Son quit job

SuzieSue

suze200 wrote: »

These were my thoughts too.

And also why he felt he couldn't speak to you before he resigned.

alleycat`

suze200 wrote: »

The work was not a problem. The apprentices have a formal apprisal every three months. At the last one in December he got a glowing report (he showed us) was at graded at B (scale A-E) and told he would be getting a pay rise in April due to performance. This makes it even more annoying that he's jacked it in. His boss gave him a lift home last night (usually got the bus) so don't think he thinks that badly of him.

Off the back of that, and i might have missed it, how exactly did he resign?
It is expensive for a company to go through the process they just did to hire him, so for them to just let him go, and with him getting a good personal review what else happened?

He didn't just walk out?

SuzieSue

alleycat` wrote: »

Off the back of that, and i might have missed it, how exactly did he resign?
It is expensive for a company to go through the process they just did to hire him, so for them to just let him go, and with him getting a good personal review what else happened?

He didn't just walk out?

See post 63

ValHaller

suze200 wrote: »

The work was not a problem. The apprentices have a formal apprisal every three months. At the last one in December he got a glowing report (he showed us) was at graded at B (scale A-E) and told he would be getting a pay rise in April due to performance. This makes it even more annoying that he's jacked it in. His boss gave him a lift home last night (usually got the bus) so don't think he thinks that badly of him.

Although on the face of it, with the glowing report, he had nothing to worry about so his resignation was down to him, I suspect that there may be more to it than just 'being bored'. Bear in mind that he did not want to talk about resigning beforehand, so he may be reluctant to tell you what went on in case you tear a strip from him.

Software is straightforward to those who have a mind for it. But they can often fall down in understanding very little about the environment for which they write software. So he may well have been writing software into a total vacuum of understanding about the banking itself - which coupled with any reluctance to get to grips with the world of customers and banking could put him on the wrong end of someone's radar.

I would suggest that you ask and listen and learn and you do this for several sessions all the while absolutely resisting the temptation to advise. Perhaps you advise as though it was all simple and straightforward - without actually understanding the inner issues. If this is the case, he has probably clammed up because your solutions don't address his problems in part because you have not really understood them.

alleycat`

SuzieSue wrote: »

See post 63

Having now seen post #63 and everything else we know that doesn't make a huge amount of sense.
Not much more to add then..

SuzieSue

ValHaller wrote: »

So he may well have been writing software into a total vacuum of understanding about the banking itself - which coupled with any reluctance to get to grips with the world of customers and banking could put him on the wrong end of someone's radar.

.

This is very possible. It is very difficult being 19 and being told you are an adult when you are mentally still a child and then being expected to know things that you don't know at work.

suze200

ValHaller wrote: »

Although on the face of it, with the glowing report, he had nothing to worry about so his resignation was down to him, I suspect that there may be more to it than just 'being bored'. Bear in mind that he did not want to talk about resigning beforehand, so he may be reluctant to tell you what went on in case you tear a strip from him.

Software is straightforward to those who have a mind for it. But they can often fall down in understanding very little about the environment for which they write software. So he may well have been writing software into a total vacuum of understanding about the banking itself - which coupled with any reluctance to get to grips with the world of customers and banking could put him on the wrong end of someone's radar.

I would suggest that you ask and listen and learn and you do this for several sessions all the while absolutely resisting the temptation to advise. Perhaps you advise as though it was all simple and straightforward - without actually understanding the inner issues. If this is the case, he has probably clammed up because your solutions don't address his problems in part because you have not really understood them.

I think you could be right. When he had been complaining about it in the past saying how it wasn't the right job for him, how he hated beeing stuck in an office etc. OH had reacted a bit Treevo style (see post # 67).

ValHaller

suze200 wrote: »

OH had reacted a bit Treevo style (see post # 67).

Treevo wrote: »

Yes. Mine wouldn't walk out of a perfectly good job without a damn good reason, and if while living under my roof ..... Anyone who walks out a job on a whim is a waster.

Thus ending all dialog, prospect of getting to the bottom of it and prospect of providing help to deal with the situation and stay in the job.

OH should put a cork in it - things along these lines make the expectations clear but undermine son's ability to cope with the situation in a way which will meet the expectations.

SuzieSue

ValHaller wrote: »

Thus ending all dialog, prospect of getting to the bottom of it and prospect of providing help to deal with the situation and stay in the job.

OH should put a cork in it - things along these lines make the expectations clear but undermine son's ability to cope with the situation in a way which will meet the expectations.

There is nothing wrong with reacting like Treevo before the event, but after is too late.

Joons

Treevo wrote: »

Yes. Mine wouldn't walk out of a perfectly good job without a damn good reason, and if while living under my roof, without discussing it with me. If they did, they'd be expected to have a new job within a fortnight, and if they didn't, they wouldn't be living in my house.

Walking out of a perfectly good job on a whim is not normal teenage behaviour - it's pathetic irresponsibility.

Anyone who walks out a job on a whim is a waster.

I take your points, they are good but I know lots of folk who at the age of 19 or during their teenage years (including myself), they did walk out on at least one job, none are wasters, moi certainly not lol! I do agree with you though that it was a stupid thing to do, but, did you never do anything stupid as a teenager or have you always been a fountain of sensibility and maturity??? Plus, how many of us say we would throw out kids out and how many of us actually would!