Wedding dress code and other demands!

Mojisola

Unless this was a very close family member, I'd be making my excuses.

If someone wants to live in Hello! land, let them subsidise their fantasies. I don't want to spend my money on them.

Stephb1986_2

We're having a formal attire wedding not dictating colours to guests that would be wrong. I don't expected to be worshipped or anything just that there is a certain few family members have been seen to turn up to a wedding in a tracksuit and rockport shoes. I'm not being snobbish or anything I just know how stupid it looks on someones wedding photo's.

I'm not saying the OP will turn up in a tracksuit but maybe the wedding she is going to the couple have has similar experiences to me?

Steph xx

thunderbird

Sounds like great fun to me - everyone getting dressed up.

What colours have they chosen?

aliama

meritaten wrote: »

short answer - Yes!
my OHs friends dd is getting married.
there is a dress code - its already costing me to stay overnight although both of them live in a city not twenty mins away - they are getting wed in a 'posh' venue miles from anywhere!
apparently the dress code is different day to evening - so thats two outfits for me - OH can get away with discarding formal suit jacket!
I am bleeding fed up of this wedding - so many do's and don'ts I dont wanna go!
just glad I havent been invited to the 'hen' do - the deposit is a £100!!!!!!!!!!!! who does she think she is? Paris Hilton?
oh and the gift list is a laff - she is getting Argos vouchers and sod her preferred Debenhams list! nothing under £50!
she is really putting me off weddings!

Please try not to get annoyed about the gift list. She may only mean it as just a list of suggestions for those who are not sure what to get, rather than an expectation that everyone will buy something off the list. And it may not be entirely her fault. When it comes to weddings, everything always get blamed on the bride.

Why not get them Debenhams vouchers rather than Argos vouchers? It won't cost you any more and at least they can put it towards something on their list?

But as for the rest of your post, frankly I think I'd be very politely backing out and making my apologies.

As for the OP, I'd look around and see if you can find an outfit at a cost that's reasonable to you. If you can't, then have a word with the bride, apologise and say you won't be able to make it and explain why. Might just make her think twice....

LannieDuck

I think it sounds quite fun. But you're under no obligation to accept her invitation. You have no say over the choices she makes for her wedding, so you can either, i) accept or ii) decline the invitation. Simples

claire16c

I dont think theres anything wrong with a formal dress code - although its pretty annoying - normally people turn up to weddings looking really smart - makes me wonder who they are inviting that they actually need to instruct to do that? So maybe Stephb1986 is right.

However colour? That is just irritating. I find it really hard to find dresses that fit me, it would be a nightmare if I was restricted to a certain colour!! What if you simply cant find one? And you have ten dresses at home that would be suitable for a wedding and you wanted to wear one of those?

Plus - it could surely lead to a load of women all turning up in the same dress that they all got from Debenhams or something?? That is not going to look good on the photos lol! They could look like some kind of secondary group of bridesmaids?

time2deal

There is a funny thread on the wedding board 'I am a Bridezilla and my confession is...'.

It was started by someone who said part of them wants their guests to dress to match the theme, but she knows it's a crazy thing to ask! Obviously OP's friend didn't quite agree.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2405575

Mojisola

claire16c wrote: »

Plus - it could surely lead to a load of women all turning up in the same dress that they all got from Debenhams or something?? That is not going to look good on the photos lol! They could look like some kind of secondary group of bridesmaids?

Now that could be quite funny!

an9i77

What I would do in this siutation is buy one second hand on ebay and then sell it again straight after. Its like hiring but cheaper! I did this recently for a new years eve party with a dress code and although I did have to pay the seller fees and postage for the original dress, its ended up costing me about a tenner (didn't quite get back what I paid but nearly) so not bad for a posh frock I wore once.

tyllwyd

I think it is a terrible idea and personally I wouldn't want to get involved so I'd end up turning down the invitation. OK, you might like to have pictures of the bridge & groom & bridesmaids dressed in a similar way, but for the other guests I think it is nice to see everyone dressed how they want to be, all different - it would look creepy seeing everyone dressed pretty much the same, especially if it includes everyone from 80 year old grandma through to 20 year old niece. And I think it puts unreasonable pressure on everyone invited, especially people who haven't got money to splash around.