Kids living at home.

i1189

My parents didn't charge me any rent when I lived with them (they don't have a mortgage though). I did pay for my food/toiletries/personal stuff. I also bought random things for the house, like a new vacuum cleaner, when needed. Plus I looked after the (large) garden and bought everything needed for that.
This enabled me to save up enough for a house deposit, which my parents said they preferred to the thought of me being stuck at home for a few more years.

belfastgirl23

Does your daughter understand that you can't manage financially without her contribution? How much do you protect her from having to worry about finances? If you can't afford to support her then all questions about what's right and wrong have to be framed by this. Your daughter has nearly the same disposable income as me and I'm earning a professional salary

I think you should take her step by step through the household outgoings. Don't get distracted by what you would be paying 'anyway' - if she was sharing a house she wouldn't expect others to cover rates on her behalf. Then work out what her 'share' of outgoings are - I bet it's a lot more than £25 per week. Take her through your own disposable income (if any). Then ask her what she thinks is fair. At the very least you'll have made your point.

I'd say if she is trying to save towards something and you are managing financially at the minute then you could let it lie but agree regular small increases to reflect cost of living etc. But if she is spending the money on going out and clothes etc then I'd definitely look for a bigger share of it.

Remember you are helping her to prepare for the rest of her life here. And that means taking financial responsibility.

louise_1981

betterlatethannever wrote: »

sorry, i try not to repeat old threads and did do a search (but obviously not a good enough one)
I like the idea of her buying food for a week, though i fear we may live on spag bol all week.

Sorry I was not trying to say "DON'T REPEAT THREADS!!!:mad: "

I was trying to say that there would be a wealth of infor on there.

I can not believe how much this has grown since last night!

Louise

louise_1981

crawley_girl wrote: »

I'm sorry but I disagree. Why should my parents support me any longer? I've had a mortgage for the past 5 years and rented for 2 years prior to that and was at university for the 3 years before that. I returned home for 3 months inbetween renting and buying, but only cos the vendor was dragging her heels and my mum insisted... I was all up for trying to extend my tenancy for a further 3 months!!!

I have to agree, we moved in with my oh grandmother how has refused any money, while were were buying a house that was Last AUGUST!!!!, but it fell through anyway found another one just before chirstmas and have been doing it up since Feb, and we are moving in this weekend!!!!!! having put in a new bath new kitchen and basically re plastering in every room. But I will be sad to move out of the cosy cocoon of his grandmas house

betterlatethannever

yes Louise, i was surprised how its grown too, its obviously a subject that everyone has an opinion on, which is great and all the stuff written has been helpful
Will show it too my daughter tonight and see what her reaction is.
Belfast girl, some excellent stuff you've written there, i have protected her a little though she knows i'm in trouble. Maybe its time to show/tell her just how much.
I do NEED her little contribution just to survive. I wish i was able to let her have more so she could save up but thats not a position i'm in.

liney

I would go with a third, but i would never charge whilst my son was in Education and visiting for holidays or on an apprenteship: those things should be encouraged, not made more difficult.

belfastgal

liney wrote: »

I would go with a third, but i would never charge whilst my son was in Education and visiting for holidays or on an apprenteship: those things should be encouraged, not made more difficult.

That was the point I was trying to make in my earlier post my daughter is the only one in my and hubbys immediate family who has ever gone to uni and we are so proud we dont mind helping out. We both have done ok in our jobs but more by sheer luck and hard work - and things are so different now for kids.they really need their education for almost any kind of job.My daughter really appreciates what we do for her and gives us lifts etc , babysits her brother etc

belfastgirl23

Glad it was useful - I was basing my post on something my mum did with my brother and I when we were late teenagers. We 'sort of' knew that there wasn't a lot of money around but it was a real eyeopener seeing it all explained. My brother especially says it was a huge lesson for him, I had always shopped wiht my mum etc so I had a better idea of how much things cost, but he would always have been going on about wanting this and that and really in his own way didn't understand that there just wasn't the money.

It also encouraged us to be pretty open about money within the family which is a really good thing imho. I know in DHs family they don't talk about it till someone is really in dire straits and I'd much rather being open about it, you learn so much more besides anything else...

keelykat

I don't think you really take in how much living in your own place costs, untill you do move out in my opinion. The the reality hits you, when living with parents-it's easy to moan about costs but in reality the bills need to be paid and you can't argue with the electricity company etc about what to pay them!
I was lucky that my dad wouldn't take anything off me, but i didnt ask him for anything as i did feel guilty. When studying full time, i didnt have a part time job as my course was wearing me down and taking up all my time. i got a grant type thing from college, which i brought my materials with and i got a free bus pass from the college too. i brought my own things when i did have a part time job, but to be honest-i left home young to live with my boyfriend and so my parents didnt have to put up with me for long!
Moving out made me realise how much things cost, but i'm pleased to say im almost 23 now-married and we brought our first property last year after renting for 2 years.

keely.

minimoneysaver

If you can afford to, have you thought about taking the amount that you already do, but put it all in an emergency savings account for her that she doesn't know about. I'm sure she is going to need help saving for the deposit on a house soon enough and all of those 25 pounds per week will add up really quickly. She'll be made up in years to come when she finds out where that money went to. Good luck x

Edit: oops, just read up the page a bit and noticed that you need the money from your daughter. Oh well, at least my idea may help other parents who are in a better position to save. That'll teach me to read properly before posting in the future!