Doulas

Nicki

pigpen wrote: »

ah, ok. I skipped a few in the middle where people were repeating themselves.

As my daughters birthing partner I was a bit pushy. I also refused a section on her behalf.. 'because theatre is empty now!' was NOT a good enough reason to slice my daughter and leave her with a disfiguring scar forever. Baby was fine, not in distress and she was doing well too I wasn't just being a nutter lol

Doulas are as any birthing partner an intermediary between the woman and the staff, or should be! Paid or not!!

I'm glad that decision worked out for you both.

If my birthing partner (whoever that was) took it upon themselves to decline a c section which had been advised by a medical professional and my child was born with a preventable disability or worse stillborn, the relationship with the birthing partner would be irrevocably over.

Also, having had 2 sections, I can reassure you that unless your daughter is a fan of the Hollywood wax, her scar far from being disfiguring would not even be visible. The incision is made about 2 inches below the hair line, so would be covered by the landing strip on even a moderately waxed woman, and fades to virtually invisible anyway within about a year. (I have other keloid scars on other parts of the body which are pink and raised, but both c section scars are barely visible and are flat and white). Even if she did have a tiny scar, unless she plans to make her living as a stripper (and even then), its still a rubbish reason to put a baby's life at risk.

nickyhutch

meer53 wrote: »

I don't have a disfiguring scar ? It's barely visible.

Mine's completely disappeared.

Counting_Pennies_2

dizziblonde wrote: »

Sadly we're that line where we're just too well off to qualify for most stuff - but just scraping by each month... well it's at least better than a lot of people with the economy in the mess it's in!

That is a shame. What about a Doula in training, they basically hae done all the theory and now getting the 80 hours hands on experience. They have to offer themselves at a low price until they are qualified

Edit just checked Doula's website and it is Mentored for in training, and Recognised for Qualified hth

pigpen

meer53 wrote: »

I don't have a disfiguring scar ? It's barely visible.

Then you are one of the few lucky ones, mine is disgusting. and isn't even the worst I have seen. My sisters is all wonky and red and angry looking 4 years later, and about an inch above the bikini line.

pigpen

Nicki wrote: »

I'm glad that decision worked out for you both.

If my birthing partner (whoever that was) took it upon themselves to decline a c section which had been advised by a medical professional and my child was born with a preventable disability or worse stillborn, the relationship with the birthing partner would be irrevocably over.

Also, having had 2 sections, I can reassure you that unless your daughter is a fan of the Hollywood wax, her scar far from being disfiguring would not even be visible. The incision is made about 2 inches below the hair line, so would be covered by the landing strip on even a moderately waxed woman, and fades to virtually invisible anyway within about a year. (I have other keloid scars on other parts of the body which are pink and raised, but both c section scars are barely visible and are flat and white). Even if she did have a tiny scar, unless she plans to make her living as a stripper (and even then), its still a rubbish reason to put a baby's life at risk.

The baby's life WASN'T at risk.. they said so.. but they wanted to do a section BECAUSE THEATRE WAS EMPTY!!! That was made pretty clear in my post as far as I can tell.

They had had the consultant in to check 3 times and he said everything was fine.. that is NOT a reason to do a section.

MY scar is ON the hair line about 11 inches long and nasty.. some of my daughters very young friends have awful puckered scars. I guess they make a better job when you pay for the service.

Nicki

What nonsense!

An emergency c section costs the NHS over £3k to perform. A vaginal birth a tiny fraction of that. So your contention is that the NHS wanted to spend £3k unnecessarily just because one of its operating rooms was empty at the time :rotfl: :rotfl:

I am delighted that whatever they thought was the risk didn't materialise, but nothing you can say will convince me that the ONLY reason a section was suggested was because no one was using the operating room.

The doctor who did my 2 c sections also had an NHS practise by the way. Perhaps he hacked and slashed the "plebs" and did embroidery on the posh girls then

System

I think having a doula is a brilliant idea. I went through the birth of my first child alone cause my ex chose to stay outside. Thank goodness the midwives stayed with me as i was 18 and terrified!

Husbands or partners can be a huge support but although my present husband stayed with me, he was terrified too. In fact he nearly missed my youngests' birth as he was too busy throwing up. In between cracking jokes and throwing up there was me, having to reassure him when all i wanted to do was chop his ba**s off.

Person_one

Did anyone watch One Born Every Minute last week? There was a Lithuanian (I think) woman giving birth on her own. Partner had left her, best friend had declined to be birth partner and mum was hundreds of miles away.

The midwives were fantastic, they didn't leave her alone, they provided support in every way she needed it. Maybe they do 'pop in and out' when they see a supportive partner and that everybody's coping well, but they are trained to treat each woman as an individual with unique needs and to meet those needs.

I suppose in most cases it doesn't do any harm to pay someone to pretend to be your friend for a bit (although it seems a touch exploitative to me) but I worry that this is contributing to the strange idea some seem to have that the medical team are the 'enemy' and that you need to recruit allies to fight your corner in order to avoid being cut to ribbons for no reason.

The idea that a surgeon would push for a c-section just because the theatre is empty is just so completely ludicrous I don't even know what to say about it!

katgirlie

I haven't had a chance to fully read all the replies, so sorry if I'm repeating anything.

Please do think really carefully about hiring a doula. In my experience they can actually have a negative influence on the mother-midwife relationship. Their presence can be a barrier to the midwife engaging effectively with the woman. Midwives are there to support the WOMAN during the birth and to do all they can to promote safe, normal birth. I'm not saying doulas are bad, but the role they play can and should be taken by the midwife.

Yes, you may have a long labour and more than one midwife looking after you during that time, but bear in mind that a doula is only human and will suffer the same effect of being awake for 36 hours as anyone else. The reason midwives change shift is to ensure they are safe to practise.

Please try to access all the parentcraft or antenatal classes available to you. This will hopefully make you feel more prepared and less worried. If you don't have any health problems or other issues consider a birth centre or other low risk unit as the midwives there are less likely to be looking after multiple women or have to deal with as many emergencies. If you still feel you will need more support than you think the midwife would routinely offer, make sure you talk to her about it and include it in your birth plan.

Sorry this is just a really quick reply, but just wanted to reiterate that midwives aren't the heartless dragons some here are making them sound.

mountainofdebt

I'm interested to know what would happen if mum (and therefore the doula) wanted (a) to happen but for whatever reason that wasn't possible or recommended by the medical staff.

would the doula have the final say so or as she isn't technically the next of kin she would have no say in the matter?

each to her own I guess especially as they are paying for it themselves but it does seem abit hippy happy clappy to me ......no doubt in the very near future every woman will need one otherwise they will be accused of being an unfit mother - and that's even before the breast feeding police and anti going back to work brigade start