mum not letting me move back in..

FBaby

What I don't understand why you would resent her for changing her mind for the fact she has a partner. Before she would have welcome the company now she wants to enjoy her new relationship. She is entitled to do that. You are grown up and she doesn't have to make sacrifices as a mum any longer. You were not forced to move in with her when she was lonely, she didn't forbid you moving out when you did. Now it it's her turn to make decisions that suit her needs. Of course it would be different if you were in trouble or real need but it is not the case. Moving in would only mean you repay your loan sooner.

HoneyAndLemon

thorsoak wrote: »

HoneyAndLemon wrote: »

Now you ARE sounding like a spoiled brat! It is none of your business if your mother is in debt - she is at least in work and earning enough to repay it. I think that you are jealous of the fact that she can go on holiday and you cannot.

I suggest that you wind in your resentment - find your own rented accommodation and let your mother lead her own life.

You did see the bit where I said her debt is £30k right? She CANT afford holidays hence why she borrows all the time. And it is my business when shes constantly asking ME for help but god forbid I should ask for any.

victory

HoneyAndLemon wrote: »

Eh feeding the cat is one example. And when it takes 40 mins by car each time I go up, eating up petrol, and its at least twice a week its quite a lot. She also orders food deliveries from Tescos etc, knowing she'll be at his, and goes ahead with the order, then asks me to be there, without even checking with me first. The list goes on with other stuff too but its all the time. As I said before, I never say no so probably my own fault too. The one time I said no to giving her a lift somewhere at the last minute because I was busy she didnt talk to me for a week.

You keep mentioning what you do for your mum, you say you resent it, don't do it. Cut back, step away, you really are not making yourself happy by trying to do this and that then having huge resentment/ issues over it.

It is clearly making you angry and unhappy

HoneyAndLemon

victory wrote: »

HoneyAndLemon wrote: »

And yet you call her your best friend?:eek:

I know Im painting a bad picture, but it was just the 2 of us for years and we honestly have a great relationship in other ways. We find each other hilarious in some ways. And I honest to god have cried for her sometimes thinking about her being on her own in that house because she deserves happiness. But I've been her rock for so long but now she has him for that and Im happy for her, but now I need her and she isnt there for me.

nickj_2

HoneyAndLemon wrote: »

Eh feeding the cat is one example. And when it takes 40 mins by car each time I go up, eating up petrol, and its at least twice a week its quite a lot. She also orders food deliveries from Tescos etc, knowing she'll be at his, and goes ahead with the order, then asks me to be there, without even checking with me first. The list goes on with other stuff too but its all the time. As I said before, I never say no so probably my own fault too. The one time I said no to giving her a lift somewhere at the last minute because I was busy she didnt talk to me for a week.

just tell her that you can't afford to do it ,
i do think you might have to ask her for a heart to heart and clear the air , but i still think you will be better making your own way

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

That's a point. You were already struggling just a few months or so after moving out, yet you got pregnant?

It's not a tactful way of saying it. But it would have been a crisis, as you weren't in a secure enough position to be having a child at the time. You still aren't now - you're not married, you're in debt, you want to go back under her roof.

Stand on your own two feet. She's had to - and beg, borrow and scrounge off everybody in order to do so. And after all, she has worked - not gone on benefits for the entire time. So everything you had, she either worked or grovelled for. Which is more than a lot of women would do.


You don't NEED her. It would be convenient for you if she were to bail you out. That's a completely different thing.

CH27

If you are serious about marrying your OH & having a baby you need to stand on your own two feet & get yourself sorted.
Nobody else can sort you out.

HoneyAndLemon

It obviously wasn't planned. And clearly it wasn't meant to be.

365days

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

That's a point. You were already struggling just a few months or so after moving out, yet you got pregnant?

It's not a tactful way of saying it. But it would have been a crisis, as you weren't in a secure enough position to be having a child at the time. You still aren't now - you're not married, you're in debt, you want to go back under her roof.

Stand on your own two feet. She's had to - and beg, borrow and scrounge off everybody in order to do so. And after all, she has worked - not gone on benefits for the entire time. So everything you had, she either worked or grovelled for. Which is more than a lot of women would do.


You don't NEED her. It would be convenient for you if she were to bail you out. That's a completely different thing.

Noted ; unmarried, in debt women mustn't get pregnant.:eek:

2013 not 1953

HoneyAndLemon

Im trying to get us sorted out, which is why I asked her. She always said we could so I didnt think it'd be an issue. Its not the end of the world that we cant move back in, as I said we've done a budget, it just would have helped.