How to stop toddler hitting and throwing things at mum?

Nicki

skintchick wrote: »

A child is just a young person learning about the world and trying to make sense of it, and our job is to help them, not punish them by withdrawing our love when it becomes overhelming for them.

Giving a toddler a 2 minute time out to calm down after they have been aggressive is not withdrawing love, any more than leaving them in bed without their bedtime story is!

Everyone has the right to parent in their own way, but some of your recent posts skintchick have been way OTT about how the majority of parents do things. I appreciate that you feel that your way is right for your child, but that doesn't mean that you have the monopoly on feeling that way, or that only you loves your child or is doing it right :mad:

vroombroom

skintchick wrote: »

So what do you define being a child as then?

Is a child inherently bad? Programmed to behave badly? You seem to think so but I don't agree.

A child is just a young person learning about the world and trying to make sense of it, and our job is to help them, not punish them by withdrawing our love when it becomes overhelming for them.

are you for real? so thousands and millions of parents who do time outs are punishing their kids by, as you say, withdrawing their love?? Honestly?!

Its a one strike rule in my house. If our son (20 months) starts messing around, he gets told once and once only. We put him in the time out spot and he understands it.

Teenie_D

skintchick wrote: »

A child is just a young person learning about the world and trying to make sense of it, and our job is to help them, not punish them by withdrawing our love when it becomes overhelming for them.

:mad::mad: How dare you, who the hell do you think you are!!! You have your ways skintchick which is all very well and good as they obviously work for you and I have my ways which work for me, but I too am getting sick of the way you go on about how we are bad parents doing things that you don't agree with. I don't necessarily agree with your parenting style but I wouldn't dream of TELLING you that it was wrong!

sharkeybabe

skintchick wrote: »

So what do you define being a child as then?

Is a child inherently bad? Programmed to behave badly? You seem to think so but I don't agree.

A child is just a young person learning about the world and trying to make sense of it, and our job is to help them, not punish them by withdrawing our love when it becomes overhelming for them.

Oh jeez. We all have the right to bring our children up the way we wish. My dd is not loved any less because I put her in time out however I think that children need rules and if they break them then they get punished. Simples. I do find though that you as a poster can be quite judgemental and insulting.

skintchick

Have a look at the links I posted. It explains it. I know you don;t want to hear it, but timeouts are a withdrawal of love for that time period.

And I don;t leave DD in bed without stories, we stay with her in her room till she goes to sleep, she just doesn;t always get all of her stories if she doesn't help get ready for bed.

I'm not judging anyone, just offering a different viewpoint. The OP wanted some ideas and opinions, and I'm offering some different ones to yours, that's all. I haven;t said anyone is a bad parent.

vroombroom

hahahah withdrawal of love, seriously though? So you get two minutes of time out and for that two minutes I don't love my son? Pull the other one love.

If I was lead to believe everything I read, because my son goes to nursery he is more depressed than a child who stays at home and because he was bottle fed - boo hiss - he is more likely to become a thief (both in the DailyFail last year hahahaha). Absolute nonsense.

CH27

skintchick wrote: »

So what do you define being a child as then?

Is a child inherently bad? Programmed to behave badly? You seem to think so but I don't agree.

A child is just a young person learning about the world and trying to make sense of it, and our job is to help them, not punish them by withdrawing our love when it becomes overhelming for them.

Bonkers :rotfl::rotfl:

mountainofdebt

I hate these sort of posts because I suddenly feel like the mother from hell.

ellay864

Timeout isn't withdrawing love. It's helping to set boundaries which in turn helps children understand the world...that some things are acceptable, some are not, that actions can have consequences. It's what parents who love their children will want them to understand

Yorkie1

I know a 5-year old who still throws things when he doesn't get his own way. Pure temper tantrum in a bid for control - he's not tired, or hungry etc. Just cross at being told 'no', and he knows what he's doing.

I remember thinking 2-3 years ago that if boundaries weren't consistently set then, that there would still be problems later on. And unfortunately I wasn't wrong.