Daughter absolutely potless dont know where to turn

bloolagoon

miduck wrote: »

Pressure from any source is not going to change the fact that they do not pass the HRT. They need to appeal this decision, which will be considered in due course - you're not suggesting they try to jump ahead of other claimants, are you?

No I am suggesting they look at other means that benefits in the short term. They are putting all their eggs in one basket, one I don't think will be quick.

Social Services may be able to allocate a bed and breakfast situation, or provide a food parcel or some toys, baby milk. Health Visitors may also be able to provide milk or vouchers. Outside agencies have crisis budgets too.

Whilst OP is merely applying for benefits and not looking at other sources it isn't beneficial. There are other family members who also need to take their share and in short they need work and quick.

If the family went to Social Services and said we are 100% homeless, my children are on the street as of now and I have no money my children will starve they'd act in the needs of the children.

debrag

shazm.69 wrote: »

I am going to get thrown off this forum because of people like you and your stupid remarks. You obviously have never had children as you would never suggest giving them away. You dont know how it feels to be a mother. How ridiculous you really are!

Maybe she just means via sending money for the kids rather than sending the kids to live with them.

bloomingflower

shazm.69 wrote: »

Because she is only 20 and was there alone and homeless she needed her MUM!

shazm.69 wrote: »

Did i say they left a home over there NO i said they were made homeless!
Do you honestly think i would allow my daughter to live on the streets in a foreign country she didnt choose to move to spain we all went and then her Dad deserted us and moved back to uk. We were all stuck there i was working 8 hrs a day for 25 euros 7 days a week and still couldnt afford to live.

Dunroamin wrote: »

But she hasn't come back to the UK so that her mother can look after her, has she?

My two penneth worth;

I think if I was in the same situation as the OP, I would do exactly the same as her. I would not want my daughter to be left alone in another country with out no other means of support. Its only natural for a mother to do everything in her power to help her child no matter what their age. And it is quite clear as stated from the OP's above posts that the daughter did in fact come back to the UK so that her mum could look after her given her fragile state of mind.

After reading most of the posts on this thread which is now rather long and winded I just cant believe the nasty comments that some posters have made on here.Truly shocking.

For everyone who commented about the daughter "being irresponsible by having too many children at such a young age" just take five minutes to look around you as you most definitely either have relatives or friends who have also had children at a young age too! so get off your high horses and stop being so judgemental towards the OP and her daughter.

ILW

The issue is that OP wants her daughter to be with her, but expects others to pick up all the bills. Even though she has family in Spain that should and it appears are willing to pay.

debrag

bloomingflower wrote: »

My two penneth worth;

I think if I was in the same situation as the OP, I would do exactly the same as her. I would not want my daughter to be left alone in another country with out no other means of support. Its only natural for a mother to do everything in her power to help her child no matter what their age. And it is quite clear as stated from the OP's above posts that the daughter did in fact come back to the UK so that her mum could look after her given her fragile state of mind.

After reading most of the posts on this thread which is now rather long and winded I just cant believe the nasty comments that some posters have made on here.Truly shocking.

For everyone who commented about the daughter "being irresponsible by having too many children at such a young age" just take five minutes to look around you as you most definitely either have relatives or friends who have also had children at a young age too! so get off your high horses and stop being so judgemental towards the OP and her daughter.

I looked around thanks, two student from school got pregnant while still in school - not worked a day in there life's, my sister on the other hand has 4 kids at 32 (one at 18) but worked, got a degree and now has a career & 2 properties. I hope the OP's daughter is like my sister not the others. Mosts aren't unfortunatley.

bloomingflower

debrag wrote: »

I looked around thanks, two student from school got pregnant while still in school - not worked a day in there life's, my sister on the other hand has 4 kids at 32 (one at 18) but worked, got a degree and now has a career & 2 properties. I hope the OP's daughter is like my sister not the others. Mosts aren't unfortunatley.

Point taken.

However,as the daughter is only 20 herself how do you know that she may not have aspirations and ambitions of her own? and being on benefits may just be a temporary solution until she gets back on her feet?

Posters on here are too quick to judge.

szam_

bloomingflower wrote: »

For everyone who commented about the daughter "being irresponsible by having too many children at such a young age" just take five minutes to look around you as you most definitely either have relatives or friends who have also had children at a young age too! so get off your high horses and stop being so judgemental towards the OP and her daughter.

I can look around me all i like, none of my relatives/friends have made that choice. All of them have waited until they're securely employed and in a steady and happy relationship and old enough to feel they can have kids; most of them still don't and i am also doing the same.

I do know of people who just have kids to claim benefits. I never got on with these people to start with, these people are generally people i knew in High School/College where someone says "remember this person... etc." So i can see peoples points, however it is probably jumping the gun a bit to assume she's had kids just for benefits (i imagine this was never the plan being in Spain), i don't like to judge because i don't know her or her partner or 100% of the facts, or the train of thought when deciding to have kids.

'Most definately' is far from accurate, i consider all my friends sensible and responsible and understand the responsibilities of having kids and would never dream of bringing kids they can't properly support in to the world.

I actually applaud the OP for saying that her daughter having two kids wasn't the wisest thing to do at her age given the circumstances.

I will always try to be as impartial as possible. I can see why the OP is worried and i feel for her situation, and i can also see the point others are making in regards to two kids at that age.

ILW

bloomingflower wrote: »

Point taken.

However,as the daughter is only 20 herself how do you know that she may not have aspirations and ambitions of her own? and being on benefits may just be a temporary solution until she gets back on her feet?

Posters on here are too quick to judge.

I think most of the "judgement" is to why the OP thinks that the British state should be expected to support and house what are in effect a Spanish family.

debrag

bloomingflower wrote: »

Point taken.

However,as the daughter is only 20 herself how do you know that she may not have aspirations and ambitions of her own? and being on benefits may just be a temporary solution until she gets back on her feet?

Posters on here are too quick to judge.

I don't thats why I said I hope she is like my sister not the kids from school.

shazm.69

ILW wrote: »

The issue is that OP wants her daughter to be with her, but expects others to pick up all the bills. Even though she has family in Spain that should and it appears are willing to pay.

Willing to pay did i say that??? You need to get your facts right mate. They were living with her partners grandparents his mother his brother,sister and partner and uncle in total 11 people in one house. The grandparents had health issues and money problems. They said they would have the children live with them not pay for child support. My daughter was controlled by them she didnt have a say on the childrens upbringing. The spanish grandparents were feeding a 3 yr old with jars of baby food and she was still in nappies. Now she is out of nappies and dry at night and eating the same foods we do. She is due to start playschool here next week and her english is excellent after just 2 months. So in my opinion they are better off here in a more civilised society.