Daughter absolutely potless dont know where to turn

Gentile

shazm.69 wrote: »

Willing to pay did i say that??? You need to get your facts right mate. They were living with her partners grandparents his mother his brother,sister and partner and uncle in total 11 people in one house. The grandparents had health issues and money problems. They said they would have the children live with them not pay for child support. My daughter was controlled by them she didnt have a say on the childrens upbringing. The spanish grandparents were feeding a 3 yr old with jars of baby food and she was still in nappies. Now she is out of nappies and dry at night and eating the same foods we do. She is due to start playschool here next week and her english is excellent after just 2 months. So in my opinion they are better off here in a more civilised society.

Wasnt it your decision to uproot your family and your daughter and move to the uncivilised society ? If you hadnt moved there, your daughter would not have found herself hitched with a spaniard who knows how to pop out kids but not how to take care of them.

ILW

shazm.69 wrote: »

Willing to pay did i say that??? You need to get your facts right mate. They were living with her partners grandparents his mother his brother,sister and partner and uncle in total 11 people in one house. The grandparents had health issues and money problems. They said they would have the children live with them not pay for child support. My daughter was controlled by them she didnt have a say on the childrens upbringing. The spanish grandparents were feeding a 3 yr old with jars of baby food and she was still in nappies. Now she is out of nappies and dry at night and eating the same foods we do. She is due to start playschool here next week and her english is excellent after just 2 months. So in my opinion they are better off here in a more civilised society.

And why is all that anything to do with the British taxpayer?

shazm.69

Gentile wrote: »

Wasnt it your decision to uproot your family and your daughter and move to the uncivilised society ? If you hadnt moved there, your daughter would not have found herself hitched with a spaniard who knows how to pop out kids but not how to take care of them.

Yes it was our decision and its our fault i didnt say it wasnt. but it wasnt my fault my husband deserted us and that spain went down the pan it was fine when we first moved there. Now go away Genital and get a life instead of interfering in other peoples!
Woops slight spelling mistake there maybe i need english lessons!

iluvmarmite

shazm.69 wrote: »

Willing to pay did i say that??? You need to get your facts right mate. They were living with her partners grandparents his mother his brother,sister and partner and uncle in total 11 people in one house. The grandparents had health issues and money problems. They said they would have the children live with them not pay for child support. My daughter was controlled by them she didnt have a say on the childrens upbringing. The spanish grandparents were feeding a 3 yr old with jars of baby food and she was still in nappies. Now she is out of nappies and dry at night and eating the same foods we do. She is due to start playschool here next week and her english is excellent after just 2 months. So in my opinion they are better off here in a more civilised society.

In your first post you state the children are always poorly through lack of proper food, what food do you eat then as you now say they eat the same food as you do.

It's actually not uncommon for a 3 year old to be in nappies as all children are different and some are quicker to potty train than others.

The only people who will help you now is child services and they won't take the kids they will help get food and clothing for them as well as helping with benefits. Your daughter and her partner have been here for over 2 months now and in that time I would have thought he would have found some kind of work, agencies employ a lot of over seas personnel to work in factories, not the most glamorous of jobs but quite good money, and from what I have heard factory and farm owners prefer to employ non English workers as they are more hard working (that's what I saw on a tv programme by the way, it's not my opinion)

There are loads of people who come over from various countries and have to wait in line to past various tests for benefits should they need to claim, so your daughter will have to wait untill it's her time and nothing can be done to change that, yes seek out help from other agencies but it's a bit unfair to expect her to get help before others who have been waiting a lot longer than she has.

If she is put out on the street by you for the intention of being made homeless and getting a house/flat then she will be in for a nasty shock as she will be put in emergency accommodation which will probably be a B&B where they will all be in one room and not very nice, or a hostel which is horrible, and they will have to stay there for maybe a couple of years or so.

Yes you are in a bad situation right now but it really is a case of making the best of it because that's all you have and all you will have for the foreseeable future unless one or both of the adults get a job.

bloomingflower

ILW wrote: »

I think most of the "judgement" is to why the OP thinks that the British state should be expected to support and house what are in effect a Spanish family.

So if that's the case,then why does MSE even bother to have a forum to offer help and advice for benefit claimants? Why does any other website for that matter? Is this not what the OP came on here for in the first place? Whether in UK,Spain or elsewhere.. we have posters from other countries.

This same "british state" are bringing in the new Universal Credits and are expected to 'support' more new claimants by the end of this year...and?

debrag wrote: »

I don't thats why I said I hope she is like my sister not the kids from school.

I agree,which is why I pointed that out in the first place. We don't know everything about her daughters future plans as none of us are 'mediums' with a crystal ball in our hands and we can't read her mind.

The point I was making is that everyone needs a chance to get back on their feet which is what the Op and her daughter are trying to do. Why do some posters feel the need to persecute them?

I think this thread is going round in circles and should come to end given it is 7 pages too long and suggest to the OP to not come back here to post as I feel that she has to tell her whole life story and keep justifying herself only to be shot down which she doesn't have to do.

barnaby-bear

shazm.69 wrote: »

Thanks for all the helpful advice. My daughter got in touch with a benefit decision maker and was told she had failed the test as she has not been in the country long enough. She was told she can re take the test, but the people in the job centre said she cant take it again she gets told different things by different people. Some of them dont even know what a hrt test is. Her partner is desperate to work he is a proud man and doesnt like handouts. The granparents in spain would have let the children stay as it was only them they cared about they totally took over with the upbringing of them and my daughter didnt get a look in. My daughter was there alone with none of her family to turn to. She has been trying to get back to UK since i came back. It wasnt her fault she was dragged to spain by her parents. Then her father deserted us all there and then everthing went wrong for us all. Yes she was silly to have 2 children so young but we wouldnt be without them now.

It's pretty pointless debating past wrong life decisions - th ecoloured bits are the relevent bits.

1) Do you have an official decision in writing?

2) Have you had someone who understands the criteria read it? Asylum/immigration charities do this.
Have you downloaded all the case studies and rules yourself?

3) Find out when she can re-apply - read the legislation!

4) What obstacles is the partner finding to getting work? What can he do? What are his skills/qualifications? Have you asked any questions to solve that problem e.g. where are there jobs doing XXX? What language courses are available (again immigration charities)? Is there a spanish social club, could he offer GCSE spanish tutoring? Teach salsa? Cook/waiter in a tapas/mexican restaurant? Is there a spanish community (if a big city) who might help them adjust/integrate/look after their own.

Arguing whether morally she is entitled is pointless.... either she is or isn't and you need to look at the HRT legislation. And if she isn't look at the job obstacles.

iluvmarmite

bloomingflower wrote: »

So if that's the case,then why does MSE even bother to have a forum to offer help and advice for benefit claimants? Why does any other website for that matter? Is this not what the OP came on here for in the first place? Whether in UK,Spain or elsewhere.. we have posters from other countries.

This same "british state" are bringing in the new Universal Credits and are expected to 'support' more new claimants by the end of this year...and?




I agree,which is why I pointed that out in the first place. We don't know everything about her daughters future plans as none of us are 'mediums' with a crystal ball in our hands and we can't read her mind.

The point I was making is that everyone needs a chance to get back on their feet which is what the Op and her daughter are trying to do. Why do some posters feel the need to persecute them?

I think this thread is going round in circles and should come to end given it is 7 pages too long and suggest to the OP to not come back here to post as I feel that she has to tell her whole life story and keep justifying herself only to be shot down which she doesn't have to do.

From some of the strong words the OP has used towards other members I think she is more than capable of defending herself and being shot down results in a barrage from her so I don't some of the persecution (as you put it) posts worry her that much

Miss_Havisham

I won't be popular saying this but hey-ho.

The whole family life is a shambles and has been so for ages going by the OP's story. Lurching from one problem to the next, taking risks without any back-up, no planning and forethought etc etc.

As a taxpayer WHY should I be bending over backwards to hand money over to you. Benefits are there to help people as a last resort wen they are desperate through no fault of their own. You and your family are the architects of your own problems.

Lets hope your son in law has tied a knot in it so there are no more "surprises" in the pipeline.

Miss H

ILW

co

bloomingflower wrote: »

So if that's the case,then why does MSE even bother to have a forum to offer help and advice for benefit claimants? Why does any other website for that matter? Is this not what the OP came on here for in the first place? Whether in UK,Spain or elsewhere.. we have posters from other countries.
This same "british state" are bringing in the new Universal Credits and are expected to 'support' more new claimants by the end of this year...and?




.

So you believe that anyone from a foreign country should be allowed to just turn up and be housed and fed buy UK social services despite never having contributed a penny to the coffers?

This is whilst we are letting our own pensioners die because they cannot afford to heat their homes.

I do not think universal credit means that it will be given to anyone that asks.

Dunroamin

shazm.69 wrote: »

Willing to pay did i say that??? You need to get your facts right mate. They were living with her partners grandparents his mother his brother,sister and partner and uncle in total 11 people in one house. The grandparents had health issues and money problems. They said they would have the children live with them not pay for child support. My daughter was controlled by them she didnt have a say on the childrens upbringing. The spanish grandparents were feeding a 3 yr old with jars of baby food and she was still in nappies. Now she is out of nappies and dry at night and eating the same foods we do. She is due to start playschool here next week and her english is excellent after just 2 months. So in my opinion they are better off here in a more civilised society.

Hasn't your daughter been teaching her children English while living in Spain?