Social services onto me about not having child in nursery! Advice needed

princessdon

My eldest never went to nursery (well she did but due to health reasons) was there only 10% of the time as spent most of it in hospital. My middle one was a young one (August birthday) and I didn't feel he was ready for state nursery so kept him in Private nursery - but this was also for convenience.

My youngest is a Sept birthday and so was 4 when went to nursery and 5 when went to school, he was ready way before this.

It's always a personal choice for parents, but I have seen very few in my professional life that don't gain from nursery. Home can offer a lot if not all, but their are somethings like indpendance and "fighting your corner" that nursery can teach.

geri1965_2

notanewuser wrote: »

RE preschool/nursery - assuming you were born in 1965 you are 12 years older than me. My nursery teacher at age 3 was in her 50s and had been teaching at the nursery for over 20 years (so since 1960 at least).

What has that got to do with my experience? We did not have a pre-school/nursery in my village, the fact that you had one or knew of others in the 1960s does not negate my point.

princessdon

johnnyl wrote: »

not so, I have formed my opinion on the information that is available.My view is that if the information is correct then the decision to refer is wrong.

Other people have taken exactly the same information, an think that the right decision has been made. It is this view that I am challenging. I havent at all said that that there may not be more to it. What I have said is that I do not agree with those that think opting out of nursery and a visit from a HV = suspicious. It isnt at all.

There is clear guidance that if NO outside agencies are involved then a referral should be considered. The HV should have spoken to OP prior to making the call, but they followed guidance to refer if no outside agency. It's because that child could be unseen for a long period of time, it is a risk to the child and as such needs consideration.

bagpuss38

princessdon wrote: »

My eldest never went to nursery (well she did but due to health reasons) was there only 10% of the time as spent most of it in hospital. My middle one was a young one (August birthday) and I didn't feel he was ready for state nursery so kept him in Private nursery - but this was also for convenience.

My youngest is a Sept birthday and so was 4 when went to nursery and 5 when went to school, he was ready way before this.

It's always a personal choice for parents, but I have seen very few in my professional life that don't gain from nursery. Home can offer a lot if not all, but their are somethings like indpendance and "fighting your corner" that nursery can teach.

:T well said.

lindsaygalaxy

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

And you can often tell tell the children who have been to school and the ones that haven't and I know which I prefer! We teach our children from the day they're born we don't need to hand our children over at the age of 3 for someone else to tale over the role. The OP has never said she intends to send her child to school. Why should she? She doesn't have to. The law requires education not school for children.

Having said all of that I query why the HV was visiting at 7 weeks unless there's a problem.

I'm not saying that, there are lots of good parents out there that take their children to parent toddler groups to mix/ learn social skills and teach them things at home, but there are also a lot that don't!

miduck

johnnyl wrote: »

not so, I have formed my opinion on the information that is available.My view is that if the information is correct then the decision to refer is wrong.

Other people have taken exactly the same information, an think that the right decision has been made. It is this view that I am challenging. I havent at all said that that there may not be more to it. What I have said is that I do not agree with those that think opting out of nursery and a visit from a HV = suspicious. It isnt at all.

Why have you selectively edited my post - are you unwilling to answer the rest of it? Do you think it is ok to allow concerns to be ignored until a child is displaying visible signs of harm?

bestpud

Have we really reached the point where the majority of people think it necessary to refer a family on the information given by the OP? :eek:

Crikey, we're well on the way to being a nation of drones!

There may be more to the story, of course, but people on here are advocating a referral based on the OP saying she doesn't want to see a health visitor or send her other child to nursery!

Get a grip for goodness sake! I'm speechless (and that doesn't happen often!)

johnnyl

miduck wrote: »

Why have you selectively edited my post - are you unwilling to answer the rest of it? Do you think it is ok to allow concerns to be ignored until a child is displaying visible signs of harm?

Ive addressed the bit that matters.

The latter is a moot point otherwise we would inspect every kid just in case they were being abused. Do we do that? No
Why? because it takes up resource. So we have to do it on the basis of information and evidence. If your standard of proof is opting out of an optional thing then so be it. Mine isnt.

SunFlower73

I had issues with my health visitor being unhappy that I was not sending my child to nursery as well, she was also very pushy regarding schooling (my children are home schooled) and we had a visit off social services as she was "concerned home schooling would damage my children"!

Social services spoke to my children, asked to see samples of work and had a nose around the house, apologised and left, they must take reports seriously and it's not personal.

All I can recommend is you take the same approach I did, allow social services to visit, then ask them for a copy of their report. If it shows everything is fine and there are no problems file it away and don't worry any more. If they feel there is a problem ask them to explain to you what the problem is and how it can be rectified.

nickyhutch

johnnyl wrote: »

not so, I have formed my opinion on the information that is available.My view is that if the information is correct then the decision to refer is wrong.

Other people have taken exactly the same information, an think that the right decision has been made. It is this view that I am challenging. I havent at all said that that there may not be more to it. What I have said is that I do not agree with those that think opting out of nursery and a visit from a HV = suspicious. It isnt at all.

To you, maybe not. To the (trained, professional) HV, it is; it can be a sign (NOT saying it is in the OP's case) of abuse or neglect in that the parent is making sure the children aren't seen.