Not being in the school clique! ***UPDATE***

Bagpuss1973

I would tell the priest and then simply stop doing all the favours for people. If little Miss X needs a lift home, don't be rude but just be unavailable for this type of thing anymore. Rise above it..at the end of the day they are not worth it.

Big hugs to your little girl though, hope she has a wonderful day

Bagpussxx

Bettyboop

Golly, my daughter is starting school in September and this scenario surrounding invites to this and that already has me worried. I never want her to feel excluded from anything and like me she is quite sensitive. Hopefully if and when it ever happens I will know how to deal with it.

What a shame this has happened to your daughter. Do you think it's possible that there was just a misunderstanding? Did the organisers forget to invite you (even if you didn't want to go) or is it more personal than that?

MISS_ATTITUDE1

i also would tell you wife to rise above it hard though it will be.
my children go to catholic school and things along similar lines happen all the time.
maybe next time all those horrible mothers are in church saying their prayers!!!!!!!!!!they might think about what they have done to those 4 children and their families.
i hope the sun shines and your little princess has the best day ever with her very special family.
hugs to your wife if it was me i would feel the same but tell her to rise above them and get her revenge next time any of them as for a favour.
hopfully what goes around comes around

vik6525

Gawd.. my ds is in catholic school too, and its full of b*tchy little cliques... I just ignore em all myself,and stand talking to the (famous) boxer who picks his kids up every day... we're well 'ard us! we dont need no clique!
(just to add, makes you wonder about catholic school though dont it???)

Janepig

It doesn't just happen in catholic schools!! I posted on here afew weeks ago about how I was standing in between two [STRIKE]biatches[/STRIKE] mothers at DD's school and they were talking over my head about the "mums night out" that had been organised for the following week and who was going, which I patently wasn't invited to!!! They were so in my face I had to turn my head to not actually be in the conversation yet they had no thought that I may be upset at being left out (I wasn't btw).

I think it's so evil to leave just afew of the children out - I mean I'm having a party for DD's birthday soon and can't afford to invite all 30 children in DD's class so I've invited about 9 of the ones she seems to talk about most often but still feel really guilty. I've had a chat with one of the other mums today and it turns out that her DD has her birthday two days after my DD so we've agreed to have a joint party next year and we can invite all the children.

Hope everything turns out okay for you all anyway Dto3.

Jxx

Peakma

Just a thought but,is it just a word of mouth event? Could it be that your wife is so popular ,all the other Mums were just assuming another Mum had already mentioned it to her?

frenchconnection200

My DS had his Holy communion last year and there is always a party afterwards where the parents contribute. Obviously not everyone can go to all the meetings so some parents only found out they had to bring an item of food with a week to go. There was no cliqueness it was just one parent thought another would have told them etc. I'm not defending anyone in this case perhaps it is a case of a clique (I see them at work/school/nursery even the street I live on!!) but perhaps it was just an oversight.

Lillibet_2

I'm with your wife on this one, I wouldn't be able to let it rest. It's nothing less than bullying. I think I'd struggle not to let rip with some of the other mums who are involverd that have put on your good nature in the past. I agree a word to boh the headmistress & the priest is totally in order, what if your daughter had been upset being excluded....? There is a strong chance someone's child is unhappy & possibly their parents don't know why.

Good luck whatever you decide & I really hope you & your daughter are still able to enjoy your special day & not let this spoil it.

frenchconnection200

Incidentally when you see your DD on the day and during the service I can assure it is so lovely that spiteful women will pale into insignificance. They'll all be worrying about whose daughter has the most expensive dress, which of the mothers looks the thinnest etc. and that will carry on to their party. Your wife meanwhile can go home to her own party, with her own friends and family and relax.

Daddyto3

Wow thanks so much for all taking the time to post, my wife has read all posts and is truly appreciative.

We thought we would post a final update for you all.

My wife still couldn't get it out of her system, (and as playground gossip spreads like wildfire) and a couple of days have passed various mothers have come up to her both those going to the party and those not, and have all explained that what has happened shouldn't have happened and that YES she was totally in the right for expressing her opinions. And they would have all done the same!

They have all also agreed to be told that it was *personal invitation only* was a load of rubbish, and that this party had started with 5 of the mums who are also friends out of school having a party for 5 girls who all go to a certain swimming club together. That was all. Which is fair enough.

But;-
Then other mothers have joined in saying "can i come?" and "can suchabodys mother come", this is how it has grown.

The mother that had said *it was personal invitation only* has had it in the neck from all the others, and she has agreed that yes it was the wrong thing to say, and has apologised. She hadn't mean it to come across as it did, and she too would be mortified if she thought anyone would have left her child out too. (she was in tears..)

They have all invited us and the other children along, but we declined pleasantly, and said we have our own arrangements, thankyou.

TBH a lot of the mums that are going are now sorry they are, they have said that the initial plan was to all chip in and make their own buffet, BUT the venue they have booked doesn't allow this and have their own caterers who charge £9.50 per head !!! So most of these mums who have invited 15 people to come along now have to find £142 each to foot the bill!!! (instead of the rumoured £20)

We only live in a small village, so will be lovely and quiet round here on the day, as everyone else with be at the *bash*

Can see it all kicking off on the day, and glad we are well out of it.....;)