Time to stop pretending it will be ok!

LannieDuck

Your house sounds lovely. As long as it doesn't impact on the boys too much, I would fight to keep it too.

[Deleted User]

Sounds a bit like here, we love our old station but are surrounded by big country piles owned by the mega rich and friendly farms. Beach is a short drive.

Anyway having only have 14 years to go on your mort is bloody brilliant. With our current 20% overpayments [max allowed taking 5 years off the orig term] we are scheduled to be MF Oct 2030. However we are saving to pay in a large chunk of cash in a years time at the remortgage to speed it up even more.

The great thing about being frugal and having opted out of consumerism is that cheap holidays within the UK are rewarded with the Maldives every three years

I don't think our child misses out at all.

All the best!

runforlife

julie2710 wrote: »

CFC, I'm really sorry, I don't know why your posts annoy me just a little bit. I do appreciate what you say but in all honesty I'm not sure your are reading the big picture. OK so things are tight right now but if you read my diary you would see that I do do things with my children and we do enjoy things. We've had two holidays this year, ok not abroad but we've always had a great time. We went to Legoland in the summer courtesy of a friend who works there. There are also loads of things you can do free. We've camped in the garden, cycled, walked gone to the beach, made stuff. My eldest is part of a theatre group and has performed in quite a lot of shows this summer and has more to come. We've been to the theatre and the ballet. We eat well and healthily. I would rather take cheaper holidays and find free entertainment and have friends and family and a support network close by and live in a house that we all love with a decent garden that the boys spend hours and hours in than move somewhere we don't have friends, the boys have to leave a school they love where DS1 gets a massive amount of support through the rubbish his dad throws at him and then find I have to spend that extra £200 on professional childcare just to go to work or have any kind of social life at all! End result not better off financially and all unhappy having left somewhere that we were happy in.

Good answer. Good fighting talk too!

MoneyMission

I just wanted to say that I think what you are doing is absolutely the right thing. Its right because its your life and you know what makes you and your boys happy. That support network that keeps you going, picks you up when you're down or is there just for a cuppa and a natter is totally invaluable. Even more so when you're on your own.

So, keep going strong, brave and clever lady. You have your plan and it is a good one.

MM
x

vasseur

As someone who moved areas for convenience and to save money and who absolutely hated it I would say DON'T do it!! There is nothing more miserable than having a hard day at work and coming back to a home you hate. Well, you just don't feel like you are going home.:( I put up with it for over 3 years and then moved again (so wasn't cost effective anyway although I am so happy now).

If the positives outweigh the negatives then stay put. Your home life sounds lovely as it is and if everything is manageable then I see no reason to change.

happydays_70

Julie..I have read your whole story. Your situation is sooo similar to mine. I have a big mortgage, work full time, have two children, difficult to say the least relationship with ex of 5 yrs.
I have started a couple of threads to see if there were people in my situation or comments and advice that would help me make decisions about staying in my home or moving.
My house has just gone on the market but I haven't seen anything that I would want to live in. Polesalot's comments are always positive and supportive.
Good luck with your journey..I will be reading with keen interest.

julie2710

Hello Happydays70. Thank you for reading my diary. It does sound as though we are in very similar situations. My mortgage was £237k when my ex first left and I was 3 weeks off giving birth to DS2!

I did put my house on the market about two years ago. I think I thought it would be the easy solution but in reality I don't think it would have. Needless to say it didn't sell and I didn't see anything that would fit budget wise to make us better off and still be reasonably comfortable. So, the boards came down and we are still here. I think we will be here for good now, well that's the hope but at least the equity always gives a plan b option if we get desperate.

I hadn't seen your threads but have read through them now. Do think about all the other costs involved with moving and if you're happy where you are is it really worth it. We can always do with a few extra pounds in our pockets but every time I get stressed about how tight money is sometimes I try and think about all the things I have rather than the things I don't.

Good luck with your journey and whatever decision you decide on. I'll be watching with interest how you get on now.

Tommelise

CFC wrote: »

Fine...it's your life and your choice
Sorry if my posts annoyed you, but peeps normally post in the Debt Free Wannabe because they want to sort out their finances!
Don't worry, I'll stay out of your 'everything's great' thread now then

Hi Julie - delurking to comment on this ^^

You seem to have to defend your choice of staying in the house on a regular basis. It might be an idea to update you SOA , since I know you have made som savings -especially for you boys school. Put a link into the first post - "Updatet SOA in
post" - put in this SOA that fees for school and selling your house/adding to the mortgage is not an option you will consider at the moment, but any other suggestions are welcome.

You get these comments each time somebody cant be botheret to read though your thread, and only skimread the first post and maybe first pages.....

An suggestion. Your house seem to be in a very good location, why not consider an House Exchange for part of the summer. Then you will get to go to another country, and only pay for the flights ...

I for one think you are doing more than great for your boys, and giving them great sence of what really matters in the process.

xxx

IainHL

LannieDuck wrote: »

Loads of people are still paying off their mortgage with young kids. 14 years is how long it will take the mortgage to go... but how long will it take the rest of the debts to go?

That's the figure that will put you on an even footing with everyone else. I'll bet that's a lot less than 14 years...

Well, going from the numbers in Julie's signature, and presuming a linear progression (that is ignoring snowball effects):

LBM Dec12 Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/36,068 Oct13

So far the debts have come down £3,510 in 10 months, so another 102 months (8½ years) to go.

LannieDuck

IainHL wrote: »

Well, going from the numbers in Julie's signature, and presuming a linear progression (that is ignoring snowball effects):

So far the debts have come down £3,510 in 10 months, so another 102 months (8½ years) to go.

8 1/2 years is much better than 14 years The snowballing should bring it down quite a bit more.