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is this interfereing to much?
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i have a soon to be 16 year old son, and will be having this discussion with him, i may well leave a packet of condoms in his room,i agree with other posters, as both parties are over 16 it is nobody elses business, i think the OP is very sensible to speak to and advice the sons girlfriend x0
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Wik, I've posted this before in a different thread but I don't mind doing so again.
If your son or anyone else has a smartphone, there is an app on there called icondom - this app shows the user the place nearest to them where free condoms are available - i think it shows where they can be bought too. It's a neat app and its free.
:beer:
Hi, do you know if there's an android version of this app?52% tight0 -
You've done right to raise with your son and I don't see it as your place to tell her parents but if they did ask if you allow them privacy in your home I wouldn't lie.
Regarding contraception I am shocked that she is so innocent and doesn't know where to go to access it. I am of the opinion if you are old enough to be sexually active you are old enough to protect yourself.
If she has a school nurse she can go there for advice in addition to FPC, GP or even Pharmacy. I would also make sure in the mean time they know how to access emergency contraception.
Maybe she's not actually confused about contraception and where to get it - she might be confused about what's totally in confidence and which places might not keep her 'secret'.
I remember back in my school days we were never quite sure whether the GP would tell your mother, or let it slip to her if she came into the room with you when you went for antibiotics for tonsillitis, for example.
She could also be asking about ways to keep the pill secret if she doesn't want her parents to find out.
I'm another one for not telling the parents, but I think if they actually asked me about it I wouldn't lie. My son's gf's parents have never asked us about it. I think they trust their daughter to make good choices.52% tight0 -
Looking at this from the girlsfriend's mother's point of view, the OP is probably going to get some short shrift for allowing 'goodness know what' under her roof.
Then the gf's mother should have contacted the OP to ask about who would be home and what the arrangements would be. Just because my 16 year old has a girlfriend doesn't mean I am going to stay in the house over the entire weekend and never go shopping or take my youngest to the park just because they might have sex while I am out. That wouldn't be fair on my youngest.
If GF's mum wanted to provide full time surveillance and stop them from going into a bedroom and shutting the door then she should call me and ask which times I'm going out, and make sure she keeps her daughter at home during those times.
If my son meets his GF in town and they come here while I am taking the youngest swimming that's out of my control, I'm afraid. All us parents can do is educate them about contraception and also (imo) about waiting until they are in a loving relationship - and then hope that they make good choices.
I don't want to sound like a prude (and I'm certainly not one) but I know a girl who has been bed-hopping since she was 13 and she's quite messed up with no self confidence. I think a 13 year old who doesn't feel like she's worth loving for herself is a world of difference away from a 16 year old girl who is in a relationship and knows she is loved.52% tight0 -
Yes. But he was the first and last and we have been together 25 years.
We will have to agree to differ. I think promiscuity is both wrong and harmful, and my view is that a sexual relationship is made meaningful by the fact that it is entered into by two people who have made a serious commitment to one another. That doesn't have to mean they are married, but it should (in my personal opinion) mean that they love one another rather than they just fancy each other.
The reason why promiscuity is in my opinion on a par with smoking or drug use, if you want to put it that way, is because both carry risks to physical and emotional health, and with promiscuity there is the added risk of an unwanted pregnancy, leading either to one or more terminations or to a child being brought into the world where both parents are divided, which is not what most children would wish for their home lives.
I think many 15 or 16 year olds would say their relationship is meaningful. My 16 year old reckons that none of his friends, either male or female, lost their virginity without thinking they had already found 'the one'. At their age they think being together for 6 months before having sex is a long time.52% tight0 -
I think many 15 or 16 year olds would say their relationship is meaningful. My 16 year old reckons that none of his friends, either male or female, lost their virginity without thinking they had already found 'the one'. At their age they think being together for 6 months before having sex is a long time.
I was with my first boyfriend for two years, from 15 to 17, and looking back he was probably the best of the bunch! :rotfl:
A surprising number of people still do end up marrying their first partners or ones they met as teenagers, I wouldn't dismiss their relationships, they have a huge impact.
(Being together for 6 months before sex IS a long time, isn't it? People in their twenties and thirties don't tend to wait that long, generally.)0 -
I think many 15 or 16 year olds would say their relationship is meaningful. My 16 year old reckons that none of his friends, either male or female, lost their virginity without thinking they had already found 'the one'. At their age they think being together for 6 months before having sex is a long time.
The stories my DD tells of school friends who have been having casual sex since 13/14 is quite horrifying. She has showed me a 13 old is putting on facebook that she is on 8:
One of my friend's DD who was 17 at the time "owned up" via a facebook status she was on 15!
At an 18th party a 17 year old girl had sex for the first time outside the venue and the boy did his bit and left her bleeding!
Everytime DD has recounted a story I say "I hope they used protection".
I am all for women having as much right as men to sleep around if that is what they want to do and don't feel under pressure, but I would not have been happy if my DD had been behaving like that at a young age.Maybe she's not actually confused about contraception and where to get it - she might be confused about what's totally in confidence and which places might not keep her 'secret'.
I remember back in my school days we were never quite sure whether the GP would tell your mother, or let it slip to her if she came into the room with you when you went for antibiotics for tonsillitis, for example.
She could also be asking about ways to keep the pill secret if she doesn't want her parents to find out.
s.
That's a good point as I'm sure schools handle it differently and sometimes people won't speak up with questions of things like privacy.
I have talked to DD about how to get contraception (emergency or planned) as she knew it was available but I wanted to ensure she knew where to go to get it. I have also told her since she reached her teens that she could go see the GP/nurse alone and it would be private.
I also ensure she knows how to get a pregnancy test for free as I've told her there is no point spending days/weeks worrying when a simple test will give her the answer.
~Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.~:)
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I think many 15 or 16 year olds would say their relationship is meaningful. My 16 year old reckons that none of his friends, either male or female, lost their virginity without thinking they had already found 'the one'. At their age they think being together for 6 months before having sex is a long time.
I agree.
At 15/16 I remember thinking that if I had been going out with someone for a couple weeks then it was ages. Those of my friends that had been in relationships for 6 months or more were practically married.
Each new relationship was gonna be 'the one' (oh how we learn) Haha
The only thing a parent can do is adequately prepare a child for life ahead.0 -
To those saying when they were 16 girls generally didn't have sex, what age range are you in. I'm in my 30s and lots of the girls at my school were having sex around 16. I wonder whether it is partly due to educational background, as I went to a school of mainly low achievers.0
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