The continuing saga of my (comedic) love life!

Ladyhawk

well then jiu jitsu would be more suitable. Kick-boxing and judo are sport and jiu jitsu is an art - thereby is not competitive.

I loved my 8 years doing jitsu and met so many interesting people. After 3 years of having limited movement in my left shoulder it is getting better and I am hoping to get back on the mat... especially as I am about to move job to be in London 5 days a week.

onlyroz

Do what I did and pursue a male-dominated degree course followed by a male-dominated career. I'm plain looking but once I left school I never had trouble attracting male attention. I also have a slightly off-the-wall sense of humour, and am attracted more to geeks than to sports-buffs, which certainly helped.

Failing that, online dating does help. My similarly plain-looking brother met his now-wife through online dating when in his mid 30's.

miss_independent

onlyroz wrote: »

Do what I did and pursue a male-dominated degree course followed by a male-dominated career. I'm plain looking but once I left school I never had trouble attracting male attention. I also have a slightly off-the-wall sense of humour, and am attracted more to geeks than to sports-buffs, which certainly helped.

Failing that, online dating does help. My similarly plain-looking brother met his now-wife through online dating when in his mid 30's.

Yeah if I could go back 10 years, I've often said I'd do Engineering! That's what you get for following your passion though, I suppose. Career fulfilment, no man. You've been a wiser woman than me!


Honestly, though, I'm ok. If it happens it happens if it doesn't, oh well, at least I've had a fun and interesting (albeit not very romantic!) life.

And hey...ever stopped to think that you might be underselling yourself? You're not "plain", you're you and there is only one of you. That makes you rare. And rare is beautiful .

ValHaller

miss_independent wrote: »

Actually, in all honesty, I do feel like just giving up and not looking at all. I don't want to be the "desperate" girl.

This can be a successful strategy

System

I remember as a young teenager being pretty popular round boys but not really having many boyfriends.

From the time i got engaged (at the age of 16) boys just came out from nowhere.

There was Terry in the army who asked me to finish with my fiance because he wanted me.

There was Alan who was in the TA who tried to grope me in my wedding dress admitting undying affection for me (must have been the booze).

Then there was my dear friend who i grew up with. We werent cousins but our Mothers were the very best of friends and we grew up close. He was tall (like his Dad) dark, (like his Mum) and we got on really well. After i got married we held a bit of a belated housewarming party. He wrapped his arms round me and wouldnt let go all evening whispering sweet nothings in my ear (cant even say it was the booze as he didnt move off the chair all night). I found it embaressing, my husband found it funny. I was heavily pregnant at the time.

Why oh why did all these men suddenly become interested in me when they saw a ring on my finger? I'm not saying knowing would have altered my decisions but i'd have like to have known beforehand how they felt. Especially my 'cousin' it took me months to get over the shock.

miss_independent

Zekko wrote: »

Yes! I wish more women would take up engineering, then maybe I'd have more chance of meeting someone at work! >_<

It's a demanding job, I love it to bits, but I'm finding it difficult to get the right work-life balance at the moment. I will probably sound like a boring old fart saying this (I'm only 30!), but at the end of a working day I just want to get home, have something to eat and get ready for round 2! It may just be the winter blues,... terrible weather and no sun! I don't know....

All work, no play? I know what you mean though, if you love your work it's easy for it to become your life. But your job doesn't love you back.

Take a holiday in the sun!

miss_independent

Zekko wrote: »

Yeah, definitely. Perhaps it's time I started looking at the wider picture a bit more.

Yeah, I don't know about you but I've been working at my job for 10 years this year and I'm shocked at how fast that time has gone and, career aside, I'm not really were I intended to be. I don't want to blink and be 40 and in the same boat. You've got to know what it is you ultimately want from life then prioritise so you can make it happen. We are what we repeatedly do!

mountainofdebt

well if you fancy a younger man I an give you Junior's number as he sounds like your male equivalent.

He'll go totally OTT .....flowers, meals out that sort of thing and allows the b!tchest of girls to walk all over him.

He does come, unfortuantely, with me who promises to be the MIL from hell should you ever do the dirty on him lol!

miss_independent

Zekko wrote: »

I've been in my current job nearly 7 years, and yes, the time has gone so fast. I've been so busy working on my career that I failed to see I was neglecting the other parts of my life. The trouble is I think about this for a second I realise I'm not actually sure where I want to be in say 5, or 10 years time, so just end up concentrating on the career again,..it's an endless loop. I guess they answer is to just get out there and shake myself up, which is easier said than done!

Yeah...just got to break out of your comfort zone a bit. You don't need to make a drastic change just gradually introduce things you'd like to do for fun or throw something different in there now and again (take a different route to work, try a new food, start up a conversation with a stranger etc). I once set a timer for 20 minutes and took out a pen and paper and just wrote something I'd like to do or experience on every line without questioning it in my head. There was stuff I had no idea I wanted to do. It's good to get it out on paper and could help shake things up a bit. The Day Zero Project, where you make a list of 100 things you want to do in 1000 days is good that way too, plus it gives you a (realistic) time frame to achieve it in.

I also try to trust in timing. This time last year I really didn't have a clue what my next step would be (career wise) and I'm now considering something I never thought I would! Maybe you've still got stuff to learn before you can see the bigger picture.

Overall though, I don't know about you but I don't want to say on my death bed that I "existed", I want to have truly lived and had moments that took my breath away with amazement. And a lot of fun and laughter along the way! It all depends on how you define a life well-lived I suppose.

Anyway...sorry.... Maybe I've been a bit too philosophical tonight (especially for what started as a thread for me to laugh at myself). I'm off to catch up on my beauty sleep lol.

Good luck with figuring it all out! They didn't tell us being grown up would be this difficult did they? :rotfl:

VestanPance

miss_independent wrote: »

Yeah, I don't know about you but I've been working at my job for 10 years this year and I'm shocked at how fast that time has gone and, career aside, I'm not really were I intended to be. I don't want to blink and be 40 and in the same boat. You've got to know what it is you ultimately want from life then prioritise so you can make it happen. We are what we repeatedly do!

I hope you find someone soon who you find that special connection with. You always come across well on here and it does seem like you have rotten luck with us blokes.

Although now based on you being chatted up by such older men I'm imagining a 28 year old with a blue rinse!