Does the husband in your house pay the bills?

threemuttleys

Mojisola wrote: »

Weird? If so, we must be too. That seems perfectly normal to me.

Not answering that one! :beer:

Peater

The male provider stereotype is so archaic.

So much so, that i insist that any female partner of mine pays for everything.

Just doing my bit to redress the inequality.

twigglet35

my setup is strange
I pay for all bills in the house the money my son gives me gos on food for me and him.
My bf pays for his food and thats it.
Long and short share all bills together u live together.
I have done things all wrong

As the old saying gos Start as you mean to go on

margaretclare

LannieDuck wrote: »

I'd rather be financially independent. Why would I want a man to pay my share of the bills for me when I'm capable of doing it myself? I'm not a child who needs to be looked after. My husband and I are equal partners in our relationship.

Absolutely. How could it be otherwise?

DH and I each get our own pensions income and we pay into a separate joint account which we use for household bills, utilities, insurances etc. We share the food money equally.

He was a bit resistant to the idea of a joint account at first, because of past history. His ex had taken the view that what was his was hers, even writing cheques on their joint account when it was overdrawn, to pay for another rescued cat. This was days before he left!

I'd just witnessed a very distressing case at the CAB where I used to volunteer. A woman had been widowed, husband had paid all bills, she had no idea about any financial matters, didn't know where the insurance papers were kept, and until his estate had gone through probate she couldn't pay the electricity bill. I persuaded DH that a joint account just kept for essential bills would save a lot of stress and hassle if/when the worst happens. There's no cheque-book or cash card on that account and it has worked well these 10 years or so.

mumps

We don't really have a system. I pay some bills and he pays some, it is just chance who set the direct debit up for what. What we have left at the end of the month gets saved or spent, we discuss major spends but have never felt the need to make sure that it is "fair" if I pay the council tax and water and he pays gas and electric. Maybe we are a bit relaxed about money but it has worked for us for many years (more than I care to remember)

Hermia

sillygoose wrote: »

I love these discussions, peoples finances get sooo complicated! ratios of bills, accounts for this and that, yours, mine...

We are one couple, we have one account, 2 wages paid in, bills paid by direct debits, I need something I buy it, she needs something she buys it. Kids need something either buys it and we managed to do this 20 years without earning a fortune or going broke...

we do talk to each other though - 'kids will need new shoes soon love, better get them now as next month will be expensive as car insurance/tax is due - ok' you know that sort of thing. Did it go out of fashion?

I think that works if you both have similar attitudes to money and were both in a similar position when you got together. You only have to look at the debt board to see that some people need to keep things separate from their partner! My friend had £30k when she married and her husband had nothing. She put the money in a joint account. During their three year marriage he spent all her money. He didn't steal it in one go, but he was so bad with money he just frittered it away on little things.

sillygoose

Hermia wrote: »

I think that works if you both have similar attitudes to money and were both in a similar position when you got together. You only have to look at the debt board to see that some people need to keep things separate from their partner! My friend had £30k when she married and her husband had nothing. She put the money in a joint account. During their three year marriage he spent all her money. He didn't steal it in one go, but he was so bad with money he just frittered it away on little things.

Yes I do understand that sort of thing can happen, but to me that's not what marriage is about, if someone does that to you there is far more fundamentally wrong in the relationship than who pays which bill! A couple that can't trust each other implicitly in every way really perhaps shouldn't even be living together let alone up the isle to me...
I apreciate some people may find out too late, but there is a lot to be said for getting to know someone a long time before, bring back dating!

I know 'perfect' in every way is hard to find these days, it just saddens me a bit that people are in relationships hopefully based on love but treating each other like a paying lodger who may abscond with the valuables any moment.

For the record, my wife could spend our £30,000 and I wouldn't love her less, we would just starve together!

Gloomendoom

mumps wrote: »

We don't really have a system. I pay some bills and he pays some, it is just chance who set the direct debit up for what. What we have left at the end of the month gets saved or spent, we discuss major spends but have never felt the need to make sure that it is "fair" if I pay the council tax and water and he pays gas and electric. Maybe we are a bit relaxed about money but it has worked for us for many years (more than I care to remember)

That's exactly how we are. It works for us too. As it happens, I pay for pretty much everything because I lived in the house on my own before we were married and my wife moved in, so all the bills are in my name.

dizziblonde

We used to do it so that we'd added up all the outgoings and split the direct debits about 50/50 across both our accounts - so while I might have had the rent and council tax - he might have the utilities, Sky etc till it balanced out. When we married we moved to a joint account and now I don't work and he does since I'm at home with the kids.

Paddles

I earn more than my hubs and, who has a variable income from week to week. Therefore all the bills are paid from my account (I consider it all our money anyway) and his is used to pick up any slack or pay any extra into savings. It really is all our money, but I am the one who looks after all the money stuff because I enjoy it :-)