Does the husband in your house pay the bills?

Goldiegirl

We have a joint account, and all our money goes into that joint account. We've never classed it as 'his' money and 'her' money, it's our money.

All the bills are paid from that account.

I am the one who does the physical paying of the bills.

We are a team, and within a team it makes sense to the members of the team to play to their strengths. I've always worked in the financial world, so finance is my area. I don't understand why I'd want my husband to 'pay the bills', when I have more expertise in this area.

However, we discuss expenditure together. All investments, holidays and 'pretty little things' come from our joint income.

pollypenny

Always had a joint account and budget together. For most of our marriage, up until younger child left uni, we had to count every penny and juggle finances.

OP sounds like the sort of guy you bump into while shopping, who says 'Spending his money again?'

Grrrr!

lady1964

Going against the common theme here but my DH pays all the bills, he always has done - 26 years together - and I currently see no reason for this to change.

He has always earned far, far more than me, about 4 x as much, I was a SAHM for 14 years, so I had no income during that time (apart from CB which was always spent on our kids clothes/shoes etc). When I went back to work, he encouraged me to save as much of my salary as I could as I had never had savings I could call my own.

Out of my salary, I pay for my car, petrol, phone, spends, lunch, nights out with friends, dinner out for us both monthly, take-aways, gifts for him, birthday presents for family, top up groceries when needed, hairdressers etc.

I pay into our holiday savings account and our Xmas savings account and add into my savings pot each month. We've agreed we'll use 'my money' for large household items when we've needed them.

Our outgoing for our home are fairly low, we paid off our mortgage in 2011, he still pays out more per month than I do but we have the buffer of both our savings accounts should they be needed. We do have a joint account which we can both access, within that account are 'pots' which are named 'his', 'mine' and the holiday & xmas pots.

This has always worked for us, there's no issue of who has more - he actually has a lot more in savings than I do - but we consider this money our money. We discuss how much we'll spend on a holiday or household item/car etc and agree an amount regardless of where the money is coming from.

I don't feel less independant because we do things this way, it has always felt like a partnership to both of us because we communicate well about finances.

JethroUK

Pennysmakepounds wrote: »

..... it still amazes me that 'Married' couples still see money as his mine.

Your sharing your life with the person you love...(Well I'm assumin you love them...lol)....

Isn't love wonderful thing

but reality is that 66% of couples will end up parting company and divorce lawyers get fat on people like you who haven't got a clue who paid/owes/owns what, so will have to pay fat salaries to solicitors to divide it alllllllll up for them

you'll read most posters/couples have both personal money and joint money

makes it very easy to figure out who owns what and shared assets and personal assets - so no need to pay someone else to figure it out if the need arises

JethroUK

burnoutbabe wrote: »

well he gets to live rent free and can save the money towards a future joint house purchase.

Would charging him rent (when my mortgage is paid off) be fairer?

If 'a partner' is contributing to the mortgage then they should benefit from the increasing asset

It suits you to consider your partners contribution as 'rent' instead - I wont argue if hes happy with that - also suit a very short term situation

Just saying I would not recommend anyone else do it (man or woman) in long term relationship (married or otherwise)

burnoutbabe

But he isn't contributing towards it at all. Pays no rent, pays nothing towards the mortgage - just the share of the elec bills and council tax. As i said, the mortgage is paid off so it doesn't seem fair to charge him anything and "make a profit" out of him.

Mojisola

lady1964 wrote: »

Going against the common theme here but my DH pays all the bills, he always has done - 26 years together - and I currently see no reason for this to change.

He has always earned far, far more than me, about 4 x as much, I was a SAHM for 14 years, so I had no income during that time (apart from CB which was always spent on our kids clothes/shoes etc). When I went back to work, he encouraged me to save as much of my salary as I could as I had never had savings I could call my own.

We've never worked this way. Since we got married, it doesn't matter who earned the money - it was family money. I don't think I would have stayed with my OH if he had been putting "his" money into "his" savings accounts. I certainly wouldn't have behaved like that when I earned more than him!

What is left after all the necessary bills are paid is "our" money.

Tiglath

JethroUK wrote: »

Why - you both eat food, and you both travel in the car

just a case of co-mingling more money for food and fuel

Oh it does even out - we tally all income and outgoings in the budget (including groceries + car costs), divide it in half and DH transfers a set amount to me on payday, leaving us both with equal spare money. So it is all joint and co-mingled. I do the grocery shopping so it makes sense for that to come out of my account, and I don't drive so he pays for the petrol etc out of his account, but it does work out evenly. Neither of us is disadvantaged

Gloomendoom

Mojisola wrote: »

We've never worked this way. Since we got married, it doesn't matter who earned the money - it was family money. I don't think I would have stayed with my OH if he had been putting "his" money into "his" savings accounts. I certainly wouldn't have behaved like that when I earned more than him!

What is left after all the necessary bills are paid is "our" money.

This how we look at it. There is no need to make sure everything is evenly divided up if it all belongs to both of you.

We do have separate saving accounts in the form of ISAs because, as far as I am aware, they can only be opened by an individual. It's 'our' money in them though, no matter who's name the account is in.

If we were not married we may have a different outlook.

Gloomendoom

JethroUK wrote: »

Isn't love wonderful thing

but reality is that 66% of couples will end up parting company and divorce lawyers get fat on people like you who haven't got a clue who paid/owes/owns what, so will have to pay fat salaries to solicitors to divide it alllllllll up for them

you'll read most posters/couples have both personal money and joint money

makes it very easy to figure out who owns what and shared assets and personal assets - so no need to pay someone else to figure it out if the need arises

Are you sure? If you have been married for any length of time, who actually paid for what and how much, becomes irrelevant.