Son quit job

z.n

Hermia wrote: »

We take on quite a few school-leavers where I work and you won't believe how many leave because some parts of the jobs are routine etc. We always tell them that once they have learnt the basics and proved themselves they can start to work on more interesting projects and have more input and maybe even start their own project. But no, they leave claiming that they will find some utopian workplace...

My DH just had to sack a lad because he would not heed the several warnings to do the boring bits properly.He couldn't grasp why it was important to get them right and in the end the other staff gave an ultimatum- they have employed several young women but this is the second time there have been problems with a boy. Maybe they need a bit of adventure before they settle down- the lack of a girl/boyfriend suggests a later developer?

Bufger

My brother does something similar. He's really talented at many things but he'll do something for a year and then just quit. he hasnt had a job in a while now and relies on his Mrs to bring in the cash.

You need to have a word with him. He needs to have a plan. If his plan is to sit on the xbox all day then let him get on with it and do the following:

Wait until his xbox live subscription runs out. When he mentions it say you cant renew it because you're using that money to feed and house him

Sell his xbox/PS3 whilst hes out. Tell him it got him another 2 weeks worth of food but you're running out of ideas

Cancel any kind of funding of his lifestyle He needs to learn that if hes not contributing then hes not going to get anything out of it. You will give him the basics, a roof over his head and some basic food. If he wants anything else (including internet!) then he has to earn it like everyone else. Life is tough and rubbish but why should it be more rubbish for you because he cant be bothered.

suze200

Many thanks to all who have posted, both + and -. To be fair for a while he had said he wasn't enjoying the job and it wasn't what he'd expected. We had always said just carry on and get your qualifications and then find something else, as successfully completing an apprenticeship with a major bank would help to get a job doing anything else, even something completely unrelated. I guess we didn't understand just how unhappy he was as he was really upset last night to the point of tears. He said he didn't tell us he was going to resign because we would just try and talk him out of it.

Anyway on a positive note I pointed him in the direction of WWOOFING (thanks to those who suggested that) and it looks like he is going to give it a go. We will see.

SuzieSue

suze200 wrote: »

Many thanks to all who have posted, both + and -. To be fair for a while he had said he wasn't enjoying the job and it wasn't what he'd expected. We had always said just carry on and get your qualifications and then find something else, as successfully completing an apprenticeship with a major bank would help to get a job doing anything else, even something completely unrelated. I guess we didn't understand just how unhappy he was as he was really upset last night to the point of tears. He said he didn't tell us he was going to resign because we would just try and talk him out of it.

Anyway on a positive note I pointed him in the direction of WWOOFING (thanks to those who suggested that) and it looks like he is going to give it a go. We will see.

Sorry OP, but you need to be tougher with him. Unless he was being tortured at work there is no reason why he couldn't have stuck it out until he got his qualifications. We all have to do things we don't want to do (I hated my first job and would cry about it but I stuck it out until I got the experience I needed).

You would have tried to talk him out of it for a reason and perhaps you might even have come round to agreeing that he should leave, but not before he got another job.

If he was so unhappy, why did he ask for his job back the next day?

He can't keep messing up his opportunities on a whim as they won't keep coming. People are allowed to make a mistake but not to keep making them.

suze200

Treevo wrote: »

Yes. Mine wouldn't walk out of a perfectly good job without a damn good reason, and if while living under my roof, without discussing it with me. If they did, they'd be expected to have a new job within a fortnight, and if they didn't, they wouldn't be living in my house.

Walking out of a perfectly good job on a whim is not normal teenage behaviour - it's pathetic irresponsibility.

Anyone who walks out a job on a whim is a waster.

If he'd worked out of a job with a family to support I would agree with you. However if you can't make a mistake and be irresponsible at 18/19 when can you. As for saying get a job it a fortnight or you're homeless how ridiculous.

Make no mistake he is not going to get an easy ride but I will not make him homeless.

suze200

SuzieSue wrote: »

Sorry OP, but you need to be tougher with him. Unless he was being tortured at work there is no reason why he couldn't have stuck it out until he got his qualifications. We all have to do things we don't want to do (I hated my first job and would cry about it but I stuck it out until I got the experience I needed). Me too

You would have tried to talk him out of it for a reason and perhaps you might even have come round to agreeing that he should leave, but not before he got another job. Of course we would have. But what's done is done.

If he was so unhappy, why did he ask for his job back the next day? Because after he'd told us and we talked about it he realised what a knob he had been.

He can't keep messing up his opportunities on a whim as they won't keep coming. People are allowed to make a mistake but not to keep making them. He knows

Can't change the past can we.

SuzieSue

suze200 wrote: »

Can't change the past can we.

No you can't, but hopefully, this will help other people whose children think that they can make those sorts of decisions because they are "adults" to ensure they lay down the law to them before it gets to this stage just like my parents (and probably yours) did.

ValHaller

suze200 wrote: »

I guess we didn't understand just how unhappy he was as he was really upset last night to the point of tears. He said he didn't tell us he was going to resign because we would just try and talk him out of it.

It is sort of a telling statement. The earlier comment about no gf and being a late developer does stick out to me.

I wonder how much you know about what was going on in the workplace, what his work was like? Because you have not said much about it. The fact that he was not allowed to retract his resignation says that things were going wrong anyway in quite a visible way. A chat with him may reveal that he was actually bounced into resigning by a wily boss.

He looks squeezed from several directions and not mature enough to cope.

suze200

FBaby wrote: »

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Saying something is boring is a very poor excuse for an intelligent hard working kid, so something must be going on with him. His desire to go and live of the land also hint to me towards a lost kid who just has enough of life pressures and expectations.

I think what I would aim to try is rather than going on about what a bad person he is for doing what he did, I would make it clear that I am disappointed in his actions but try to work with him to get him back on his feet. That doesn't mean avoiding the tough love because he does indeed to learn the consequences of his actions, but also being there for him to try to help him find the way out of his confused state, help him getting inspired and motivated again, because without it, any tough love will only just bring him down further.

These were my thoughts too.

suze200

ValHaller wrote: »

It is sort of a telling statement. The earlier comment about no gf and being a late developer does stick out to me.

I wonder how much you know about what was going on in the workplace, what his work was like? Because you have not said much about it. The fact that he was not allowed to retract his resignation says that things were going wrong anyway in quite a visible way. A chat with him may reveal that he was actually bounced into resigning by a wily boss.

He looks squeezed from several directions and not mature enough to cope.

The work was not a problem. The apprentices have a formal apprisal every three months. At the last one in December he got a glowing report (he showed us) was at graded at B (scale A-E) and told he would be getting a pay rise in April due to performance. This makes it even more annoying that he's jacked it in. His boss gave him a lift home last night (usually got the bus) so don't think he thinks that badly of him.