Does the husband in your house pay the bills?

Mojisola

Gloomendoom wrote: »

We do have separate saving accounts in the form of ISAs because, as far as I am aware, they can only be opened by an individual. It's 'our' money in them though, no matter who's name the account is in.

That's what we do. There are some savings that have to be in one name but it is still joint money.

JethroUK

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Are you sure? If you have been married for any length of time, who actually paid for what and how much, becomes irrelevant.

Until you come to dividing it up

Divorce lawyers make a living out of couples who lose sight of their own finances

Bank accounts are free so there is really no excuse to lose track which is this whole topic of discussion

Gloomendoom

JethroUK wrote: »

Until you come to dividing it up

Divorce lawyers make a living out of couples who lose sight of their own finances

Bank accounts are free so there is really no excuse to lose track

Just because you keep all 'your' money in a separate bank account doesn't mean that you will be able to keep it.

Torry_Quine

We have never had a joint account and my husband says with his attitude to money that's a good thing! Some things are in his name and some in mine. Both have savings accounts in our own name but we consider all money is ours. I think that if it works for you then fine.

lady1964

Mojisola wrote: »

We've never worked this way. Since we got married, it doesn't matter who earned the money - it was family money. I don't think I would have stayed with my OH if he had been putting "his" money into "his" savings accounts. I certainly wouldn't have behaved like that when I earned more than him!

What is left after all the necessary bills are paid is "our" money.

He didn't put 'his' money into 'his' account when he was the only one working, he put the money he went out & earned into our joint account. I had a cheque book (can't remember if debit cards/cash point cards were around 20 odd years ago!) and I could take what I needed from our account. I just didn't have my own named account then or a credit card, no need for one back then.

We discussed what we would spend on things jointly, he didn't make all the decisions just because he went out & earned, I did just as important a job as him, the difference was I didn't bring home a salary.

I really appreciate having some money to call my own. I can buy his birthday/Xmas gifts out of what I've earned and he has no idea how much I've spent or where I've got it from. Equally he does the same.

I have never considered leaving him because we do things that work for us....I guess that's where people are different. We're happy with the way we do things and it works very well for us.

It was never a case of 'behaving in a certain way' with us, it's not as if one of us is unhappy with how our finances are managed, if one of us were to become unhappy with it, we'd say so and discuss.

podperson

berbastrike wrote: »

The message I've learned from the thread is that women would rather half the bills than the man pay them all.

Obviously, all women are different, but I would think the majority see a marriage/relationship as a partnership - and therefore want their OH to see them as a partner and an equal, not someone who has to be supported or who can't contribute in their own right.
At the moment I earn more then my OH so I pay most of the bills, he will be qualified this year and hopefully start earning better amounts so will contribute more. I won't deny that it will be nice to have a bit more cash spare to spend on personal stuff, but even if he starts earning a lot more then me then I'll still contribute to the bills - I would feel strange not doing.

claire16c

balletshoes wrote: »

my sister and BIL, and my OH and I, have roughly the same system, as in both our marriages, each partner works, and each partner has different ideas on what they want to spend the money on . So we have one account where both put enough money and a bit left over for all the household bills (including the car bills as we only have one of those, and kids clothes, school expenses etc), then each of us has our own account with our own spending money in, to do with as we wish ie save/spend etc.

In effect that's how it works with our joint account.

We pay the bills, put savings away, and then anything left is for spending. I don't see the need to split it into two accounts to do that?

cgk1

We have separate accounts but spilt expenditure 50/50 (we earn about the same). We then have a 'slush fund' which we pay £100 each a month into that we use for emergencies like the washing machine breaking and then individual savings accounts.

lady1964

claire16c wrote: »

In effect that's how it works with our joint account.

We pay the bills, put savings away, and then anything left is for spending. I don't see the need to split it into two accounts to do that?

We have 'seperate' savings accounts but when we look at our overall savings, it's our savings combined together which gives us our total sum.

We keep the 'seperate' accounts for personal spends, I like to keep mine so that when I buy gifts for DH, he doesn't know what I've spent or where I've spent it. I do have to be a bit creative at times as we have online access to all our accounts, so I usually spend on my cc, which he doesn't have a joint card for, then pay it off using 'my' savings account.

What works for one doesn't work for everyone....

Mojisola

claire16c wrote: »

In effect that's how it works with our joint account.

We pay the bills, put savings away, and then anything left is for spending. I don't see the need to split it into two accounts to do that?

Some people like to have some savings in separate accounts so that they can buy presents, etc, without the other knowing how much has been spent.

lady1964 wrote: »

He didn't put 'his' money into 'his' account when he was the only one working, he put the money he went out & earned into our joint account. I had a cheque book (can't remember if debit cards/cash point cards were around 20 odd years ago!) and I could take what I needed from our account. I just didn't have my own named account then or a credit card, no need for one back then.

We discussed what we would spend on things jointly, he didn't make all the decisions just because he went out & earned, I did just as important a job as him, the difference was I didn't bring home a salary.

I really appreciate having some money to call my own. I can buy his birthday/Xmas gifts out of what I've earned and he has no idea how much I've spent or where I've got it from. Equally he does the same.

That's where we differ - I had money I could call my own even if it had been earned by him.