Wedding presents for Newlyweds who have been together numeros years!

Sambucus_Nigra

VK-2008 wrote: »

what friend would buy a bag of rubbish - i think you are clearly being very childish here, as stated if someone bought you a present you dont like then you shouldnt really question a friendship over it - you would just accept gift or whatever

if you dont like towel cakes or nappy cakes that's not a problem each to their own but for it to be part of a basis of a friendship i actually find that funny

omg someone got me a set of candle sticks for my wedding gift i did not like them in the slightest same with the cutlery set we got - but you know what i smiled said thank you and popped a lovely card in post

if anyone takes the time to gift you something the least you can do is appreciate the thought whether you like it or not

Touchy!

I disagree - and as this is an open forum, I am allowed to disagree and shall continue to disagree no matter how many toys you chuck out of the pram.

We obviously have different ideas about friendship - I would rather people knew me and knew my likes and dislikes rather than just buy nonsense for the sake of it just to pretend to be a friend.

claire16c

I would not want towels because I have ones in the colours that match my bathroom and I wouldnt want white ones because I know I would get make up stains on them.

I would go for gift vouchers or the cinema/meal vouchers.

But if theyve asked for cash, give cash. Its not much different from a voucher anyway!

Sambucus_Nigra

Cash is a voucher - it just happens to be able to be spent in any shop

big5

We got married after living together for a few years and really appreciated the Debenhams vouchers we got. We used them to buy things like a dinner service and set of cutlery. Obviously we had plates and cutlery already, but it was all mis-matching random stuff we had from our student days.

VK-2008

incase you havent read i am not giving them towels?!?!?!

and i am not throwing my toys out the pram you are allowed an opinion i never said you werent however if a friend valued my friendship on what gifts i got them then they are hardly a friend!!!!!

the couple have not asked for gift even though i asked them what they are after
so it merely a minding i am giving them hence they are the type of couple who would be happy with anything
i am happy toaccept peoples opinions - yes if you would like certain no if you dont but each person is different hence why i started the thread in the first place
some people have made great suggestions other less so, however as i have mentioned i dont like giving gifts or money unless someone specifically requests it - the couple are not requesting anything

personally i like towels (however not giving this as a gift) but people could easily turn round and say of cash - not much thought went in to that gift
each person looks at a gift differently (some even question a friendship on it) but thats not me

Sambucus_Nigra

VK-2008 wrote: »

the couple are not requesting anything

Actually - they are requesting nothing. So they value your friendship without any presents.

Which is as it should be.

mrcow

VK-2008 wrote: »

incase you havent read i am not giving them towels?!?!?!

I think that's the right choice.

Have you ditched the "nappy cake" idea too?

j-josie

My DD (22) is getting married this year and although she lives with her partner, and have their own pots and pans and plates and stuff, they are poor as church mice... DH & I are paying for the modest wedding and as far as I know there is no honeymoon planned.
They don't want to ask anything from their guests, but it would be lovely for them to start married life with a wee bit of cash behind them ( for say a little break somewhere or to put to her partner's PhD costs, or even a little buffer in the bank which I actually think is preferable but somehow not acceptable to say) But trying to find wording for this request is just so hard... I don't know if we should just wait for individual guests to ask, as the little poem inserts I have seen on Ebay seem...so crass.
What do people think is the best way to approach this?

Person_one

j-josie wrote: »

My DD (22) is getting married this year and although she lives with her partner, and have their own pots and pans and plates and stuff, they are poor as church mice... DH & I are paying for the modest wedding and as far as I know there is no honeymoon planned.
They don't want to ask anything from their guests, but it would be lovely for them to start married life with a wee bit of cash behind them ( for say a little break somewhere or to put to her partner's PhD costs, or even a little buffer in the bank which I actually think is preferable but somehow not acceptable to say) But trying to find wording for this request is just so hard... I don't know if we should just wait for individual guests to ask, as the little poem inserts I have seen on Ebay seem...so crass.
What do people think is the best way to approach this?

Your instincts are right, the only way to do it without being rude is to wait for people to ask. Make sure the key players (bridesmaids, ushers, parents, siblings) know that this is their preference and let the word spread organically.

Begging letters in wedding invites are awful, whether they rhyme or not, and the fact is that nobody owes them anything so its really off to basically bill your guests. Some of them will be hard up too remember.

Mayflower10cat

Person_one wrote: »

Your instincts are right, the only way to do it without being rude is to wait for people to ask. Make sure the key players (bridesmaids, ushers, parents, siblings) know that this is their preference and let the word spread organically.

Begging letters in wedding invites are awful, whether they rhyme or not, and the fact is that nobody owes them anything so its really off to basically bill your guests. Some of them will be hard up too remember.

Popped into my head just now - premium bonds. I know there's a minimum purchase now, but if some guests pooled their ££s...??