Panic stations

bess1234_2

It's taken me all weekend to get my head round your thread, so can well understand why you are feeling overwhelmed. I also think that you can't see the wood for the trees anymore, and the more it's getting you down the harder it is to take action. You need someone to sort you a path through the trees.
Go on step change website right now, ask if there's a better one for self employed advice. If not explore their stuff.
Get booked onto doctors and get help if you need it.
Open all your letters as well as those you already have, and separate them into separate bills, then in date order. Have three sections, Yorkshire house, London living and self employment.

People are taking money off you left right and centre.
Not wishing to add to your head mash, but find out if BR is emergency tax code, ie you are being over taxed? The friend whose using your house for storage, can read your meters. If you ve tried to cancel things and been ignored then phone them and say no when they try and sell you something else. They give in quite quickly. How many insurances do you have? You must have gold plated fingernails:rotfl:

There's loads more but simple steps first makes the big stuff easier to deal with. And the good news is its all money coming back to you.
Always take proper advice, but there is light at the end of your tunnel. Take care, your health is more important than money. :D

niccatw

Hi Tom

I hope you are doing ok? I agree with Bess; you can't see the wood for the trees at the moment and all our helpful advice is just adding to it.

I was exactly the same when I started my debt free journey. I was stressed, anxious and depressed. When I finally plucked up the courage to go to the doctors, I answered their depression questionnaire in such a way that I knew wouldn't give me a diagnosis. I went back a few months later. I had never been so scared as I didn't quite know how to explain what the hell was wrong with me! That doc took one look at me and knew - she was brilliant.

And it made all the difference to keeping me focused. I'm not saying it was easy, or that I got it right all the time, but enough of the time... I learned a lot about me and what works for me and what keeps me sane - I could then apply this to debt-busting to try and keep that very fine line between living your life, paying off your debt and trying not to let it all get on top of you. Try and make sure you register with a GP as soon as! Asking for help on here and from my GP were the best two things I did on my road to sorting it all out.

You will get an overwhelming amount of advice here (as you already know). But the great thing is that it's in print. You don't need to take it all on board in one go. You can come back to again and again and again. People gave me advice on my SOA that I thought was crazy. But a couple of weeks/months/a year later, I was often ready to take it on board and try it.

You can't do everything right away. Take one thing at a time and you'll get through them. Every time you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, take a deep breath and break it down into much smaller chunks. We can't do it all right away!

BTW If you are paying for TV license in Yorkshire, just transfer to your current address; you'll then be covered in London and won't have to worry about it (or cancel it completely and go with Bedsit Bob's advice)

And most importantly; enjoy being out in the open with your friends! They really will help keep you sane!

Take care

[Deleted User]

niccatw wrote: »

(or cancel it completely and go with Bedsit Bob's advice)

I seem to be getting a reputation as a TVL Agony Aunt.

LittleMissGiggles123

What are all the insurances for? You seem to have 2 life insurance policies with HSBC, is this right? Also the 'other insurance' of £50, what is this one for?

You've also got Halifax Home Insurance listed as £56.98 & then Buildings insurance for the same amount. Is this correct?

LittleMissGiggles123

Sorry, just one more quesrion. You have mobile phone listed for £36.40 & then another payment listed to Vodafone for £38?

Just checking you havent doubled up any payments on your SOA

40+

Right I will try and give answers to all the questions Yesterday started off ok but soon disappeared into fog.. but things are getting a bit better.. I have decided to take today off as I need to do 2 things that will help me start this road to recovery. 1) Ring Stepline 2) Go to Docs

bess1234 wrote: »

It's taken me all weekend to get my head round your thread, so can well understand why you are feeling overwhelmed. I also think that you can't see the wood for the trees anymore, and the more it's getting you down the harder it is to take action. You need someone to sort you a path through the trees.
Go on step change website right now, ask if there's a better one for self employed advice. If not explore their stuff.
Get booked onto doctors and get help if you need it.
Open all your letters as well as those you already have, and separate them into separate bills, then in date order. Have three sections, Yorkshire house, London living and self employment.

People are taking money off you left right and centre.
Not wishing to add to your head mash, but find out if BR is emergency tax code, ie you are being over taxed? The friend whose using your house for storage, can read your meters. If you ve tried to cancel things and been ignored then phone them and say no when they try and sell you something else. They give in quite quickly. How many insurances do you have? You must have gold plated fingernails

There's loads more but simple steps first makes the big stuff easier to deal with. And the good news is its all money coming back to you.
Always take proper advice, but there is light at the end of your tunnel. Take care, your health is more important than money.

bess1234, thank you for taking the time to reply to me, just having people respond to this has been the biggest step forward and the friend who recommended this site may well have been a life saver.. sorry to be dramatic, but I really hadn't realise how bad things had got, but I'm on the road to recovery Just mailed my friend for meter readings

Just to answer a couple of your points, I am paid through an umbrella company so technically I am there employee (I think) so I don't do my own accounts and they take care of taxes etc.

Gold plated fingernails Yes I do feel somewhat guilty as I know I am on paper not too badly off where as there are many people really struggling but.... once I am on my feet again I am going to look at how I can help more. And yes it does seem as the light at end of tunnel is not an on coming express!!

niccatw wrote: »

Hi Tom

I hope you are doing ok? I agree with Bess; you can't see the wood for the trees at the moment and all our helpful advice is just adding to it.

Thanks niccatw. I slept a bit better last night must be the country air! I think this has been a long road that I can't quite place where the depression started but has ended up where I am today. Pink Fllyoyd's Comfortably Numb springs to mind. I am not sure what you mean about filing in form, and and am somewhat terrified at going to see docs and telling them I feel this way. I have (touch wood) hardly been to the docs in my life, apart from a verooka, which my mum decided needed to be burnt out! apparently cleared the surgery with my screams :rotfl: and bit of ear wax and I guess I feel the stigma of admitting I'm not able to 'get on top of this' I haven't told my family as I was always the steady one, sensible, rock, salt of the earth etc.. and also we don't talk about these things as a family. My parents are very much from the war generation of either grin and bear/just get on/stop complaining. But need to sort this out as life seeming a bit pointless at the moment..

LittleMissGiggles123 wrote: »

What are all the insurances for? You seem to have 2 life insurance policies with HSBC, is this right? Also the 'other insurance' of £50, what is this one for?

You've also got Halifax Home Insurance listed as £56.98 & then Buildings insurance for the same amount. Is this correct?

Hi LittleMissGiggles123, In all honesty I can't remember they were set up when I brought the house, one is life cover but I need to find out what the others are.. The 'Other' is income protection, and need to bin it as don't think they pay out as reading around seems they are pretty worthless. Oops yes made an error with buidings insurance! will edit

LittleMissGiggles123 wrote: »

Sorry, just one more quesrion. You have mobile phone listed for £36.40 & then another payment listed to Vodafone for £38?

Just checking you havent doubled up any payments on your SOA

Yes Vodaphone, has been a long running dd that I tried to cancel and they just keep taking the money.. I wasn't sure how to stop as they said I couldn't just cancel dd and had to give them written notice.. but when I did they didn't cancel it. Been running for years but haven't known what to do with it.. The other mobile is for my 02 which I am currently using, well will be when I can pay the bill.

Ok, time to get up, cuppa tea and face the day
Wish you all a happy one.
Tom

gemini12

Hope the day is not a grey one and I dont mean the weather. Good luck for the Dr.

40+

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

I don't suppose your company has a branch in the NW?

If yes, any chance of a transfer?

Any chance of a new job, in the NW?

Hi Bob, no, no chance.. its the 'streets' of London for me

40+

Ok, have called step change and have an appointment on Wed, just have to collect more info before hand, feeling bit shell shocked.. but the ball is now rolling!! Breakfast and then off to docs and open bank account and its sunny outside..
Tom

bess1234_2

hi

was worried i'd scared you off, with the yorkshire bluntness. Have a good day.

And don't misunderstand my gold plated fingernails comment. Unless they are gold plated, you sound very over insured. It did sound like you have taken lot of insurances out because someone told you to. one day when you have less to unravel, you should check for mis selling compensation claims.

but until you get your head stronger it will be hard, so docs first. i like the comment above about writing down everyones suggestions to investigate when the time is right.

Vodaphone- ring say you gave written notice on such a date and you want all your money back since then. might work, might not, but it is their mistake. Might get you a bit. Or at least stopping now.

the grin and bear it generation, are also very good at rolling up their sleeves and getting stuck in to clean your house ready for sale/letting. Especially if combined with a weekend return of the prodigal son, who they can tell off the whole time.:rotfl:especially as they've been telling you its a millstone for years, so they were right all along:rotfl:I can imagine the whole thing! Maybe one for when your feeling a bit stronger ha ha.

but have a good day, tis the most important thing.