My Tattoo will say mug !

londonsurrey

Sweetheart, I know it's strangely irresistible to keep on reading the texts, but you can turn off the phone.

It took me years, but I've learnt to not open letters or accept calls from my abusive mother for the same reason (husbands and mothers are supposed to love and protect you, aren't they?). You KNOW it's going to make you upset - don't help him upset you by keeping on taking the bait.

duchy

Woah steady !

He's probably telling her a pile of lies too and having children and later being single is NOT a crime or an indication of morals . This poor woman (poor because she's got lumbered with this creep) may have had a cheating husband/partner too.

OP It *is* hard and you'll probably wonder if you could have done something differently-but it is what it is ......and if you can take a step back and think what you'd tell your best friend if she were in your position -it may help. Hold your head high -all you did was love him but he was too stupid to see what he had. Remember that if he comes crawling back -and turn your phone OFF please ! <hug>

sassyblue wrote: »

Because you let him.

Until such time that you don't want him texting you at all you will be in pain.

Text him back, tell him to stop lying and grow some 8alls, then tell him where you've seen his car. Wish him a nice life with his wh*res, turn your phone off and start the grieving process.

As for the fact that they all have kids, still makes them loose women! He's probably with them because they'll sleep with any old scrote. I pity the kids seeing what's going on, at least when you have them they'll be the product of a happy committed relationship.

I've seen friends go through similar and l wouldn't mind betting as soon as you get tough he comes running back with all sorts of promises, it's the challenge some of these men like but he won't change.

You're worth more OP. xxx

sadandbetrayed

this morning i feel so close to the edge that i have no clue what to do, i wonder what will push me over.

i just want to crawl under the duvet and hide for the next 3 or 4 months and hope that this will all resolve itself without the need for any input from me


i also need to face the fact that i will probably never have children now which is so painful but my own fault, i have left it too late.

sassyblue

duchy wrote: »

Woah steady !

He's probably telling her a pile of lies too and having children and later being single is NOT a crime or an indication of morals . This poor woman (poor because she's got lumbered with this creep) may have had a cheating husband/partner too.

True, it was just advice to make the OP feel better. I'd be surprised if these women didn't know he was married though.

OP, how old are you?

sadandbetrayed

they have all known he is married ! i do not understand women who think this is acceptable just because he probably spins them a line about the "wife" not understanding him probably

i am 40, 41 in a few months

WantToBeSE

The 'Other Woman' wasnt the one who stood next to you on your wedding day and made vows to you. She isnt the one who promised not to cheat. She wasnt the one who ruined your marriage.
Your husband did all of those things-so blame him, not the 'other woman'.

Sweetheart-41 is not too old to have babies, dont lose hope.

NAR

Go and get yourself pregnant by someone else. Then next year you will be one of these women that he preys on; grateful that a man will take a woman with a young child on.

duchy

sadandbetrayed wrote: »

they have all known he is married ! i do not understand women who think this is acceptable just because he probably spins them a line about the "wife" not understanding him probably

i am 40, 41 in a few months

Yes he lies to you -no doubt he lies to them too.

As for kids ........if you stick around waiting for him to (maybe) come back and then wait til you feel secure enough to have his child -yes it will almost certainly be too late.........but if you set him adrift and get on with your life -it is certainly more of a possibility (but that does mean you need to come out from under that duvet sooner rather than later )

sadandbetrayed

maybe i should feel sorry for them, they obviously don't feel good enough about themselves to get a bloke who is available so fall for the c*** that mine tells them.

this is all still to "new" to think about the future, at the moment i don't even feel i want a future

I've seen other friends go through similar things and then bounce from one bloke to another, i don't want that, i don't think i can do that

balletshoes

sadandbetrayed wrote: »

this morning i feel so close to the edge that i have no clue what to do, i wonder what will push me over.

i just want to crawl under the duvet and hide for the next 3 or 4 months and hope that this will all resolve itself without the need for any input from me


i also need to face the fact that i will probably never have children now which is so painful but my own fault, i have left it too late.

thats exactly what my sister felt like doing when her husband left her - its fine to feel like that, you won't do it for 3 or 4 months, but if you want to do it for a few days, go for it!