How to stop toddler hitting and throwing things at mum?

zaksmum

Grandson's 23 months, developing normally, bright and happy.

In the last few weeks he's started hitting his mum and throwing things at her if, for example, he doesn't want to go in the bath...he actually loves bath time.

He's their first child and dad lives with them.

Any tips on how to stop the hitting and throwing?

pinkshoes

My 25 month old gets a warning then put in time-out for 2 minutes if he does it again (Supernanny style!).

He HATES time-out, so generally stops after the warning.

EDIT: just to say that if you threaten time out, ALWAYS follow through with it, otherwise it doesn't work. No second warnings etc...

an9i77

My little one is the same age and started recently to be defiant /tantrums. I thought if he's old enough to be naughty he's old enough to be disciplined so have just started to discipline him. I give him warning, has no effect, then take him out of the room for 2 mins. Supernanny says if you do this at this age it will make it much easier further down the line!

tenke

Funny you should mention Supernanny !!:eek:

I dont have children but if I did, I would follow some of her techniques as they seem to work effectively :D:D

princessdon

At first just try an its not nice and ignore it. No drama no attention just acknowledgement that its not ok to do it and distraction or move on.

an9i77

At first I felt like I was being this horrible, mean parent but one thing that helped is she says it is actually very confusing for a child to think they are in charge, they push the boundaries so that they know what the rules are, no rules = confusion. So although my son kicks and screams at me if I tell him off I know that really he will appreciate it!

Errata

Actions need consequences, if there are no consequences the actions continue. What's the child's mother doing as a consequence of being hit and having things thrown at her?

skintchick

I don't agree with time-outs.

What we do here (DD is 3.5) is firmly and consistently remind her that hitting is not nice and not acceptable. I operate on consequences, so for example at bedtime she will be told that hitting (or whatever) is not acceptable and if she continues she will lose one of her bedtime stories. If she hits again, I remind again and tell her she will lose a story, then if it happens again the story is lost.

I also try and find out why she is doing it. So I would say something like "you seem very cross with mummy right now, can you tell me what you are cross about?" obviously depends on how verbal the child is but my DD was chatting away at 16 months so this has worked for us for a long time.

I reassure her I love her even if she hits me, but that it's not acceptable to hit.

They do test boundaries regularly but being consistent and firm without being unkind is the key to success.

QUICK EDIT: to add stuff on why I don't do timeouts, for anyone interested
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/timeouts
http://livingpeacefullywithchildren.com/2010/02/27/the-disadvantages-of-time-out/

Teenie_D

I don't have a problem with time out, works for me and my two but everyone has their own styles of discipline and you just have to find the one that works and that you are comfortable with.

I agree with the other posters you have to always follow through with any punishment you threaten with wether it be time out or toys being taken away etc and I would also nip it in the bud now to save any more hassle further down the line, no point trying to start discipline a few years down the line.

meritaten

I beleive that with very young children then consequences should be 'immediate'. otherwise, the poor things have no idea why they are being punished hours later!
I do timeout with the grandkids and so do thier parents - and I agree with others that you MUST be consistent!
and yes, Two is not too young to start with this - they soon learn!

sharkeybabe

My dd is the same age and unfortunately have the same problem. I do find a raised voice and a threat to take fave teddy away does the trick. If she does continue she will be put in timeout for 2.mins. hard work sometimes but all part of terrible twos.