frustrated!!

thehappybutterfly

Jinx wrote: »

I'm another who thinks you should let hubby do his own breakfast etc My hubby gets up at 5am for work every second weekend and if I am feeling especially nice I get up and make him a coffee n bacon sarnie before work. But the thing about that is its a treat - he doesnt expect it and its so much nicer.

And I bet you go back to bed afterwards?

Padstow

It took 120 posts to find what I was looking for, that you don't drive.

If your health is up to it, a part time job would make such a difference to your life, even cleaning for others a couple of times a week.
It would pay for some driving lessons, then you could do the shopping on your own without dragging OH and your child along. Meet a mate for coffee.
You could drive him to work occasionally to have use of the car all day.
You could also then afford an air purifier, have a look on Amazon. Reviewers say there is very little dust now they have one, so brilliant for asthma sufferers and cleaning time saved.

Not sure you'll ever get a lie in at weekend, as you sound the sort of person who couldn't relax wondering what's going on downstairs, bit like me!

CH27

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Somrle days are harder than others. If i had an asthma attack in the morning and my knee plays up, then it is a struggle. So some things can take longer to get done not coz I dont want to do it.

OH and i watch eastenders together on iplayer but i do pause it coz of the washing machine stops and needs putting it back on. We do food shopping together coz i dont trust him doing it (did give him a list before and he always came back with different things) and i dont drive. So we do it together.

Thanks for the ideas. Some things will be changed. I did have a breakthrough last night as he found the sink in the kitchen lol.

Treat him like a child & he will behave like a child.

mummyroysof3

glad to hear the advice you have had on here is helpful.

claire16c

Take driving lessons, and send him to the shops again and again until he gets it right. You cant let him off doing stuff like that because he messed up once.

Also you do not need to clean everything every day, if you think you have ocd why not see a doctor and see if they can refer you for cognitive behavioural therapy?

I dont know how old you are but there are solutions to your problems and the quicker you solve them, the less time you will have to spend on them for the rest of your life!

z.n

What sport does DH enjoy? If football or similar then send him and DS off to local club for sat morn training. There is a rugby group near me who start age 2-and there are loads of them. The bonus is that DH will find plenty of other Dads to chat to while they watch and DS gets dad to himself for a bit. Some men struggle with small children but can step up to the mark really well as kids get a bit older but they might need to see how other men interact with their kids-hence the club. Particularly if their own Dad was not around much.

Be 'too tired' or have a migraine. Let him work out that if he helps out more, you are less tired, happier, and so better disposed towards him. Even putting the bin out helps.

Let DH know you trust him with DS. Dads can be a bit chaotic in childcare but sometimes you have to let them get on with it and make them clear up the resulting mess.

Be willing to ask for help doing jobs. Most men (am I being sexist here?) are more than happy to use their extra height/strength to assist. If asking doesn't work then tell him what needs doing. Don't fight about it- just say x needs doing and walk away. With any luck he will get round to it soonish. As soon as it is done notice and appreciate. (works with teenage son for all sorts of small household jobs so might work here.)

Teach DH how the washing machine works so he can set it running again if you are busy elsewhere ( he might not want to admit he is baffled.)

If nothing changes there will come a point when DS will not help out and will begin to treat you with apparent disrespect too. DH is his role model and soon enough DS will begin to copy (age 6 plus). If DH thinks that is ok then you need to have a very serious discussion about the long term future of the relationship. However, it sounds more like you have fallen into a rut and just need to get out of it.

tesuhoha

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Thanks. Yes it is an african dish and few of his fav dish are time consuming (oxtail stew, kidney beans not the tinned ones, etc) so yeah, it is expected of me but i dont always follow (i do need a break lol). We are a mix of african, asian and american in this family so it is fun lol. Thanks again.

It might be an idea to buy a slow cooker then you can put the ingredients in and forget about it until he walks in and the meal will be ready.

Jinx

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

And I bet you go back to bed afterwards?

Yes absolutely.

I work mon - fri, he works shifts. 5am is just tooooo early to stay up on a sat/sun morning unless there is a very good reason

Brighton_belle

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Suffer from asthma, severe psoriasis, and psoriatic arthritis so it is not always easy.

Severe psoriasis and Ps arthritis are very crippling and exhausting conditions, you poor thing. 'Not always easy' is an understatement! These inflamatory autoimmune dieases will make every task a lot harder, both physically because of pain and beause you will get twice as tired as a healthy person doing them ans your heart is already working very very heard to cope with the excess over zealous production of cell growth. Are you having treatment for these by a consultant dermatologist/rhematolgist? I imagine the excessive skin loss will addto your house work and therefore your ocd tendancies.

sweetsheep84

Done theory test. Searching for a nice driving school. Not sure if i can drive if arthritis gets worse if honest. Will ask my GP when see him next.

Taking meds at the mo. Arthritis is mild but it does get painful. Have tried plenty of treatments. Nothing really works well for long and psoriasis tends to come back with vengence.

OH does take DS out to play football and basketball. He is pretty consistent on this. Cant fault him on this part.

OCD happened coz someone made allegations about me neglecting DS when he was younger including I do drugs (never done it in my life), place untidy (err not really) and no food in my house. Thought I must be doing something wrong so started cleaning more. Calmed down a bit by now though lol.

So yeah, it is tough sometimes