Wedding dress code and other demands!

adouglasmhor

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

Maybe I'm out of touch but what's Gents DJ? Denim jeans? Donkey jacket? Day jammies?

I'm afraid I would not abide by these unreasonable demands unless I had something suitable already in my wardrobe. I'd wear something completely the opposite just to tick her off!

I'm another one who would never set a dress code for wedding guests - they can wear what they want. If someone wanted to wear jeans, well, that's up to them. At least they're attending.

I couldn't even get my hubby to wear what I wanted him to on our own wedding day!! I wanted him to wear a kilt but he doesn't suit a kilt so he wore a suit.

Dinner Jacket/DJ - is also known as a tuxedo, DJ is the british term.

thehappybutterfly

adouglasmhor wrote: »

Dinner Jacket/DJ - is also known as a tuxedo, DJ is the british term.

Dinner jacket, of course! Why the hell did I not see that? I had half of it

See we'd struggle with that - my hubby doesn't own a dinner jacket. He's strictly a 'smart shirt and dress trousers' man.

thehappybutterfly

Pollycat wrote: »

I wouldn't go against a set dress code just to 'tick someone off'.

I don't agree with dress codes - that's for 'celebrities' who don't know any better like Phil Neville who set a red, white & black dress code - but I wouldn't deliberately turn up on a bride's big day (no matter how big a bridezilla she's been) in something she'd said is a 'no no'.

Surely it's more polite to decline with regret or at least let her know you disagree with her whims and won't be attending rather than just turning up in red when she's stipulated peach.

I would tell her I was colour blind!

vesper

Another vote for checking out tk maxx. Although try and choose one you would use again, they've got loads of beautiful dresses there, we got my bridesmaids' dresses from there.

Although everyone's advice has been brilliant for me. I'm invited to a wedding later this year, in which the bride has dictated no white. Now I can understand her saying no white dresses, but no, this is no white at all anywhere on our person. And none of the theme colour anywhere either. And she has demanded we stay in the hotel where the wedding is at over £100 a room a night!
Unfortunatly I am self employed in a newly started up business so don't have any income off it yet, and can't afford nice beautiful dresses and especially 2 nights away at over £200. So picked a dress a few months ago, which by coincidence is white with the theme coloured patterns on (this was a true mistake, fell in love with the dress, only realised the colours when got home) and it was in the sale, £100 to £12. And me and my friends are booking a holiday cottage for the weekend together.
I can't afford to pander to some one even if she is a very close friend. I hope she is good enough to understand yes I am not pandering to her, but if I did I would not be able to afford to go. In the end surely my being there is more important, if not she's no friend. Surely as well your work collegue would understand if you didn't follow their intructions exactly.

lostinrates

Pollycat wrote: »

I wouldn't go against a set dress code just to 'tick someone off'.

I don't agree with dress codes - that's for 'celebrities' who don't know any better like Phil Neville who set a red, white & black dress code - but I wouldn't deliberately turn up on a bride's big day (no matter how big a bridezilla she's been) in something she'd said is a 'no no'.

Surely it's more polite to decline with regret or at least let her know you disagree with her whims and won't be attending rather than just turning up in red when she's stipulated peach.

Dress codes, as in white tie, black tie etc are not a problem IMO. Asking for people to wear one or two colours might be (though I love the suggestion to d it with accessories or a scarf or fabric, very chic. I can understand, just, a please don't wear 'x' colour if it's the bridal party colour, or something (though I would not do it). But we have had a few black tie functions and have been to plenty of white tie ones, and if that's the dress code you have freedom with in that. Indeed, I find a dress code help ful to guage the 'vibe' of the evening.

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

I really think that's pandering to a very entitled attitude though. If more people just took the 'dress code' as a suggestion rather than a demand and there was a mixture of people in peach and people wearing ordinary smart wedding gear, maybe more would get the message that you can't make massive impositions on people and that its not a nice message to send that you only value somebody's presence if they're wearing what you've told them to wear!

Most people are perfectly capable of dressing appropriately for a wedding without instructions, and appropriately is all you can ask of someone.

It's not pandering if you decline and say why.

It's sending a clear message to the bride/groom that if they see imposing a colour scheme as more important in their wedding than their guests, then they are not that important in your life.

From what the OP says, it's not a dress code suggestion, it's a dress code imposition.

It's one thing to go against a suggestion, another entirely to go against something the bride has specifically said it must be.

As I said above, rather than go against it to tick someone off, either decline or decline and say why.

Or lie and say you're colour blind.

cazziebo

It's getting crazier and crazier. I loved the thread on here last year that told about the no facial hair stipulation, and the no fatties in the foties rule... :rotfl:

Is a wedding not for friends and family to celebrate two people coming together to spend the rest of their lives with each other? It's fast becoming a one day pantomime mockery of what is a solemn commitment.

And yes, I've often found that the bigger the do, the shorter the marriage. Sad.

Wear what you want, OP, at least you'll stand out in the photographs!

kiss_me_now9

I honestly can not understand why you'd deliberately go against it though...

If you're friends enough with the couple to accept that it's one day and you're making them happy, then wear it.

If you're happy to make someone upset on what's meant to be the happiest day of their life then why are you going to their wedding anyway?

Becciboobah

My SIL made close friends and family dress to co-ordinate the colour scheme at her wedding which was Teal. I had a nightmare trying to find everything in teal. Couldn't really say no as it was my own brother getting married! Was also charged with looking after the hired baytrees with twinkly lights in all night at the reception to make sure no-one put a cigarette out in them, make sure no-one stole the over sized cocktail glasses that were being used as vases as they were hired and to light all 100 chinese lanterns that were to be let go at precisely 9pm. This lead to me being covered in paraffin for the rest of the night.

Boy that was a wedding I was glad to see the back of. I felt more like security than family! In fact Oh and I decided after that day that a wedding wasn't for us and I changed my name by deed poll and went on holiday for a long weekend instead.

I hope no-one in my family reads this board as I'm about to get disowned! :D:D

thehappybutterfly

kiss_me_now9 wrote: »

I honestly can not understand why you'd deliberately go against it though...

If you're friends enough with the couple to accept that it's one day and you're making them happy, then wear it.

If you're happy to make someone upset on what's meant to be the happiest day of their life then why are you going to their wedding anyway?

True but surely the happy couple should just be happy to have their friends and family there in the first place? Regardless of what they're wearing. Incidentally, none of my friends and family would make such an outlandish request anyway.

And, what on earth would they do if you showed up and broke the rules? Not let you in? Not allow you in the photos? Give you a glass of water for the wedding toast?