Don't know what to do!

alpha2005

esmf, yes my kids do stay with me every other weekend, i am continually tidying the house to make sure that it is what it should be for them.

My kids are the only positive that i have right now and i can't see any more positives.

thunderbird

alpha2005 wrote: »

esmf, yes my kids do stay with me every other weekend, i am continually tidying the house to make sure that it is what it should be for them.

My kids are the only positive that i have right now and i can't see any more positives.

that is a massive positive though

alpha2005

my children have just called me to say that they love me and miss me, this has started me off crying again.

jaqui59

Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time.

You say you need to vent .. Are you able to exercise, if so I would highly recommend you do so and as often as possible. I feel confident that half hour to 1 hours brisk walking daily will help you feel a lot better as its a medically proven fact that exercise releases endorphins that are mood enhancing .. And how about joining your local rambling group where you will be getting that exercise and meeting lots of lovely people too.

Of course there are lots of other forms of exercise you can do which means getting involved with other people.

And don't forget, besides lifting your mood, regular exercise offers other health benefits, such as lowering blood pressure, protecting against heart disease and cancer, and boosting self-esteem

jaqui59

alpha2005 wrote: »

my children have just called me to say that they love me and miss me, this has started me off crying again.

Alpha ... Splash your face with some cold water, take some deep breaths, stretch out your body, and go for a long brisk walk now, to the point where your heart is pumping and you are sweating, and then let us know how you feel.

dancingfairy

I think the best way to meet new people would be to join a club - perhaps a sports club. Then if you can't talk etc its not really a big deal as you'll all be running around playing football/rugby whatever - group sports are good.
In terms of meeting people, you're not going to a) be best friends with everybody and b) make friends overnight. Just take it eas, say hi to people, ask about their weekend/evening (if they mentioned they were doing x,y,z). You need to try and find something in common with people but when you do you can say 'hey x, do you fancy going to see a rock concert/film at the theatre/going to the pub/going to the match.... etc etc.
If you've only been in your new house and job a very short while then it's all going to be a massive shock to you. It takes a while to settle in to these things. Why the relationship went wrong, who knows? Maybe too much too soon? maybe a rebound relationship (although maybe you didn't realise at the time)? maybe she thought she wanted something else? maybe you moved in too quickly? Who knows.
Anyway You have a) a roof over your head b) a job and therefore the potential of earning money and meeting people and c) you have your lovely kids. It's only just the start of 2013 so hopefully it won't be as bad as the end of 2012 was.
New Year, New Start
df

whitewing

No matter how bad it feels now, you won't always be crying so much.

You children will love you, that's their default setting. In some ways, you don't want to seek out their 'missing you' tendencies. They should be able to trust that you will always be there for them when they pick up the phone.

I can't remember what sex your children are. If one of them is a little girl, go and buy the Sunday Times - there is a good article in the Style section called 'Raising Girls Right'.

marisco_2

alpha2005 wrote: »

my children have just called me to say that they love me and miss me, this has started me off crying again.

Tears of joy I hope

Your kids love you, because of the great dad you are to them, for all you do for them, for how you make them feel. They miss you because of all those reasons too.

You are in their thoughts and they wanted to contact you and hear your voice. They may be young but they wanted to talk to you and catch up. That is a huge positive.

There are some little kids out there who dont have a father who means all these things to them. Be really proud that you have two wonderful, healthy little kids who think the world of you.

Sending a cyber (((HUG))) and hoping your sunday evening is a pleasant one.

alpha2005

Thanks for all the messages guys, it really means a lot. After last night i got up this morning and have tried to be busy, until now.

I have managed to get my washing, drying and ironing done as well as starting to sort the house how i want it. The kitchen, dining room and lounge have been blitzed. I can not face going into the childrens room, when i look at the door i start to cry, knowing they are not here.

I am just trying to look forward to seeing them on Friday and having them with me all weekend until Sunday evening.

It is the evenings that are the hardest times for me.

alpha2005

dancingfairy wrote: »

I think the best way to meet new people would be to join a club - perhaps a sports club. Then if you can't talk etc its not really a big deal as you'll all be running around playing football/rugby whatever - group sports are good.

I used to go to the gym and really enjoyed it, especially after a long say at work. I have checked and there is one near my work, the best thing no contract, monthly and only £16.

Anyway You have a) a roof over your head b) a job and therefore the potential of earning money and meeting people and c) you have your lovely kids. It's only just the start of 2013 so hopefully it won't be as bad as the end of 2012 was.
New Year, New Start
df

2012 was a hell of a year for me and a year i wish never came, i am so glad that it has gone and yes i do have the three things you highlighted.

The problem with me and my illness is i can not look at the positives, i am hoping that my CBT will change this and help me to think differently.