a fella and when he started being controlling with her I tried to get her to realise but she couldn't see the wood for the trees. Now she finds him a nightmare, like telling her which coat to wear when we were going out :eek: Next time he's being nosey and trying to get your bank statments/payslips tell him to sod off. Don't be intimidated, don't be apologetic and let him beat you down tonight.

I'm sorry if this all sounds a bit manic but I get really upset when bullies take advantage of people. I wish you all the luck in the world and that you can be happy and stress free *big hug*

Bunnyinthelights

HM,
My DH WISHES I was £5k in debt, lol.
Add a zero to that and you can see where I was a year ago...

Good luck hunny,
Bunny x

no_control

Good luck for tonight, I hope it all goes well. I'll be thinking of you.

Let us know how it goes.

xx

smashedbooboo

Good luckfrom me as well hun. will check in tomorrow to see how you got on. Take care babes xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

mrsmortenharket

Hope everything went well when he came home

love Lisa x

hannahsmummy1

well.... it didnt go as bad as i had expected. He didnt rant and rave, he came home from work and dropped me to work- and said he didnt want to speak about it till today (saturday) i said i would rather talk about it that night- so we talked a little before i went to work, he didnt shout & neither did i- i did get upset but he told me not to cry- he said he doesnt care about the money i owe- how much it is but the fact that i have hidden it from him is whats hardest for him to understand- and i totally understand that. So, we still have a lot of talking to do, but at least we are on speaking terms and ww3 did not break out last night, although im still waiting for it today. I do feel like a weights been lifted and i had expected to sleep better last night but didnt really. He did tell me though that he had expected this- when i work 2 jobs and i have nothing to show for it (well im paying my debts-but nothing material to show for it) he just wondered where all my money was going if i wasnt spending it! So i dont think this came as a total surprise to him. He explained why he has so much in his current account, about it being some redundancy money and he has been looking to put it into a high interest savings account in case the same thing happens again and so we at least have something to fall back on- he also told me that he has 100 a week to live on and that includes money for petrol (which is going to increase come september as he has to commute further) but he couldnt answer me when i told him he hadnt given me a penny since november last year. Sorry this post has been too long for you all to read! But thats the situation as it stands now! Hopefully he still wont go off on one today, and we can talk about this and not shout!

Thanks for all your lovely replies & words of support- they really meant a lot to me at this time!

xxx