Social services onto me about not having child in nursery! Advice needed

shirlgirl2004

bagpuss38 wrote: »

Ok i ill concede the point that she may not have said anyone who sends their child to nursery doesn't give a damn.
She does though infer that those with "loving parents" can gain more being at home educationally and SOCIALLY.
So are we to surmise that if you send your child to nursery instead of keeping them at home you are not loving?

Please don't extrapolate information, stick to what was stated in my post because you're likely to be wrong.

I have stated that I believe children with loving parents can gain more socially and educationally because I believe it to be true. I have seen enough teenagers that have been to school and also plenty that have been home educated to know which are the ones that, for the most part, grunt at you and the ones that treat you as an equal and can hold a really interesting conversation. As backed up by universities that welcome home educated children because of the social and academic skills that they have.

princessdon wrote: »

It's always a personal choice for parents, but I have seen very few in my professional life that don't gain from nursery. Home can offer a lot if not all, but their are somethings like indpendance and "fighting your corner" that nursery can teach.

As an adult I would never "fight my corner" in the way a 3 year old would. I would use negotiation and persuasion not fisty cuffs. If nursery worked there wouldn't be bullying in schools.

There is no reason for a 3 year old to be independent. Why the hurry for children to grow up?

msb5262

This is a very simple issue.

1. Society as a whole has a responsibility to keep children safe.
Agreed?

2. A tiny percentage of parents don't care for their children in an appropriate way - this is how cases of neglect and abuse occur. Agreed?

3. The best way to ensure the wellbeing of all children is to make sure they are seen by professionals outside the family circle regularly. Not frequently, but regularly.
Agreed?

4. The easiest and probably most economically effective way for children to be seen by professionals is for pre-school children to be seen occasionally by the health visitor, and for children of school age to be within the education system.
Agreed?

Being part of the education system/being seen by the health visitor may not be what all parents choose for their children, so Children's Services might need to be involved just to keep an eye on the children's welfare.

THIS IS NOT A CRITICISM OF THE FAMILIES INVOLVED!!
It's merely the way the system operates in an attempt to check on all children and keep them safe. It's very sad to think that sometimes parents don't care about their children, but it is indisputably true. In order to protect a few children who are at risk, the state wants to check on every child. To me, this is reasonable. Wanting children checked isn't an accusation or an example of the nanny state - it's just the best (only?) way to ensure the safety and wellbeing of children.

bagpuss38

I would like to know how a child that is home schooled could gain more socially?
Are they then to work from home too?

shirlgirl2004

bagpuss38 wrote: »

I would like to know how a child that is home schooled could gain more socially?
Are they then to work from home too?

I think your statement works on the premise that home educated children spend lots of time at home when this is usually a long way from the truth.

My home educated children are out every weekday meeting different people. Mixing with adults and children of all ages. They talk to people with mental and physical disabilities because we visit a nursing home twice a week. They help younger children with tasks and older children help them. They learn to work with people who are both more and less able in every sense of the word. That is real life and that is the way I'd like my children to grow up. They don't need to know about foul language and bulling.

onlyroz

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

Yes nurseries can be great places for those children who are in families with "don't give a damn" parents but those with loving parents can gain more by being at home both educationally and scoially.

I find comments like this deeply offensive. Nursery is not just about convenience for the parents. It is much more about giving your child the opportunity for valuable interactions with children the same age.

There is a boy in my son's class at school who has a little brother the same age as my daughter (they are both 4, without any developmental issues). The boy's mother has often declared to me that her child is "not ready" for nursery - she still pushes him round in a buggy with a huge dummy shoved in his gob, and wraps him up in blankets like a newborn. I am quite convinced that this little boy will also be "not ready" for school come september because he's never been given the opportunity to "get ready" as his mum continues to treat him like a baby.

johnnyl

msb5262 wrote: »

This is a very simple issue.

1. Society as a whole has a responsibility to keep children safe.
Agreed?

2. A tiny percentage of parents don't care for their children in an appropriate way - this is how cases of neglect and abuse occur. Agreed?

3. The best way to ensure the wellbeing of all children is to make sure they are seen by professionals outside the family circle regularly. Not frequently, but regularly.

no, I dont agree.

Nor do those who have been victims of the negligence of proffesionals and punished for things that they have not done due to the systems at the time that were wrong. Systems that people like yourself would swear blind are sound and can not be wrong because they are the "authorities" So no, nanny does not know best

Nicki

Because there is no foul language or bullying in adult life?

The biggest thing home educated children miss out on IMO is being able to thrive in a large group without adult supervision, and the opportunity to choose for themselves from a wide pool of candidates who to befriend and who can and cannot be trusted.

Living your entire childhood and adolescence in an environment so tightly controlled by a parent does not fit most people for adult life. The only people I know (both children and adults) who have been wholly or predominantly home schooled are all fairly naive individuals and in some cases quite socially odd.

That being said I don't consider that parents who decide to home school don't give a damn about their kids or that it isn't a good choice for a loving parent.

msb5262

johnnyl wrote: »

no, I dont agree.

Nor do those who have been victims of the negligence of proffesionals and punished for things that they have not done due to the systems at the time that were wrong. Systems that people like yourself would swear blind are sound and can not be wrong because they are the "authorities" So no, nanny does not know best

Are you really suggesting that society does not have a responsibility to keep children safe?

shirlgirl2004

onlyroz wrote: »

I find comments like this deeply offensive. Nursery is not just about convenience for the parents. It is much more about giving your child the opportunity for valuable interactions with children the same age.

There is a boy in my son's class at school who has a little brother the same age as my daughter (they are both 4, without any developmental issues). The boy's mother has often declared to me that her child is "not ready" for nursery - she still pushes him round in a buggy with a huge dummy shoved in his gob, and wraps him up in blankets like a newborn. I am quite convinced that this little boy will also be "not ready" for school come september because he's never been given the opportunity to "get ready" as his mum continues to treat him like a baby.

It's not a course I would take for my child but when he's 18 will anyone know? Does is really matter except to the judgemental few?

bagpuss38

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

I think your statement works on the premise that home educated children spend lots of time at home when this is usually a long way from the truth.

My home educated children are out every weekday meeting different people. Mixing with adults and children of all ages. They talk to people with mental and physical disabilities because we visit a nursing home twice a week. They help younger children with tasks and older children help them. They learn to work with people who are both more and less able in every sense of the word. That is real life and that is the way I'd like my children to grow up. They don't need to know about foul language and bulling.

This might be the case, but they are with you.

Doing the things you want them to do. that doesn't show any initiative.