Don't know what to do!

alpha2005

I know i am not the only one, and there are people in worse situations, i just dont know how to cope. Due to my illness i did not work for 3 months and in order to get a lease on a house i had to pay 6 months upfront and have no money until the end of January.

I simply can not afford to move to a busier location, the rent is more and i have no saving left.

alpha2005

I know i am depressed Whitewing and i felt that i was starting to look up, but with her walking out on me it has put me in a worse place then i was before.

I find it very hard to talk to people over the phone or face to face, the same reason i find it very hard to make friends.

I am on medication for my depression, Ruboxatine and this was working better than any of the other ones i was on.

[Deleted User]

Sorry if you thought i was being harsh, i wasnt, i just meant that i dont want you to feel alone in the situation you are in.

alpha2005

ImDoingItForMe wrote: »

Sorry if you thought i was being harsh, i wasnt, i just meant that i dont want you to feel alone in the situation you are in.

I didn't think that, its just i feel very alone.

whitewing

Telephone helplines will know how difficult some people will find it to talk. They are still there to support you. Maybe just call them for 5 minutes. If Cruse doesn't feel right tonight, then maybe the Samaritans will feel right tomorrow night.

You can email the Samaritans too, but I think email communication can be tricky. If you want lots of sympathy you may get a response that says how does that make you feel? But perhaps you could say what sort of reply you may find helpful, so you could email with maybe three tiny things you want to achieve this week, and say that you would find it helpful if they checked that you have done them, and if they said two things that other people find helpful.

How recent was the split with the wife and the new job? It sounds relatively soon.

[Deleted User]

I think everyone can relate to feeling alone in their live at one time or another. I know ive had periods of loneliness. It takes a lot of getting used to, some people are ok with it, but i like to have people around.

marisco_2

alpha2005 wrote: »

The whole mental health issues have been going on for over 8 years, since my father passed away very suddenly.

Sudden death and dealing with your feelings of grief in the aftermath of it can be crippling. It can have an awful effect on someone, as you are no doubt painfully aware, when those feelings are bottled up and not addressed at the time. Was your wife pregnant with your eldest when you lost your dad? It sounds like life and parenthood took over and you may not have had the chance to grieve fully. As all parents on here know the first few months with a newborn takes over your life.

It seems as if the relationship with your wife is getting onto more amicable ground. She agreed to you having the children over part of Xmas and has set up regular access every other weekend. Next time she calls you could you ask her if it would be possible to arrange to call the children, even if it were only once or twice a week. If you could establish with her another form of contact with them that you could rely on, it might take alot of emotional pressure off of you.

By the way you can never cuddle a 4 and 7 year old enough. I bet they love snuggling up with their dad when they visit you. Correct me if I am wrong but would it help you greatly to feel more confidant and happy about the relationship you have with your ex? You may not be a couple any more but you will always be linked by being parents to your children. To have a strong, positive relationship whereby you can communicate well, listen to each other and support each other in being the best mum and dad you can be to two lovely kids would be a great thing. Would your ex be agreeable to trying to do this?

alpha2005

i am not sure if it is sympathy i want or a way to vent. I have the number of the local mental health crisis team and have thought about calling them a number of times today but have chickened out.

The split from the wife was the start of last year and the job was only start of this last week.

I know i am a people person, its people around me that keep me going, my family do not understand my condition and think that mental health issues dont exist, so i cant even talk to them about it.

alpha2005

marisco wrote: »

Sudden death and dealing with your feelings of grief in the aftermath of it can be crippling. It can have an awful effect on someone, as you are no doubt painfully aware, when those feelings are bottled up and not addressed at the time. Was your wife pregnant with your eldest when you lost your dad? It sounds like life and parenthood took over and you may not have had the chance to grieve fully. As all parents on here know the first few months with a newborn takes over your life.

Yes she was 4 weeks pregnant when he died. We did not even know. The last words my dad said was "little one", we did not know what he meant until a couple of weeks later.

By the way you can never cuddle a 4 and 7 year old enough. I bet they love snuggling up with their dad when they visit you. Correct me if I am wrong but would it help you greatly to feel more confidant and happy about the relationship you have with your ex? You may not be a couple any more but you will always be linked by being parents to your children. To have a strong, positive relationship whereby you can communicate well, listen to each other and support each other in being the best mum and dad you can be to two lovely kids would be a great thing. Would your ex be agreeable to trying to do this?

She wants very little to do with me and it was only cos she wanted to go away that she let me see them. She did not like that she was with someone earning inexcess of £40k and not having to work to being on benefits and struggling.

alpha2005

I have just re read your recent post marisco and i have tried to think about the positives from the relationship with the ex wife and this also gets me very down, knowing what we had and the children.