Eh?

Claree__x

I'm pretty sure the OP said they'd spoke on the phone?

Pechow

tea_lover wrote: »

Exactly - and ideally he needs to get a landline number for her, then he can at least check it's for the area she says she's from (although I appreciate not everyone has a landline these days, I don't).

You can also use an email she's sent to check, though it's certainly not foolproof. http://www.addictivetips.com/internet-tips/analyze-email-header-to-find-originating-ip-geographical-info/

He can also get a VoIP number to be able to call her landline for local rates.

I think though that if he was originally going to fly to her, she's being truthful about her location, otherwise that could be awkward to explain when buying a ticket or on the other side.

jaqui59

First things first ... Ive spoken to my son again, and they are both getting Web Cams today. It hasn't been a case of either of them refusing to use them to hide identities.

I think he maybe was a bit concerned that if anyone in the house saw her on his screen (His PC screen faces out into the hallway, and there is nowhere else to put it) they might have said "Oh who is that then" He obviously wanted to keep this girl a secret, and he had every right to.

Now everything is out in the open, he is going to get the Web Cam so that they can see eachother properly for the first time, and he is 100% certain he will be seeing exactly what he expects to see!

A few of you have asked how they met ... They both play the same PC game, and my son approached her, and he was also the one who suggest they meet. From what he has said, it sounds as though she lives in a very quiet area where there is nothing to do, and she views her computer as her entertainment. She doesn't drive and obviously has to be around Monday to Fridays to take her children to school and pick them up.

It now transpires, that even though her mother sounds far from desirable, it does seem that she has her daughter's interests at heart and her grandchildrens', and pays her daughters rent (yes she doesnt live in the family home) and buys her food ... The rest of the girls money comes from benefits. The mother also looks after the children when her daughter is feeling she cant cope.

This bit of information I only learnt this morning .... Apparently the girls ex and father to one of the children is in Mexico, and has been trying to get a Visa to enter the States for the last 2 years so that he can start proceedings to take both the children back there. Apparently he comes from a very large family, and he has told her that everyone will welcome the two youngsters with open arms ... Im not sure whether to believe this, but wouldn't it be a wonderful outcome if it were true!

Back to them meeting .... I cant stop my son from doing this, he has definitely made up his mind. Ive just got to hope that this young lady does manage to get a passport and that everything will go well. The worse scenario for me is the passport application will take far too long, they will both get impatient and we will be back to square one!!!

Also the fact that he might lose £500 due to being scammed, somehow pales into insignificance, bearing in mind much worse things that could possibly happen!!!

Calien27

Watto30 wrote: »

To the Op, just had a thought, has your son actually spoken to this girl over the phone?? I appreciate phone calls overseas might not be cheap but might be worth your son asking for her number if not already done this and see what her response is and if its not favourable then that tells you all you need to know, if she is a genuine person who is supposedly applying for a passport and prepared to travel to the UK then surely she would want to speak to him over the phone, typed words are all good and well but hearing someone's voice is a different matter

Online relationships can and do work out, I met my OH online nearly 7 years ago and still going strong, so it can have a happy ending but just dont want to see your son get ripped off or hurt if this is a scam

There was the recent hoax girlfriend case of the American college football player Manti Te'o, he apparently spoke to his online girlfriend on the phone numerous times, then when it all came out she wasn't real and the very convincing female voice on the phone was actually done by a very large man :eek: he went on Dr Phil and actually did "the voice" to prove it!

pimento

My son's 18 year old friend went to Mexico to meet a girl he'd been speaking to online. Do you know what happened? He had a fantastic time.

SailorSam

jaqui59 wrote: »

Also the fact that he might lose £500 due to being scammed, somehow pales into insignificance, bearing in mind much worse things that could possibly happen!!!

Even if the worst came to the worst, it's not like these stories you read about poor people who end up losing their homes and hundreds of thousands in life savings. If they've spoken for a year, a lot more by the time she comes here. I think it's £500 well spent.

Calien27

Not all cases are the same though, are they? I met my first serious boyfriend online and we had a great relationship and are still friends now, my dad also met his ex girlfriend online, but not all meetings with virtual friends/partners turn out that way.

This girl could be who she says she is and her and the OP's son will have a lovely time whilst she's here, but there's always a chance it and she will be the complete opposite of what the OP's son has probably built up in his mind.

Errata

Apparently the girls ex and father to one of the children is in Mexico, and has been trying to get a Visa to enter the States for the last 2 years

Whilst perhaps Mexico may be a bit manana-ish, I doubt the visa queue is two years long.
It seems to me that the more the OP learns about the internet 'friend' the more far-fetched things seem to become.

19lottie82

I hope everything works out OK for your son OP.

I'm glad you have encouraged him to use the webcam before confiming, and paying, for a meeting.

I'd agree that the chance is the majority of what she has told him is prob true, but the thing is, with the internet, you can tell people whatever you want and pretend to be whoever you want. A lot of people will tell a few harmless white lies (or maybe more) at the start of an online relationship, and by the time it develops in to a close, frequent friendship, it's too late to turn round and admit that they were lying.
It would be all too easy for a 18 stone girl with acne to pretend she is a catwalk model!
Or maybe I've just been watching too much Catfish!

Greener_Grass

I met my husband online. Playing a game as well funnily enough. Neither of us had webcams and we only exchanged one picture before we met in person. We did speak on the phone everyday after a couple of months though. I'm pleased to say it worked out well, we met up 5 months of talking in the middle of the country as we were both from opposite ends and spent almost every weekend together after that before I moved to be with him 4 months later. Best thing I ever did. We have been together almost six years now and have a son together. Internet romances can work out well but can equally be a disaster. I'm addicted to catfish the tv show and on the majority of episodes the person turns out to be someone completely different, I hope your sons relationship is different.

I feel very sorry for the children if this woman apparently doesn't like them! I worship my son! I also cannot imagine leaving him at a few days notice to fly to the otherside of the world to visit someone. Edit I cannot imagine leaving him at all