Wedding dress code and other demands!

Person_one

jackyann wrote: »

Depends how much you & your OH like this couple and care about being with them on their day.

This is exactly the attitude that perpetuates the wedding madness.

securityguy

Person_one wrote: »

This is exactly the attitude that perpetuates the wedding madness.

The more expensive and unreasonable the wedding, the more destructive and rapid the divorce. So it's popcorn all the way: you can watch silly girls spending money they haven't got on hideous, tasteless weddings, and then watch them screeching like fishwives as their marriage disintegrates over money. Still, they've had their "special day", and that's all that matters, isn't it?

Kirri

Person_one wrote: »

Wedding planning has this strange power to make normally sane and sensible women turn into complete nutjob prima donnas temporarily.

I don't actually blame them, the websites and magazines etc. are feeding them a steady diet of "Its your special day, you're a princess, do exactly what you feel like doing and anybody who questions it is just a nasty so and so who doesn't deserve to be at your magical wedding anyway!"

Most of them revert back to normal once they've been married a few weeks.

Don't they have to be a bit that way inclined in the first place though?

I'd never change, I'd be the total opposite, really wouldn't care what anyone wore, would just prefer them to turn up!

tyllwyd

What happens if you turn up without following the dress code? Would you get turned away at the door, or would they just lock you in the toilets when it was time for the pictures?

jackyann

Person_one wrote: »

This is exactly the attitude that perpetuates the wedding madness.

I know (shakes head sadly)!!

Nicki

tyllwyd wrote: »

What happens if you turn up without following the dress code? Would you get turned away at the door, or would they just lock you in the toilets when it was time for the pictures?

It might depend on how far you deviated and how many others also did. If the dress code was for example long black dresses for all women, and everyone else adhered to it but you turned up in a short red dress, then there might be mutterings that you were deliberately trying to upstage the bride. Less so, if you turned up in a long dress in a dark colour or a knee length black dress though.

Should say I didn't have a dress code at my wedding and it wouldn't have occurred to me to do so, but if I got an invite that specified one, I would either comply or send my apologies.

Pollycat

squirrelchops wrote: »

The dress code is for all day, for everyone. It was on the invites!

I personally would feel very uncomfortable (physically) wearing a ball-gown style dress for the whole day.

If it were me I'd decide if I really wanted to go to this colleague's wedding and if the answer was 'yes', the next question would be 'Am I willing to comply with the dress code specified'.

If 'yes', then go and join in with good grace, if 'no' politely decline.

thehappybutterfly

Maybe I'm out of touch but what's Gents DJ? Denim jeans? Donkey jacket? Day jammies?

I'm afraid I would not abide by these unreasonable demands unless I had something suitable already in my wardrobe. I'd wear something completely the opposite just to tick her off!

I'm another one who would never set a dress code for wedding guests - they can wear what they want. If someone wanted to wear jeans, well, that's up to them. At least they're attending.

I couldn't even get my hubby to wear what I wanted him to on our own wedding day!! I wanted him to wear a kilt but he doesn't suit a kilt so he wore a suit.

Pollycat

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

I'm afraid I would not abide by these unreasonable demands unless I had something suitable already in my wardrobe. I'd wear something completely the opposite just to tick her off!

I wouldn't go against a set dress code just to 'tick someone off'.

I don't agree with dress codes - that's for 'celebrities' who don't know any better like Phil Neville who set a red, white & black dress code - but I wouldn't deliberately turn up on a bride's big day (no matter how big a bridezilla she's been) in something she'd said is a 'no no'.

Surely it's more polite to decline with regret or at least let her know you disagree with her whims and won't be attending rather than just turning up in red when she's stipulated peach.

Person_one

Pollycat wrote: »

I wouldn't go against a set dress code just to 'tick someone off'.

I don't agree with dress codes - that's for 'celebrities' who don't know any better like Phil Neville who set a red, white & black dress code - but I wouldn't deliberately turn up on a bride's big day (no matter how big a bridezilla she's been) in something she'd said is a 'no no'.

Surely it's more polite to decline with regret or at least let her know you disagree with her whims and won't be attending rather than just turning up in red when she's stipulated peach.

I really think that's pandering to a very entitled attitude though. If more people just took the 'dress code' as a suggestion rather than a demand and there was a mixture of people in peach and people wearing ordinary smart wedding gear, maybe more would get the message that you can't make massive impositions on people and that its not a nice message to send that you only value somebody's presence if they're wearing what you've told them to wear!

Most people are perfectly capable of dressing appropriately for a wedding without instructions, and appropriately is all you can ask of someone.