The Most Saddest Baby...

Kit_Kat_Kate · 2 May 2007 at 7:30PM

My baby is the saddest baby in he world. She is 9months old, and cries all day. She wont sit on the floor, in her highchair, pram, carseat or walker... The only time she doesn't cry is when she is in the bath, if Im holding her or asleep!!! Its been like this for 3months. It's not getting any better. I feel so down and count down the hours till she is in bed! I hate this and don't know what to do?

AnnieH · 2 May 2007 at 7:32PM

Ask your health visitor for advice - there are lots of reasons why a baby cries all the time. Are you stressed out? If so a baby will pick up on it, and be restless. I know it's easier said than done, but try to relax - try some baby massage it will calm you both down.

My eldest cried for about 3 years LOL, I wish you all the best and please speak to your HV(((hugs)))

Kit_Kat_Kate · 2 May 2007 at 7:33PM

AnnieH wrote: »

Ask your health visitor for advice - there are lots of reasons why a baby cries all the time. Are you stressed out? If so a baby will pick up on it, and be restless. I know it's easier said than done, but try to relax - try some baby massage it will calm you both down.

My eldest cried for about 3 years LOL, I wish you all the best and please speak to your HV(((hugs)))

I asked by hv she said its normal. But there is no way this is normal

Kit_Kat_Kate · 2 May 2007 at 7:34PM

AnnieH wrote: »

Are you stressed out? ))

Yes and feel like I have failed as a Mum.

AnnieH · 2 May 2007 at 7:38PM

Oh honey you haven't failed. The fact that youre worried shows that you're a great mum. Does she pull her legs up to her chest when she cries? If she does thats a sign of tummy ache. If its a high pitched scream then thats a headachey baby. The HV is wrong to say its normal whn its not mormal for you.

Of course at 9 months its most likely the dreaded teeth:mad: the only compensation for that is that there is a bit of a rest between teeth. put some carrot sticks in the fridge for her to chew on but make sure you watch her carefully so she doesn't choke.

ClaireLR · 2 May 2007 at 7:39PM

Oh dear dont feel you have failed.

I dont have any children so can't really offer any practical advice, just wanted to say hang in there, maybe visit your GP to ask for further advice? Make sure you look after yourself and don't get to down about this. Do you have any family that could maybe help out to give you a much needed break?? Hope you are ok. x x

jlj_2 · 2 May 2007 at 7:41PM

Unfortunately I think this is normal, my eldest son was like this until he was over a year old. That doesn't help you much though i'm afraid and its so tiring isn't it, I thought he'd never grow out of it and I would die of exhaustion but he did improve. I think he was that way because he was my first baby and also I lived in a flat and was worried that if I just let him cry it would disturb people so always picked him up if he was sad. (he's now 18 and is ok:D )

lotto-dreamer · 2 May 2007 at 7:48PM

I remember reading all the advice in various literature handed out to new Mums such as "when baby sleeps, Mum does...such and such" Hah! what a joke. My older son also kept crying, was always restless, I couldn't get anything done! Once he got mobile and finally got to school he was much better. He has a pretty good brain so I think he might have been frustrated??

My younger son was the sweetest placid baby, always gurgling sweetly in his pram, but has been (sigh) the teenager from hell!

For peace of mind get your baby checked out for any health problems- but otherwise relax. They do not all behave according to the book. The only thing I would say is that I was quite an anxious new Mum with my older son and this might (or might not) have contributed to things.

As long as your baby is healthy, stop worrying. It is a hard slog but it will become easier. All babies are born with different personalities and they won't all behave the same. Best advice is probably to try to relax yourself. If you can't, don't worry - it will get better. Music is quite soothing - try different sorts (particularly classical) - it might help.

Shelanne · 2 May 2007 at 7:49PM

Is this your first baby? Unfortunately some of them just do cry a lot! I had a great huggababy sling and with my third I basically just didn't put her down for about six months!!! The difference was that by number 3 you really do know that all phases pass and time really goes by so quickly that it didn't stress me to carry her/nurse her all the time, I just got on with it, quite enjoyed it with hind sight! I really recommend a good sling and just carry baby around with you. I don't know whether it cured my crying baby or I just did it until she grew out of the crying phase!! Enjoy being close to her and feed her plenty and often is about the only advice I can give. Oh yes and ignore everyone's advice and find what works for the two of you!! Hang in there, you are a great mum and it does get better.

soolin · 2 May 2007 at 7:51PM

My youngest did that I was at my wits end. One day I even took him to my GP practice when I knew the health visitor was there and tried to give him to her and walk away as I was desperate for a break. She laughed and gave him back and said that there was no way she could be as good as I was coping with a crying baby...and we had a bit of a chat, she told me how well I was doing to cope and I did feel a bit better. She also told me that crying babies are often highly intelligent and are merely frustrated at being babies and that as he got older he would get better.

He was a hard toddler though as well, the HV actually used to bring her students to see him as they had no idea what the reality of living with a child like this was.

As soon as he started school at age 3 (they took him early as I was seriously ill and no one else could manage him as he was bored) and he just changed. He could read and write as soon as he got there, he took charge of the class and just came on in leaps and bounds. Now he is 15 and an A* student. He is still a handful, he gets very bored with things as he finds it all a bit too easy, but he is an absolute delight and very affectionate.

It's hard, I used to just walk the shops when he was crying as I felt safer when I was out. I just used to ignore the little old ladies who would stop me and tell me he was hungry (no he wasn't) or he had colic,(No he didn't). I can't offer any advice though except to say it will pass but if at all possible get some help, just a friend to have baby for an hour or so so you can have some peace. Also, just make sure there isn't an underlying reason, your GP shopuld help with that, rule out things like allergies or intolerances which might make food, even his milk upset him. I understand that there are even support groups now so maybe look into those and see if there is anyone you can talk to.

It will pass, honest and you may well have a super bright child there.

rev229 · 2 May 2007 at 7:53PM

My son cried all the time for the first 3 months then someone suggested I took him to an osteopath I was very unsure but gave it a go., Anyway it really helped he had some misalinement of neck muscles caused by his birth he was rather large and was delivered by ventose. He did cry a lot less after his sessions but in general he cried alot until he was 3 and I was at the end of my teather, there is nothing worse than a crying baby. I thought it was normal until I had my daughter who slept and ate. He is now 10 and a very happy boy. Good luck. Have you tried the crysis helpline