Am I wrong to expect a thanks?

notanewuser

fashionlover10 wrote: »

I don't really wish to side with anyone on this argument but I'd definitely be wary of having my child (if/when I have one) in my bed with me as my cousin was in secondary school before she spent a night in her own bed. Sharing a bed with your 2 year old isn't so bad but an 11/12 year old? :eek:

That's what I thought.

Till she was born. She slept on me for the first 4 months, in our room for 10 months and now as and when she needs to she comes in with us. She's spent many full nights in her bed, but we are flexible parents (which has been very handy in certain circumstances).

Joons

notanewuser wrote: »

I sleep better when she's in bed with me, despite the odd toe up the nose or face in my armpit. Perhaps it's biological. Can't imagine many cave people put their little ones in separate rooms.

(Nothing wrong with sex on the kitchen table or in the bath when DD has gone to bed. )

If it works for you which it clearly does then you carry on, as I have said, bedtime was the only time I got time for myself so going to bed with my child would not have been a pleasure, it would be more a pain, unless of course she was ill, upset etc.....I just think getting them into a bedtime routine where they know they have their own bed and have to stay there is better all round for everyone and yes I wouldn't imagine cave folk had separate rooms, we're supposed to be a bit more evolved now though lol.

Joons

fashionlover10 wrote: »

I don't really wish to side with anyone on this argument but I'd definitely be wary of having my child (if/when I have one) in my bed with me as my cousin was in secondary school before she spent a night in her own bed. Sharing a bed with your 2 year old isn't so bad but an 11/12 year old? :eek:

My friend had let her son sleep with her pretty much since birth, I was shocked when we hooked up recently to find out at the age of 13 he was still sharing a bed with her! Not the kid's fault, the parent started the bad habit in the first place and was now tearing her hair out about what to do about it!

CH27

notanewuser wrote: »

That's what I thought.

Till she was born. She slept on me for the first 4 months, in our room for 10 months and now as and when she needs to she comes in with us. She's spent many full nights in her bed, but we are flexible parents (which has been very handy in certain circumstances).

How does your OH feel about that?

notanewuser

CH27 wrote: »

How does your OH feel about that?

Most of the time he's the one that brings her in!!

sedment

Think most of us sahm's can feel that way but I feel lucky that i can be the one that gets to go and see the cherubs singing at nativities, playgroups trips etc. Yes you do occasionally feel like you are taken for granted, but I bet your other half feels it too when little one calls for you, always sits on your knees and you have to be the one to cut up her dinner etc.

Seems there is a few issues here but hope you can speak to your other half ans sort it xx

Mojisola

Hushpuppie wrote: »

Do any of stay at home mums feel they are taken for granted?

There's a joke that does the rounds -

Father comes home, expecting to sit down to the family evening meal. He finds the hyperactive children still in their pyjamas from the morning, charging around the garden, filthy dirty and toys all over the place. They obviously haven't been to school. He rushes into the house - the kitchen is a disaster area, breakfast bowls still out, a pool of milk on the floor, the fridge open and food spread around. No sign of dinner being made. He looks around the house - toys everywhere, nothing tidy or clean and is really worried that something has happened to his wife. He finds her in bed, a glass of wine in hand, chocolates beside her, reading a book.

"What the hell has happened today?" he shouts.

She replies "You know how often you say to me that you don't know what I do all day? Well, today I didn't do it!"

System

Hushpuppie wrote: »

Do any of stay at home mums feel they are taken for granted? I snapped the other day because I never get a thankyou and feel like its 'my job' to do house chores dont get me wrong I do housework and all the washing etc as husband is at work all day, he does change nappies etc on our 21 month old when he gets home,he does what he can but my daughter usually wants to sit on my lap at dinner and wants my attention more than anyones so I never get any peace.

last week I made fresh soups from scratch, cakes etc as I dont like packaged stuff from stores,so on Wed his 11yr old son from his 1st wife was due back at his mums at 1pm so I made chicken soup for all of us started at 11am let it cook properly had it on table at 12.30 tell husband and his son its ready so they sit and eat ....no thanks or anything ,the usual:mad:re
his son is actually well mannered and tidy ...maybe its me?:(

I dunno maybe my depression is not improving
I told my husband I self harm when im down like hit my head, all he said was thats silly. hes not asked since if I still do it. I feel like my family and husband would not miss me if I vanished and thats the honest truth

I met my husband on dating site got married i was happy until i found out he was still 'looking' and had an active profile ..i was 3 weeks pregnant told him after confronting about dating site he was still on..anyway i felt i had no choice but to make it work for babys sake ...but am i the only one to see an elephant in the room? as u can see and hopefully understand i feel undervalued and rubbish

how can i feel better?

You do a lot for other people. Make sure that you prioritise doing something that YOU really like to do each day, even if it means that the housework is not quite perfect (housework never ends, so don't try finishing it ) or the family has to have the occasional convenience meal.

Is your husband still on this dating site or are you thinking back to how he was still on it when you were pregnant?

Self-harm can be very isolating. It is difficult to confide it to anyone, because someone with no experience or insight into it may judge you badly or jump to conclusions. I did not know why I was doing it but I am slowly gaining some insight into it. It seems to be that you have these huge, strong emotions and feelings, (perhaps you are overly sensitised due to depression or anxiety?) and there's nowhere for these feelings to go. They need to find an outlet somewhere or somehow, they don't just disappear.
I have been recommended a book, Freedom from Self-harm by Kim Gratz, though I haven't tried it yet so I can't say from personal experience how good it is. Some people might prefer to talk with a counsellor rather than working through it alone. Can you speak to your GP or would you be too wary of confiding in them?

notanewuser

This sums it up far better than I can.

http://www.the-mule.com/2013/01/dear-daughters-im-sick-of-you-waking-me.html?m=1