Someone please tell me the best way to deal with teenagers!?

red_devil

WantToBeSE wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your help.
He has just been downstairs saying how unfair it is that he cant play his xbox and can he please play it now as 'its been an hour since i was horrible to you and i am sorry'.
Well, i then (calmly) told him that i appreciated that he was sorry, and i am also sorry for shouting, however the punishment still stands. No xbox for the rest of the day.
So then cue the "i f***ing hate this house, you t**t".
Nice.

His behaviour just makes me feel so useless as a parent.

he has no respect simple. Things have gone downhill sadly. I would never have dreamt of swearing at my parents. He has to see that swearing is awful and disrespectful dont stand for it.

How would he like his kids swearing at him when he is a parent or worse?

WantToBeSE

red_devil wrote: »

he has no respect simple. Things have gone downhill sadly. I would never have dreamt of swearing at my parents. He has to see that swearing is awful and disrespectful dont stand for it.

How would he like his kids swearing at him when he is a parent or worse?

What do you mean "things have gone downhill sadly"?

red_devil

WantToBeSE wrote: »

What do you mean "things have gone downhill sadly"?

the way kids speak to their parents. Its awful and disrespectful that he is swearing at you.

Spendless

WantToBeSE wrote: »

:rotfl:It's so funny, i was going to write 'body language' not face, but thought you'd all think i was mental if i explained that even with his back to me, i cantell what mood he is in, by the way he stands Glad its not just me

The course I was on that covered it was a parenting one (v.long story why I was on it, but it followed us having to get DS some 1-2-1 support via his school following him being bullied and assaulted). The other things I've mentioned on here were also covered on the course. Something else was your child's age mentally/physically/emotionally to what their actual age was and whilst my younger child who is 9 came out at age 8-9, DS who is 12 came out at something like 11-17 depending on which aspect you were looking at- which helped me to understand at least a bit why we were facing problems. Unfortunately I couldn't finish course as a job came up I needed to take.

FatVonD

My own 15-year-old DS is going through the great unwashed phase, he stinks unless he is meeting his girlfriend in which case he smells like a tart's handbag.

They chat on skype each night and he changes into his best clothes and straightens his hair to talk to her but she has no idea what he smells like!

warehouse

FatVonD wrote: »

My own 15-year-old DS is going through the great unwashed phase, he stinks unless he is meeting his girlfriend in which case he smells like a tart's handbag.

They chat on skype each night and he changes into his best clothes and straightens his hair to talk to her but she has no idea what he smells like!

When he's on Skype you might want to be heard in the background telling him that he stinks and it's about time he took a shower this week!

z.n

warehouse wrote: »

When he's on Skype you might want to be heard in the background telling him that he stinks and it's about time he took a shower this week!

That is so cruel-but I can't stop laughing!

ALIBOBSY

SingleSue wrote: »

I'm still waiting for youngest to go through it, he may be nearly 15 but his emotional and body age is a lot younger (he went through terrible twos at nearly 6!). Mind you, it's not a bad thing, middle son (16) is still going through the hormones bit and eldest (19) is just coming out of the other end!

Think youngest would like the hormones to kick in soon, he is still the size of a 10 year old, it will be a mighty relief to him when he no longers looks like a young year 6 or 7 (he has a growth problem which we have known about since he was 18 months old, his bone age back then was 9 months old and we were warned he would go through a very late puberty and be small all through high school)

Sadly my son already towers over me. I am only 5 foot 1 and his Dad is 6 ft 4, and he appears to be taking after his Dad-I would say if he keeps growing as he has, he may well be 6ft by the end of the year :eek:.

Mind you when he had that winter vomiting thing last month he still came and curled up next to me for a cuddle-was almost sat on my knee lol. He's still my baby really lol.

Ali x

z.n

Our answer to the testosterone surge is physical activity. Rugby is best-he's an angel after a good rugby match. Alternatives include forced labour in the garden/chopping wood with a very large axe (slowly and utterly incompetently with much huffing and puffing), attempting and failing to cycle faster than his Dad, session on the punchbag in the garage (poor timing makes this really frustrating so be prepared to be even more incompetent and go for the laugh-works short term.) Sometimes the answer is simply to leave him be until he feels more in control-so no nagging about anything for a couple of hours followed by a session of being put in charge of something small to confirm he's back on top of things. On a really bad day sometimes I just insist on him running round our local park two or three times before we talk again.

( I quite like how he smells- is that bad?)

System

He has just been downstairs saying how unfair it is that he cant play his xbox and can he please play it now as 'its been an hour since i was horrible to you and i am sorry'.
Well, i then (calmly) told him that i appreciated that he was sorry, and i am also sorry for shouting, however the punishment still stands. No xbox for the rest of the day.
So then cue the "i f***ing hate this house, you t**t".

I could have forgiven the loss of his temper, i could have forgiven the fact he hated the house that housed him and possibly the bad language but there would be no way i'd have let him call me that!

Closest i got to that was dragging a drunken lout out of bed when he refused to get up. My God was i angry!