Someone please tell me the best way to deal with teenagers!?

WantToBeSE

Judi wrote: »

I could have forgiven the loss of his temper, i could have forgiven the fact he hated the house that housed him and possibly the bad language but there would be no way i'd have let him call me that!

Closest i got to that was dragging a drunken lout out of bed when he refused to get up. My God was i angry!

Unfortunately i am not a perfect parent, with a perfect son, and a perfect life, hence the reason i started this thread.

We have had a discussion and everyone in the house has come to a mutual 'no swearing' agreement, with the aid of a swear box that he will make, LOL..:rotfl:
I think this is where the allowance will come in handy!

System

Unfortunately i am not a perfect parent, with a perfect son, and a perfect life, hence the reason i started this thread.

No nor me but ive had many, many years of practice.

CH27

WantToBeSE wrote: »

Unfortunately i am not a perfect parent, with a perfect son, and a perfect life, hence the reason i started this thread.

We have had a discussion and everyone in the house has come to a mutual 'no swearing' agreement, with the aid of a swear box that he will make, LOL..:rotfl:
I think this is where the allowance will come in handy!

None of us are perfect. We just try our hardest & muddle on through.

WantToBeSE

Judi wrote: »

No nor me but ive had many, many years of practice.

Well, i havent, as you can see. So instead of making me feel even worse that i am finding it hard, perhaps you could help by giving me some suggestions?

Seanymph

To whoever asked, a page or so ago - I used to give mine £10 a week, in cash, on a Friday.

System

WantToBeSE wrote: »

Well, i havent, as you can see. So instead of making me feel even worse that i am finding it hard, perhaps you could help by giving me some suggestions?

OK, sorry if i've upset you which was something i didnt intend to do.

A few tips:

Dont overload them with rules and regulations but the rules you do make, stick to them. If they arent adhered to, they must be addressed.

Different children respond to different punishments. All of my children hated to be grounded so that was the perfect punishment for an unruly teen but one of my children wasnt bothered if he was grounded. He'd just stay in and watch telly instead so turning off the telly was a good enough punishment. You just have to find something that works for your child.

My kids never had pocket money (if they want money they had to earn it by way of a paper round/gardening etc) so taking money off them was never an issue.

You have to stand up to them. Your the parent and they are the child. Someone told me many years ago, bad behavior should always be challenged and suitably addressed. This doesnt necessarily mean punishment but it does mean it has to be talked about.

Be fair but consistant. Respect is something that has to be earned both ways.

I'm not saying its easy. I am not belittling what your going through, ive been there myself in one way or another and found it particularly difficult as i was practically a single Mum (hubby worked away and was fit for nothing let alone parenting on weekends).

WantToBeSE

Seanymph wrote: »

To whoever asked, a page or so ago - I used to give mine £10 a week, in cash, on a Friday.

We have agreed on £20 a month. I started with £10, he suggested £30. We both compromised.

He is designing us both as swear box and the deal is that we whoever has the least amount in their box at the end of the month (hense who swore less) gets to keep what is in both boxes!

WantToBeSE

Judi wrote: »

OK, sorry if i've upset you which was something i didnt intend to do.

A few tips:

Dont overload them with rules and regulations but the rules you do make, stick to them. If they arent adhered to, they must be addressed.

Different children respond to different punishments. All of my children hated to be grounded so that was the perfect punishment for an unruly teen but one of my children wasnt bothered if he was grounded. He'd just stay in and watch telly instead so turning off the telly was a good enough punishment. You just have to find something that works for your child.

My kids never had pocket money (if they want money they had to earn it by way of a paper round/gardening etc) so taking money off them was never an issue.

You have to stand up to them. Your the parent and they are the child. Someone told me many years ago, bad behavior should always be challenged and suitably addressed. This doesnt necessarily mean punishment but it does mean it has to be talked about.

Be fair but consistant. Respect is something that has to be earned both ways.

I'm not saying its easy. I am not belittling what your going through, ive been there myself in one way or another and found it particularly difficult as i was practically a single Mum (hubby worked away and was fit for nothing let alone parenting on weekends).

Thanks for that Judi.
Sorry if I came across too defensively, I am just worn out with it really. Will definitely bear in mind your advice

System

Thanks for that Judi.
Sorry if I came across too defensively, I am just worn out with it really. Will definitely bear in mind your advice

no worries, i probably came over as a bit of a know all so i apologise.

System

One more thing.

You can raise your child as to the way to go in life but at the end of the day, they get to an age where they stop listening and follow their own path in life which you might or might not be happy about. However, take care in knowing that you did your best to raise them in the best way you know how.

Unfortunately there aint no handbooks with raising kids. If there had have been i'd have been the first to buy it. I might have solved myself a few problems on the way.