Am I wrong to expect a thanks?

notanewuser

lika_86 wrote: »

Bit of an exaggeration, no? 24/7, ridiculous.

I also cannot believe that you spend all day caring for your child(ren). I'm not saying that someone who stays at home should be the family skivvy but it's obviously easier to put the washing in/take it out/hang it on the line/put some dinner in the oven/run round with a vac between looking after a child than when at work out of the home all day.

At weekends I would expect the division of cooking/washing up/childcare etc to be shared but during the day in the week, I would expect the majority of household work to be done by the person at home.

Firstly, OH works from home mostly. Secondly, yes, I do spend pretty much 24/7 with DD. she's just turned 2 and is full of mischief. I can't leave her alone to put washing on or cook a meal - she's with me when I do things like that. We do 3 classes a week. It's a very busy schedule.

They're only little for a short time - they go to school full time here at 3 - so my priority is her, not the Hoover.

mummyroysof3

i dont expect a thanks as such but am very happy when husband shows he appriciates(i can never spell that) what i do. i feel he takes me for granted sometimes and just expects that ill do everything as im at home. he is starting new hours at work next week and it will alter everyones routine slightly..should be interesting to see how that works out lol

victory

depression heightens everything one becomes more sensitive, emotional, prickly, things can be over thought, dramatised and it feels personal. Having cooked a soup from scratch and not got a basic good mannered thank you is poor but the person you are madder at is yourself because all that time and trouble you cannot get back, it seems wasted and eats away at you in annoyance.

T o feed them you do not have to stand over a stove for hours. Your choice.

The self harming/ depression do you have counselling? Medication? sUpport?

as for your OH online profile that needs to stopped, not on at all

**Patty**

lika_86 wrote: »

Bit of an exaggeration, no? 24/7, ridiculous.

I also cannot believe that you spend all day caring for your child(ren). I'm not saying that someone who stays at home should be the family skivvy but it's obviously easier to put the washing in/take it out/hang it on the line/put some dinner in the oven/run round with a vac between looking after a child than when at work out of the home all day.

At weekends I would expect the division of cooking/washing up/childcare etc to be shared but during the day in the week, I would expect the majority of household work to be done by the person at home.

Oh to have a husband that DOESN'T work weekends.........:o

Macca83_2

meritaten wrote: »

Next time you have made a special effort with a meal or whatever - treat them like two-year olds! Prompt them..........ask 'Did you enjoy that as I made it especially/just for you/ just as you like it'?
or even say yourself as you are clearing away 'Thanks hun - that was absolutely gorgeous'! sometimes a little sarcasm disguised as a joke will shame them into good manners!

Haha I too find myself doing this on occasion. A quick 'you're very welcome' on collection of the plates always does the trick.

quinechinoise

Person_one wrote: »

Quichenoise

This is totally off-topic... You've just really made me laugh, for changing me from Chinese girl to noisy quiche! Sorry. I know it's a typo but I do appreciate the (unintentional) amusement.

Mojisola

If one partner goes out to work for set hours - 35, 40, 50 - and then comes home, why should he/she expect the stay-at-home parent to continue working?

It's fair for a SAH parent to get the majority of the household tasks during the day but, once the other parent is home, what needs to be done should be shared - children to bed, etc.

Dunroamin

notanewuser wrote: »

Firstly, OH works from home mostly. Secondly, yes, I do spend pretty much 24/7 with DD. she's just turned 2 and is full of mischief. I can't leave her alone to put washing on or cook a meal - she's with me when I do things like that. We do 3 classes a week. It's a very busy schedule.

They're only little for a short time - they go to school full time here at 3 - so my priority is her, not the Hoover.

Surely both you and she must sleep sometimes?

notanewuser

Dunroamin wrote: »

Surely both you and she must sleep sometimes?

Of course. Usually in the same bed.

And if she needs anything in the night it's not daddy (who has to be able to function the next day for clients) that's on call - it's mummy. Hence the 24/7 comments.

There's no pay and the hours are way in excess of the working time directive, but its still the best job in the world.

marleyboy

OH does not need to thank me for a splendid meal, cleaning the plate off with a look of complete satisfaction is thanks enough for me.

As a SAHD its my job to ensure the child is taken care of (his first day at Nursery tomorrow :D), that the house is tidy and a nice hot meal is prepared for her return from a long hard day at work.

I would not expect OH to thank me for each chore of the day I have completed, I know she appreciates it in much the same way I appreciate she has worked all day long, she would not want me to thank her each day she went to work.

We work together as a family unit, albeit we occasionally do mention our love and appreciation for all the things we do, there is no tick off list that we put them all on. We both do a full days work and acknowledgement of each others chores is done with a simple peck on the cheek when she leaves for work and when she gets home.