Wedding presents for Newlyweds who have been together numeros years!

Idiophreak

fluffnutter wrote: »

But it seems like the cash is increasingly being used for a glamorous honeymoon - and I think this is 'billing your guests'. I'm probably old-fashioned but if you can't afford a fortnight in the Bahamas at some naff Sandals resort, then you don't go. You don't get your guests to pay for your holiday for you.

So it sounds like the OP's decided they're going to get some cinema and meal vouchers for the bride and groom...I presume you're against that, too? I mean, they obviously can't afford to go to the cinema or have a meal, so they just shouldn't go, right?

I come across this attitude a lot on these forums and I can never understand it. Personally, with the cash that was given to us for our wedding, we:
Swam with dolphins
Swam with manatees
Upgraded our hire car from a supermini to a 3.7ltr Camaro
Took a carriage ride through central perk
Ate in a 3* restaurant...

You know what, you're right...It was a glamorous honeymoon, and we couldn't have afforded to do this stuff without our wedding gifts...but that's why we appreciated them so very much. They gave us wonderful memories that will last us a life time - hard to imagine a better present than that.

fluffnutter

Idiophreak wrote: »

So it sounds like the OP's decided they're going to get some cinema and meal vouchers for the bride and groom...I presume you're against that, too? I mean, they obviously can't afford to go to the cinema or have a meal, so they just shouldn't go, right?

Did you read my first post on this thread? If you want to get your head out of your arse for a moment it's post no. 3.

VK-2008

Well the person I get mine from does not open nappies up they are merely just placed and then the towels or blankets are shaped
There is always a gift tag attached advising what is within what size and brand and also clothing marked on it too
Every person I have gave one to has loved it and were excited to see what was within
I agree not everyone likes them but a lot of folk do

With regards to money I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for money as a gift or putting it in your invitations in form of a poem
That person is asking for something they would like
Don't see the harm in contributing donations to Thomas cook holiday fund for example or buying from a gift list
Gift lists are my fave as it means I can get a parcel for something they want
But if a couple chose to not ask for anything and don't exactly need money then no harm in buying a gift you suspect they would like
I mean how many people deliberately go out to buy so something you know they won't like

fluffnutter

claire16c wrote: »

Whats wrong with the 'something that they like' being a trip away? I dont see how thats any different to them buying anything else they want.

For example they could take the cash and buy a load of new towels, cookware stuff etc. When they already have this stuff so theyre essentially upgrading it to a better brand for the sake of it because theyve got some vouchers. Or they could go and buy a whole new wardrobe, when they probably have clothes already!

I guess it's about expectations. On the face of it, if you give someone cash then of course it's entirely up to the recipient how that cash is spent, whether it be towards a honeymoon or a cake made entirely of towels.

But increasingly I see people who want the 'dream' wedding peddled by the media and celebrity which is entirely out of the reach of most people. So rather than marry within budget, they ask their guests for contributions. I've seen threads on here where brides are relying on money from their guests to pay for their weddings! This is what I and, I assume, Person_one meant by 'billing their guests'. And for every thread I've seen like this, I've seen 10s from their friends who desperately want to give the bride and groom a day to remember yet are struggling to keep up with the expense.

If people are happy to give money then that's wonderful. But this idea that hard-strapped mates are being expected to contribute money they might find difficult to find just because people have decided to lie on a beach in the Caribbean for a fortnight strikes me as self-absorbed, frankly.

But I'm fairly hardcore generally about wedding presents. I asked for and expected nothing, laid on transport and as much champagne as you could drink. All I wanted was for my friends to enjoy my day.

notanewuser

VK-2008 wrote: »

Well the person I get mine from does not open nappies up they are merely just placed and then the towels or blankets are shaped

The nappies on mine had been removed from the packet and rolled individually into little sausages, secured with elastic bands.

I don't see how you could make a packet of nappies, wrapper and all, round without breaking it open.

Idiophreak

fluffnutter wrote: »

Did you read my first post on this thread? If you want to get your head out of your arse for a moment it's post no. 3.

I assumed you must have had a change of heart.

Why don't you try and explain why your "if you can't afford it, don't go" attitude only applies to honeymoons and not other experiences?

VK-2008

They were out of the plastic wrapper but not opened up as that would be unhygienic
If you know someone or buy from someone who is actually decent at making them it might surprise you what can be done
Things like dummies should not be used on nappy cakes unless they have protective cap on them as they should be kept sterile if going in someone's mouth
Also not all nappy cakes are round some make them square or rectangle so I'm guessing those ones are still in a packet
My friends expecting her first in may I asked what she was after she said nothing then said well if u font mind just nappies and wipes
So ill get her to clarify brand and then she will get 50quid worth of nappies and wipes -not exactly an exciting gift but something that is practical and will be used
Also iv found through speaking to some people they like to keep the cakes assembled and look pretty in the nursery which is nice.

notanewuser

VK-2008 wrote: »

They were out of the plastic wrapper but not opened up as that would be unhygienic
If you know someone or buy from someone who is actually decent at making them it might surprise you what can be done
Things like dummies should not be used on nappy cakes unless they have protective cap on them as they should be kept sterile if going in someone's mouth
Also not all nappy cakes are round some make them square or rectangle so I'm guessing those ones are still in a packet
My friends expecting her first in may I asked what she was after she said nothing then said well if u font mind just nappies and wipes
So ill get her to clarify brand and then she will get 50quid worth of nappies and wipes -not exactly an exciting gift but something that is practical and will be used
Also iv found through speaking to some people they like to keep the cakes assembled and look pretty in the nursery which is nice.

I don't think anybody expected that the nappies themselves would be opened!!!!

You do seem to know rather a lot about nappy cakes. Where do you buy yours from?

fluffnutter

Idiophreak wrote: »

I assumed you must have had a change of heart.

Why don't you try and explain why your "if you can't afford it, don't go" attitude only applies to honeymoons and not other experiences?

It's one thing for a friend to buy you a meal voucher, it's another thing entirely to live beyond your means and expect your mates to make up the shortfall.

74jax

fluffnutter wrote: »

It's one thing for a friend to buy you a meal voucher, it's another thing entirely to live beyond your means and expect your mates to make up the shortfall.

I don't read it to be that at all.

Idio has said the money people contributed allowed him and his new wife to do certain things. He didn't say, if they didn't recieve the money that they would have done them anyway (and get into debt). I think the money gifted to them was to spend on these extras on a honeymoon they had already planned and paid for.

If someone pushes to give you something (and guests can do that) they sometimes say well here's xyx, put it towards something when you're away. And that's what he did.