Son quit job

z3phyr04

I was in a similar position to the OP's son a few years ago (IT apprenticeship with a company I wasn't enjoying working for). My learning suffered for a while because of it but I made the decision to stick it out whilst I decided what to do - it took 5-6 months looking before I found another company I could transfer to and continue doing the course. After that I enjoyed the work, got back on track and completed the course. I am still working for the same company to date. He may have had the right idea of what he wanted to do but had a bad experience and isn't telling you the full story?

Granted, my experience I perhaps got slightly lucky in finding another company that was willing to allow me to transfer to them. I'm not sure exactly how long I would have stuck on working away at the previous company but I would like to think if I had no luck transferring I found something else to do first.

Don't be too slack on him, but give him a short while to sort things out as others have suggested. Basically, don't let him get all too comfortable with where he is right now - I'm much happier with my life and value my luxuries now that I pay for them.

lostinrates

suze200 wrote: »

Well had a talk with son over the weekend.He still says he wants to be "free" and forage for his food. When asked how he intended to achieve this, when he has trouble foraging in the fridge to feed himself when a meal is not provided, his reply was "do some research and then just do it". So in the meantime he expects free bed and board.

When I asked if he'd given any thought to WWOFING he said that wasn't what he wanted to do because he would still be obliged to fit in with someone else’s timetable and expectations.

Seriously thinking about pitching a tent in the back garden. He might be more willing to try the real world after a few weeks out there (would still feed him)

Fwiw, nature has a time table too.

No expectations though...you either survive well or you do not.

suze200

z3phyr04 wrote: »

I'm much happier with my life and value my luxuries now that I pay for them.

I think part of the problem of why he lacks motivation is that he is not materalistic at all, never has been. He cares nothing for designer clothes (or even new clothes), no interest in cars, doesn't drink etc. Only expendature is xbox (live) and computer games he so doesn't want or need money to fund luxuries.

suze200

Joons wrote: »

Kicking him out the house at 8 and not letting him back in until 6pm is a bit ott in my opinion. Okay, he's messed up, give him a chance though to put things right, he's got enough money to pay his way just now so wait and see what he does first before locking him out and cutting off electricity, just sounds ridiculous tbh.

I agree but what does puting it right mean? His chances of getting another job are next to none now and I don't see researching "how to forage for food" is much of an attempt either.

uk_american

I work in IT--if it's not his cup of tea, better that he figures out now before he devotes years of his life climbing the career ladder and having a meltdown later, having lost time he could have devoted to his 'real' future career.

That being said, the WWOOFing idea is interesting. Another option, perhaps less of a commitment but still plenty of fresh air and worthy work--working holidays with the National Trust might be an option, although it requires an upkeep contribution: http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/holidays/working-holidays/

geekgirl

RAS wrote: »

Refer him here http://www.wwoof.org.uk/ and give him one month to sort out a placement

I was going to suggest just this, I was just reading through in case someone else had already done it.

It is an excellent way to travel the UK and get some experience of good old hard work.

Mojisola

suze200 wrote: »

I think part of the problem of why he lacks motivation is that he is not materalistic at all, never has been. He cares nothing for designer clothes (or even new clothes), no interest in cars, doesn't drink etc. Only expendature is xbox (live) and computer games he so doesn't want or need money to fund luxuries.

geekgirl wrote: »

I was going to suggest just this, I was just reading through in case someone else had already done it.

It is an excellent way to travel the UK and get some experience of good old hard work.

We're not all the same and if he is a less worldly soul, he can still find his way in the world without having a 9 to 5 job.

If he does go WWOOFing, he'll soon realise from the people he meets that there are some things that you just have to earn money to pay for but, if you're content with very few material goods, it doesn't have to be much.

The main issue is not to let him slob about at home so set him that time limit and encourage him to head off to start life's adventure.

pink_princess

RAS wrote: »

A lot of wwoofers overseas work part of the time and then take a holiday as well which they have to fund. They have to pay their own transport costs to the placement as well. UK and EU placements would be cheaper to get to.

Providers have to explain the basis on which they are offering exchange and that might be all meals, self catering or even cash payments.

Thanks for this link ras, my daughter is interested :j

squack

This young lad is feeling "the call of the wild" and becoming a man

The world of playing computer games is not reality, these are little more than time wasting devices, great as relaxation, in effect the software job was merely an extension of these geeky interests, yes he has lost his pay packet and by jacking the potentially glittering career let his parents down, but if he was unhappy then at least he has been true to himself

He has yet to learn the practical and fulfilling skills that he will need to live his alternative lifestyle, but he knows he is intelligent enough to do it, it's just a case of channeling the motivation

We should encourage the next generation to live more sustainably rather than be wage slaves working for banks, some people love the routine of going to a secure job and a guaranteed salary but it doesn't suit everyone

Which doesn't mean sitting at home sponging off your parents or society either

Buy him some packets of seeds or something:money:

cheeswright

having read through the posts I was interested in the opposing viewpoints

if your son is not just having some kind of teenage mental burp he really needs a plan - and long and short term goals
and he needs to re-educated himself to achieve them whilst providing for himself in the meantime

gaming - as squak says is is only a modern way of time filling...already an expression of bordom...

could you suggest he comes up with a business type plan...with himself as the business?

long term maybe he'd like a plot of land...build himself a house..run courses in self sufficiency ? I assume he can see the health problems with sleeping in hedges ?I'm just guessing here....but what does he picture himself as a happy thirty year old doing?

how many hours a week would he have to work to pay his basic keep if he does a part time less skilled job ?
how many more to pay for himself to do a few courses ?and the wwoof thing looks like a wonderful way to get opportinities to meet people living sucessful and unsucessful alternate lifestyles...and learn from them and their mistakes...without having to make them yourself

is it worth asking himself to take himself this seriously ? it will at least give you an idea if he really does have some kind of vision of his future , or if he was simply throwing his toys out of the pram - good luck