How much lodge should I ask my son for

Clandestine1

Can I just bring this back on track please, I asked for opinions on what people thought a reasonable amount of lodge would be to ask my son for, laying out what was provided for him. I then felt I had to almost defend certain things I do for him as people seem to concentrating on that rather than the original question. My son is not lazy, he has two jobs and often works 18 hour days, he helps round the house doing DIY and helping cut grass in summer when needed, it suits me to do the family washing together, I can and do ask BOTH (don`t want to be accused of sex discrimination again ) kids to do wash loads for me and they both do so.
This post is about an acceptable amount of lodge to ask for, NOT advice on who should do what in my house. Thanks to those who have answered the OP.

Jim_Jupiter

Ill keep it simple then - £250 - £300 a month plus he buys his own toiletries and food above what you'd normally make.

If the g/f situation bothers you then put your foot down - explain you don't mind her round but staying in bed all day while your son isn't there is not at all.

Clandestine1

Thanks Jim. The toiletries I refer to as your usual shower gels, soaps, shampoo, toothbrushes ( I buy them in multi packs)toothpaste etc that the whole family uses which son is free to use, plus he and his Dad use the same deodorant, a certain brand `smell alike` that I pick up for 49p or so a can, I don`t know why, but I just consider all those basic household items, along with loo roll and kitchen roll. Son does buy his own hair gel, aftershave etc and he bought his own sun cream, after sun lotion etc before he went on holiday last year. If son wants a more expensive deodorant than the cheapy `smell alike) I buy, he does so out of his own money. I don`t buy things specifically for son, it`s stuff I buy as part of household essentials that he uses the same as any other family member, but maybe he needs pointed out to him that those items are not `free` they do have to be paid for and a % of his lodge has to cover their costs.

Treevo

Work out what your bills are (excluding mortgage - you're getting the asset so you should pay it) and divide them by four. That's what your son should pay as a base amount. Then divide that by seven and multiply that by as many days as the girlfriend stays and add that to the base amount and you've got the figure you should charge.

Clandestine1

That sounds right to me Treevo, but I would exclude bills that are nothing to do with son, such as life insurances etc, but include things such as Sky ( he watches it same as anyone else), the internet as he uses that as well. Basically I feel he should pay 1/4 of any bill or outgoing that he either uses or has his share of, anything else, such as the mortgage, life insurance etc is our responsibility.
It has been made clear to both the son and his girlfriend that it is not to be taken for granted that she can stay every weekend, we MUST be asked and that we do not want any stopovers that intrude on us through the week ever again. When the girlfriend has gone, we will be telling son that as it seems to be a regular occurrence her staying here and not just the occasional one off night, we expect son to pay us a set fee each time she stays, to cover the cost her stays incur on our food bills etc.

denibabe

totally your decision if you ask for more board, was it him who offered the £140 a month or your decision, i think you need to approach this very delicately as i have known teenagers move out even though it will cost them more to live elsewhere, if he is a sensible lad he will understand the increase,hope it works out for you.

KxMx

I'm very sorry Clandestine1 if I made you feel you had to justify yourself, that was never my intention, all I can say is alot of times on forums things go off on tangents

lolavix

I personally would never have stayed at my mums for £375 a month as a previous poster suggested. It all depends how much he costs you though. Having an extra person or two will not increase your energy bills by that much but he should pay a fair amount towards food etc.

sharp910sh

Go through all the bills and ask him to pay. £1500 a month is a huge salary. He is earnign £22.8k a year before tax. He is taking the pee.

If i were you I would charge him 400 quid rent, then bills on top and stop buying all his food or anything less.

He should pay more for his gf. You should tell him directly, that it is your house. Your rule. Don't like it. Leave.

At the end of the day he is taking liberties. You must sort this out, he is simply taking advantage of you. £1500 a month is a huge salary!

So you are sitting there poor while he and his gf is living the high life in your house.

If he was poor, had a low paid job I could understand. But no he is earning £22.8k a year!!! He has the money, if he wants to live the high life, tell him to pay a fair and reasonable sum. £140 quid is not fair ans reasonable at all.

19lottie82

Hi OP just to put things in perspective...... I clear £1465 a month, pay my mortgage, have a mid / high range virgin media package, an iPhone on contract, a gym membership, pay all my bills inc dual fuel, council tax and a service charge on my flat, run a car, pay a personal loan AND still have money left for clothes and the odd night out!
If he is blowing £1340 a month and has no savings, I would be a bit concerned!

If your son earns more than your DH and you have to support your DD then there is no way he should be paying less than the market rate (check gumtree or spareroom) + extra for any special food he wants and toiletries