The Most Saddest Baby...

soolin

Kate , I just typed a huge post and MSE ate it..so I'll keep this brief. Post on here when you are feeling that it's all getting too much.

Just leaving baby to cry for a while isn't a bad thing, walk away and take a few minutes for yourself.

Little_Miss_Winner

Hita Kate, Bigs hugs - being a mummy is hard isn't it?

The only thing i can think of is has your baby gotten out of her routine.

At 9 months old she should be sleeping right through the night not waking up 3 times.... What do you do when she wakes up, and how do you get her back to sleep? Are you giving her a bottle when she wakes? If so, this is a mistake and this is why she is waking up all the time.

If she is crying all day, i am wondering if she is too tired?
If she is waking up 3 times during the night, then up for the day between 5.30-6 i think anyone would be knackered, and exhausted (including you)

Have you read the *Contended Little Baby Book* by Gina Ford? this was my bible with my 1st, and used it with all 3 babies.
You don't have to buy it just borrow it from the library, or look on ebay.

Hugs for now
xx

fsdss

i'm afraid to tell you that at around 9 months (and up to a couple of months either side) babies form a primary carer attachment and will become distressed when not in company with their primary carer, nor receiving full attention.

many studies of this have been conducted primarily from John Bowlby ~(who looked at child behaviour)

how they react to it differs from screaming for attention to short lived cry. what it mean is that you have formed an attachment well. and i would just ride the storm for a little while longer.


it happened to me with my LO, however those few months were difficult and i asked to go back to work earlier than take my year off as i couldn't bear it- however a couple of months later things started to improve and i actually felt more relaxed as time got on.

scooper

hi
you are not a bad mum,dont think that you are.
do you have help off anybody else?does the baby cry if someone else has her?not saying it is you,just that she may pick up your anxiety even though you dont know you are doing it,you may be waiting for her to cry when she isnt.
Also a wouldnt rule out anything medical either,take her the doctors or parent groups speaking to other mums helps,because everyone has a story,and getting out yourself would be good for both of you,you having a break while she plays and her playing with other children.
i honestly think they dont jsut cry for no reason,its there only way of communication even though its not nice to listen to for hours at a time.
hope you find some answers and things get better

let us all know how things get on
x

choccybikkie_2

Hi Kate,
It sounds like your baby is probably overtired. You say she's waking 3 times in the night, at 9 months she should be having longer blocks of sleep in order to achieve a 'deep sleep state' and she's waking early too.
My eldest dd was quite a poor sleeper and this affected her mood I didn't make the connection at first I just noticed what a happy relaxed baby she actually was once we were both getting more sleep!!!( does wonders);) .
I saw the hv who helped me organise a routine at bedtime and I decided to try the controlled crying routine,(can be tough and will make you feel evil for a couple of days!) But within a week she was sleeping through and napping in the day.--Needles to say both of our moods lifted and I found i was able to enjoy dd and cope with her upsets better.
At 9 months your dd shouldn't need milk when she wakes in the night so there's no need to wake,it sounds like she's waking out of habit and if you can break the habit you could solve the miserable moods!-Hope all my rambling helps:rolleyes:
Knowlesy

lotto-dreamer

What you probably need more than anything else right now is some good uninterrupted sleep! I remember thinking I would never know what it was to wake up naturally again - always being dragged out of sleep by "waaaahhhh" ....

Things always look worse when you are overtired. Try and see if you can get someone to help you out so you can catch up a bit.

I remember reading in one of my 'how to cope' baby books the sentence..."there are mothers the world over craving sleep...." and I burst into tears and sobbed my heart out. I could certainly identify with that.

You're a fine Mum with what sounds like a perfectly normal baby. Lots of us on here seem to have had the same sort of baby. Hang in there!

samsil

hi I just had to reply, I have 8mth old who was still waking at either 3am or 5am and we couldnt settle him back down at all, very clingy once woke and crying all the time. he (until very recently) cried every single time I put him down (change mat, car seat, pram etc etc). we got hold of a gina ford book last weekend, it suggested he is constantly overtired and at this age needs roughly 1 hours nap mid morning and 2 hrs nap after lunch. (he has always been a catnapper never much more than 25 mins)....it also says that the room they sleep in should be so dark that you could not see your hand moved infront of you. suggests that a baby can wake from a light sleep and a slight glimpse of toys/ stuff can be enough to rouse them to fully awoke. we had a blackout blind but still a small chink of light was getting through. so we have blacked out the window completely with other fabrics...........
he now (touch wood) sleeps 7pm - 6am. naps are 10-11am, 1.15-3pm (I enforce them by going out in the car or pram at those times its the only way otherwise its a battle to get him to calm down)......its a bit of a bummer I am a slave to his routine at the moment....but I feel like I have been given a new baby its heaven! he still cries and gets majorly cranky when he's overtired but at least i am able to tell now from his change in mood. I hope I do not regret speaking of this and have a 3am wake up now........ but I hope I have helped!

skyrocket

HUGS!
my son was like this and i took him to a cranial osteopath. after the first session there was a big improvement and after a few sessions things were as with most babies that age.
i would have tried anything!
you have my sympathies because i know what its like!
xx

taggiesgirl

HI,
I really feel for you i have a 8 month old girl, we have 2/3 months of hell. No other way to discribe it but hell.
Can I ask what milk is she on, we had to change my girls,she was crying all day everyday very unsettled and really unhappy a right grump.
We changed to cow and gate comfort which has reduced lactose in it.
and then we had a different baby:j

Could it be something like this? my advise having been there,is take a step back,look at or write down your day,start trying to change small things see if they make a difference. We brought a 'womb bear' as we thought she needed comfort,brought a monitor that has ticking(to resemble mums heart beat) thought that might reasure her during night,we changed her bottles/teats etc..
then changed her milk and 'bang' that was it,that was the reason for moody missy moo!.

Please dont be so hard on yourself, no one knows all the answers (although if your mil is like mine they think they do lol :rotfl: )


You are a great mum things will get better.

It is all a guessing game! were babies are concerned.

JULIE

hi, you're doing a wonderful job!!

if the little one is waking up in night..i would really make sure she's not hungry...if she isn't and it is a case of that she just wants you all day (totally agree with fsdss) then forget the "chores" and spend the time playing, talking,singing,reading and dancing with her...if she is sitting up get a hippy chick hip seat (worth their weight in gold) so its easier to boogie with her and takes the strain off arms etc whilst carrying....try and enjoy this time..playing etc may seem boring but just bear with it after all better than screamin littleun... but it may stimulate her even more and make her sleep better as she will be happy, contented and spending quality time with the most important person in her whole little life....YOU....(won't last forever)