Son quit job

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I would have loved to go WWOOFing.

If there is anyway you can encourage him (including if he chooses an overseas one, retaining a small emergency fund for a flight home without telling him), then he could find his way so much quicker.

Makes it less likely he will throw a midlife crisis at a wife and kids in twenty years' time, too.

Mojisola

The volunteering opportunities are worth exploring too.

There's nothing like spending time helping people whose life is much harder than yours to make you appreciate what you've got.

Also, if you are genuinely helping someone, their thanks can really build your self-esteem - there's a curious mix of feeling good about what you've contributed combined with a humility that people are grateful for the small amount you've been able to help them.

pmlindyloo

As someone who spent many years abroad when young (all be it with a job) I have some sympathy with your son.

I don't condone his freeloading or playing on the x box all day but I can understand his desire to get out of the rat race.

I am lucky that I was able to 'spead my wings' before I married and had a family. You are a long time managing a mortgage and being tied into a job because you have a family to support.

There is a huge world out there and if ever there is a time to exlore it then it's when you are young. How many of us wish we had done more when we were younger? Most of us have to wait until we are pensioners before we can see the world and then we are too blooming old to take full advantage!

Don't let hime take advantage of you but don't be of the 'you must get a job' brigade. Encourage him to 'stretch his wings' but, at the same time, try to ensure that he has some structure to it. There are some wonderful opportunities out there - he just needs to find them.

Macca83_2

Treevo wrote: »

Yes. Mine wouldn't walk out of a perfectly good job without a damn good reason, and if while living under my roof, without discussing it with me. If they did, they'd be expected to have a new job within a fortnight, and if they didn't, they wouldn't be living in my house.

Walking out of a perfectly good job on a whim is not normal teenage behaviour - it's pathetic irresponsibility.

Anyone who walks out a job on a whim is a waster.

This is very much the approach my mum took with me. I was told at 16 to get a job or leave the house. I was still at school. I would never have packed in a job without having another lined up to go to. It just wasn't acceptable.

I don't have any negative feelings towards the way in which I was taught to take responsibility for myself. At the time, if you'd asked me, I would have been strongly opposed to the unfairness of it all. it's only now I can see the good its done me.

suze200

Well had a talk with son over the weekend.He still says he wants to be "free" and forage for his food. When asked how he intended to achieve this, when he has trouble foraging in the fridge to feed himself when a meal is not provided, his reply was "do some research and then just do it". So in the meantime he expects free bed and board.

When I asked if he'd given any thought to WWOFING he said that wasn't what he wanted to do because he would still be obliged to fit in with someone else’s timetable and expectations.

Seriously thinking about pitching a tent in the back garden. He might be more willing to try the real world after a few weeks out there (would still feed him)

Caz3121

he does know that xbox live connectivity will be an issue in a tent I assume!

why on earth should he assume free bed and board in the meantime....he has money in the bank that he can use

suze200

Caz3121 wrote: »

he does know that xbox live connectivity will be an issue in a tent I assume!

why on earth should he assume free bed and board in the meantime....he has money in the bank that he can use

The tent is not his idea. If he paid board at the rate he was when working he has enough for 4 months. However it was a battle to get it out of him then. I'm not really prepared to have to fight for it.

mrcow

Honestly. I'd give him a week.

Until the end of the week to come up with a plan as if he hasn't got a job or isn't actively looking for another job by then, then he's leaving at the weekend.

That gives him a week to do his research, and after that, he can find out for himself. He needs a kick up the bum, and you'e just the person to give it to him.

If he has't moved out by Monday, then he leaves the house at 8am every day and can be let back in at 6pm.

Your home is not a doss-house.

suze200

mrcow wrote: »

Honestly. I'd give him a week.

Until the end of the week to come up with a plan as if he hasn't got a job or isn't actively looking for another job by then, then he's leaving at the weekend.

That gives him a week to do his research, and after that, he can find out for himself. He needs a kick up the bum, and you'e just the person to give it to him.

If he has't moved out by Monday, then he leaves the house at 8am every day and can be let back in at 6pm.

Your home is not a doss-house.

Thats more or less what I said, except I also said I wanted proof that some research had been done.

Joons

Kicking him out the house at 8 and not letting him back in until 6pm is a bit ott in my opinion. Okay, he's messed up, give him a chance though to put things right, he's got enough money to pay his way just now so wait and see what he does first before locking him out and cutting off electricity, just sounds ridiculous tbh.