Daughter absolutely potless dont know where to turn

shazm.69

Gentile wrote: »

I am here to motivate people like your daughter and son in law who are considered young and able bodied to go out there, work hard and pay proper taxes into the pot from which it is then distributed to people like yourself who is a grandmother and isnt really expected to go out and work in harsh environments like bars/pubs/restaurants.

Think about it, if I did let you in on the loopholes in the system to gain massive benefits, your children might forever get trapped in it and what sort of example would they set to their children ?
HTH

They are intending to work they know they cant claim benefits for long they want to provide for themselves and hopefully in future get a mortgage and live a normal life. I will make sure they dont make the mistakes i made like moving away in search for a so called better life. And for your information i am 43 yrs old i am not an old granny and i am quite capable of working in bars and restaraunts thats what i did in spain. Yes i was a young mother maybe my daughter has followed in my footsteps. But in the long run im happy that i am a young nan. I can run around with them i dont need a zimmerframe just yet.

bloolagoon

shazm.69 wrote: »

What on earth are you talking about???
We did NOT retire to spain My then husband was working and so was i.Then he lost his job and had to return to uk to work he would come back every few weeks. Then one day he just didnt come back. He made me sell the house as he was still paying the mortgage we came out of that with hardly anything. I was working 7 days a week 8 hours a day for 3euro an hour. Then i lost that job and had absolutely nothing. We couldnt get help over there. If you cant pay your electricity bills they will come and remove your meter same with water if you cant pay they will not help you cant pay in dribs and drabs they want the full amount.
So my sister got in her car and drove down to spain and made us come back with her. We had no choice she said pack your things we are coming to get you and 2 days later they were there. They had to pay for our return as we had nothing. I didnt even have a passport had to get an emergency one. I always swore i would never leave my daughter there but i had no choice i had 3 other children to think about. I killed me to leave her. I have been sick with worry ever since. So if they have to claim benefits for a while until they find work so be it. Im just glad i have her back with me. And she hasnt got mental isuues at all she was only joking she said that in the heat of the moment. But i am worried for them the children are suffering as i cannot afford all the things they need. And for the people that say im on benefits here how do you know?? I have children including a 6 year old just because i am receiving housing benefit doesnt mean im unemployed.

My apologies I assumed as it appears wrongly that you had retired on the proceeds of your house equity from the way you worded your previous posts, I aslo assumed paternal Grandfather was in Spain.

The fact you are on benefits is important for one reason, you DO not have the funds alone to support this family, you cannot continue this way as you cannot afford it. It's not like they have moved in and things are hard but manageable, they are at crisis point financially and probably emtionally.

I think they will get their benefits or work but this isn't going to be this week or maybe this month.

So with that in mind you have to look at your options.

Ring the other grandparents and tell them they need to pay something. Your Ex should be helping his grandchildren and should their Spanish family. Tell them short term you need money and fast.

The car washing idea was purely because this morning 2 teenage laddies knocked on my door offering to wash my car. I said yes and so did a few neighbours looking at the wet driveways, so I'd estimate that they made close to £60 from my street alone this morning. Yes it is cash in hand and I am advocating work without declaring it but needs must and right now you need immediate money.

Social Services are not going to remove the children they will help. They have funds for crisis, they have ways to put pressure on housing, they know charities and support networks who can help during this temporary time along with food parcels and others.

Those two young children have my deepest sympathies and they need help, social services will not allow them to starve, or be over croweded for long. In order to get their help you need to hand over their partial care (sorry if the wording I use is incorrect), by this I mean ring them and say, I am worried I cannot feed them, the stress the family is under is tremendous, I am worried about my mental health and it's affect. They can then act if you give full disclosure.

Also you mentioned she was suicidal so when you mention that of course people are going to assume she has mental health needs (even if temporary). You seem to assume this is a bad thing, it's perfectly normal to have a bad period of mental health at times like this. They key is accepting help before it becomes long term.

I know how bad the benefits agency can be. I too have recently been unemployed and claiming benefits. They had my sign on time at 3.15 which is when the children come out of school. I had to virtually camp on their doorstep, scream for a manager to change the time of the signing on as I could not be in two places at one. Computer says no, was the response I got, until I met someone with common sense.

In short you need immediate help, I do not think you can wait until this is resolved by the Job Centre as I do not have confidence it will quickly. With than it mind beg other relatives, do whatever it takes to get some money because if you are on as low an income as I assume you are and you have been paying for them for as many weeks as you indicate you are very shortly going to be putting yourself in the position where you cannot feed them.

shazm.69

ILW wrote: »

So the Spanish grandparents are willing and able to support the children.

Why not let them?

I am going to get thrown off this forum because of people like you and your stupid remarks. You obviously have never had children as you would never suggest giving them away. You dont know how it feels to be a mother. How ridiculous you really are!

szam_

Dunroamin wrote: »

Many people post on here because they are employed to give benefits advice either professionally or as volunteers. It would be pretty silly to expect benefits claimants themselves to understand all the complications of the system; it would end up as the blind leading the blind.

I personally have been through hard times with losing jobs and feeling like i've had no help from the JCP/Government. I occasionally look over this board see if can help those genuinely in need using my experiences, i don't tend to post much (i don't think i have ever had to on this account as good advice is pretty much always already given), however this one got my attention because of so much hostility, from a couple of trolls and the OP towards people who didn't deserve it.

I am also ashamed to say i was brought up by my mother who's never really done a days work in her life and has always claimed benefits, and my brothers have also gone down the same route trying to con their way out of ever having to do any work, i'm lucky in that i'm so much like my dad, i was too proud to sit on benefits and felt bad just stepping in to the Job Centre.

To the OP: Not everyone judges people on benefits. People do need help, and those that need help will genuinely recieve it, however i don't think there is anything anyone can do here to help here if the JCP just flat out refuses regardless of how much you appeal. People can offer as much advice to a limit being on a message board. Beyond that limit you should either seek an expert in person, and even further beyond, i imagine you'd then be attempting to carry out fraud.

Rules are rules and life is tough, and in this case i'd imagine the only resolution is to tough it out and have them find work. There seems to be an over-reliance that they recieve benefits. This is exactly what is wrong with some people these days, including members of my own family.

MissPiggy50

Your dauhgter needs to make more noises, course them hassle, get down to the town haul and camp out there untill they give in, get the local paper their and tell them. they will crap it and get you your benafits.
Then your dauhgter shoudnt be touched wiv younguns, the spaniard shud look for work but dont let them force him, he can just use langauge as to make him a hard target, people think im havin a laugh but it works and anyonecan use things to your advantige, why do anythin if it dont make you beter off?
Hope your fsamily gets sorted soon, ignore these bashas here

miduck

MissPiggy50 wrote: »

Your dauhgter needs to make more noises, course them hassle, get down to the town haul and camp out there untill they give in, get the local paper their and tell them. they will crap it and get you your benafits.
Then your dauhgter shoudnt be touched wiv younguns, the spaniard shud look for work but dont let them force him, he can just use langauge as to make him a hard target, people think im havin a laugh but it works and anyonecan use things to your advantige, why do anythin if it dont make you beter off?
Hope your fsamily gets sorted soon, ignore these bashas here

Seriously Piggy, when are you going to get some English lessons?

bloolagoon

miduck wrote: »

Seriously Piggy, when are you going to get some English lessons?

They do, however, raise the point that the OP is not making enough noise. If they camped out, notified their MP and papers then someone would come along and help.

Whilst OP is stuggling to do this alone and awiting forms and someone up above to make a desicion it will take longer. Any pressure from any outside source whether a GP based on Mental Health, a Health Visitor, a Social Worker or an MP is going to speed up the process.

miduck

bloolagoon wrote: »

They do, however, raise the point that the OP is not making enough noise. If they camped out, notified their MP and papers then someone would come along and help.

Whilst OP is stuggling to do this alone and awiting forms and someone up above to make a desicion it will take longer. Any pressure from any outside source whether a GP based on Mental Health, a Health Visitor, a Social Worker or an MP is going to speed up the process.

Pressure from any source is not going to change the fact that they do not pass the HRT. They need to appeal this decision, which will be considered in due course - you're not suggesting they try to jump ahead of other claimants, are you?

sammyjammy

shazm.69 wrote: »

Thanks for all the helpful advice. My daughter got in touch with a benefit decision maker and was told she had failed the test as she has not been in the country long enough. She was told she can re take the test, but the people in the job centre said she cant take it again she gets told different things by different people. Some of them dont even know what a hrt test is. Her partner is desperate to work he is a proud man and doesnt like handouts. The granparents in spain would have let the children stay as it was only them they cared about they totally took over with the upbringing of them and my daughter didnt get a look in. My daughter was there alone with none of her family to turn to. She has been trying to get back to UK since i came back. It wasnt her fault she was dragged to spain by her parents. Then her father deserted us all there and then everthing went wrong for us all. Yes she was silly to have 2 children so young but we wouldnt be without them now.

Do not take benefit advice from the people working in the Jobcentre, it is not their job and they are not trained to give this advice.

ILW

Why not push the Spaniards for some cash?