Found out I have a step daughter!!

19lottie82

I've seen this before. I think it has something to do with having 2 Ids and one being "remembered" on one Internet device and one on another

HeadAboveWater

19lottie82 wrote: »

Man alive, that sounds exactly like my OH's ex wife!

Mine too! Think they're all the same! :rotfl:

Glitter_girl wrote: »

Well she had calmed down a bit when he got home. She came in and ended up crying her eyes out to him. I left them alone but he said afterwards she is scared she will loose her daughter. He did his best to reassure her she won't.

Called my step daughter and she came over too and the 3 of them talked for a while.

It will take her time to adjust. The emotions fuelled by alcohol can unfortunately stir things up from time to time.

I met OHs ex twice before I met him and we got on really well. She even texted one of her daughters and said to wish me a happy new year from her But yet when she's been drunk the girls have been told to go to 'their other mother'

The girls know I'm not there to take the place of their mum. They have one already, regardless of how their relationship actually is with her. Their mum knows that too, although seems to forget when she's drunk.

Dh said it was really weird. It was weird for me too, I guess I felt excluded a bit by part of his life I'm not a part of.

That's hard
I like to know what's going on between the girls and their mum, even though it's got nothing to do with me directly. It's the emotional hurt and after effects that involve me. It's finding the in-between ground: I will always be there for the girls, and try to give them the love and support that they deserve, but not by taking their mums place.

NAR

glitter_fairy I think it is wonderful that you are building a relationship with (this girl) your SD. I think it is great that she wants to be "friends" with you. My daughter (who is 24) has built a wonderful relationship with my second wife over the last 4 years and they both find it very rewarding. Providing everyone is sensible about it there is no reason why she can't have two mums. Also if your children take to her and vice versa I'm sure that could turn into great relationships also. Good luck.

Glitter_girl_2

Hi yes I have 2 ids, I set up one but forgot my log in and set up another. I must have had the first one savedv on my phone. I'm really sorry to have caused any confusion.

Sooki

I have a close friend who's eldest is blissfully unaware that who they think is the dad isn't. I won't interfere but I'm always waiting for the proverbial to hit the fan & am surprised my friend has never told the child the truth it's been easier this way but I'm always slightly uncomfortable how the person will feel when they inevitably find out the truth and become aware that all the important adults in life have never said anything and been happy for the child to assume another as his natural father.

Bit different to your SD situation is that the biological father is aware of the child's existence and always refused to accept any responsibility, and the child has been well cared and nurtured. I can not believe this will not come out of the woodwork one day and cause the child even as an adult deep pain & distress and also their siblings & possible other siblings, grandparents etc ... Etc..

I think you are a star for how you are dealing with and embracing this child in your life.

Glitter_girl_2

Sooki wrote: »

I have a close friend who's eldest is blissfully unaware that who they think is the dad isn't. I won't interfere but I'm always waiting for the proverbial to hit the fan & am surprised my friend has never told the child the truth it's been easier this way but I'm always slightly uncomfortable how the person will feel when they inevitably find out the truth and become aware that all the important adults in life have never said anything and been happy for the child to assume another as his natural father.

Bit different to your SD situation is that the biological father is aware of the child's existence and always refused to accept any responsibility, and the child has been well cared and nurtured. I can not believe this will not come out of the woodwork one day and cause the child even as an adult deep pain & distress and also their siblings & possible other siblings, grandparents etc ... Etc..

I think you are a star for how you are dealing with and embracing this child in your life.

Thanks

That's sad for your friends child

Errata

There are more children and fathers than you would imagine who believe they are related when they aren't.

Glitter_girl_2

Errata wrote: »

There are more children and fathers than you would imagine who believe they are related when they aren't.

That's very sad

Glitter_girl_2

Well it's calmed down a bit for now she is at ours, we have all 5 of us had a snow ball fight and built snowmen. The younger ones have gone to bed and we are watching films and sharing a bottle of wine.

It's odd in a way as she is my husbands daughter but at the same time is an adult