Doulas

Person_one

skintchick wrote: »

Doulas ensure your birth wishes are respected and will advocate for you should you end up in a situation where HPs are pushing for interventiosn you don't want when you are not in a position to be able to argue effectiuvely because you are in the middle of giving birth.

I don;t understand your comment to be honest. Yes, the woman is the one giving birth. What do you mean?


I'll ignore the personal dig because unless you can be bothered to explain exactly what you mean and why you think it, I can't be bothered to respond to such childishness.

Not a dig, just an observation, no need to get het up.

I don't really understand why you think you'd have to argue. Midwives etc. don't 'push for intervention' against the mother's wishes unless the intervention is necessary.

skintchick

Person_one wrote: »

Not a dig, just an observation, no need to get het up.

Yeah right. That's why you had a rolling laughing smilie. Of course.

I don't really understand why you think you'd have to argue. Midwives etc. don't 'push for intervention' against the mother's wishes unless the intervention is necessary.

Sometimes they do. Because the medical profession has lost touch with natural birth and feel intervention is necessary when very often it isn't.

I was lucky I had a midwife who didn't feel like that but others are not so lucky.

Of course, not going to hospital does help avoid the worst offenders (doctors, who by definition of what they do don;t have very much experience of physiologically normal births).

Anyway, how is this discussion helping the OP? If you feel strongly against doulas why not start your own thread to discuss that? I came on here to help the OP by sharing my experience of doulas and the reasons why I had one.

emsywoo123

Person_one wrote: »

The first bolded is just, weird. You're the one giving birth! Maybe if you hadn't had a doula you'd have a different understanding of what midwives do. (I'm not remotely surprised you had one though, if I had to name one poster on here who would...:rotfl:)

And if I had to name one poster on here who would argue......

See, there's no need!

OP I didn't have a doula for my first birth but I *did* for my second. If it is financially viable I would recommend, but take the time to choose and get to know the right one.

That said, a good doula will only have 1 mother for when she is 38-42 weeks to prevent overlap, so the good ones do get booked up early!

Person_one

skintchick wrote: »

Anyway, how is this discussion helping the OP? If you feel strongly against doulas why not start your own thread to discuss that? I came on here to help the OP by sharing my experience of doulas and the reasons why I had one.

Nothing wrong with giving a more skeptical point of view, the OP didn't ask for untempered positivity towards the idea!

Also, there's no need to take things so personally, you seem to pride yourself on your 'alternative parenting' so I don't know why you're so surprised that I'm not surprised!

Person_one

emsywoo123 wrote: »

And if I had to name one poster on here who would argue......

See, there's no need!

Ah, but I take that as a compliment!

barbiedoll

I must admit, I tend to side with Person_one on this issue. Although if you can afford a doula and you think that you will need someone to "support" you during labour, then why not?

But I think that some women do have a strange idea of what midwives do. I work with lots of midwives and I have never met one who would not support a woman's choice throughout her labour as long as her choices did not put her or her baby at risk. Midwives do support birth plans but women often have unrealistic expectations of childbirth and many have no idea what is happening to their body during labour. You can learn about what happens to your body during your baby's birth by asking your midwife or by reading a decent book (not a celebrity one!) written by someone who knows what they are talking about.

Doulas are no doubt a useful addition to your birth experience but plenty of us have managed to have a perfectly lovely, natural childbirth with just a midwife and a trembling partner on hand!
And if you want someone to do the cleaning, why not hire a cleaner?

emsywoo123

barbiedoll wrote: »

I must admit, I tend to side with Person_one on this issue. Although if you can afford a doula and you think that you will need someone to "support" you during labour, then why not?

I genuinely do not understand your stance on this then

Upsidedown_Bear

OP, you might find this useful.

http://doula.org.uk/

crvs

jackyann wrote: »

I would consider asking a sensible friend or older female relative to be there with you, but of course, they need to be the right person, and available - not always the case!

Reason , Im considering doulas because , I dont have any female friends to ask. I have a good aquitances but dont have any good friends. Furthermore , I cannot get my parents or in laws to help me out.

Vidhya

fluffnutter

I wouldn't have dreamt of having friends at my birth. Nor would I want my mother there, TBH. I had no support from my husband because he was suffering from pancreatitis at the time and just sat in the corner puking and wanting to die!

But I had midwives. Who were fantastic. I think doulas can be a lovely idea, but don't assume that you won't get support unless you have one.

I think midwives get a terrible press, personally. I know that's informed by own experience, but I still think that they have an undeserved reputation for being uncaring and uninterested in a mother's wishes.