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Time to stop pretending it will be ok!

julie2710
Posts: 1,381 Forumite
Ok so here I am. I tried to do this a couple of years ago but life took over and I just sort of coasted along going from one month to the next. Robbing Peter to pay Paul. Convinced that it would all work out in the end.
The truth is I am now sick of surviving. About worrying every month whether I will be able to make it to the end of the month. I make in roads then something crops up which takes me back again.
So here goes. 2013 is going to be the year where I sort out my finances (or at least make a damn good start on them).
Time to realise there will be no quick fix. I spent 4 years trying to tread water since my ex left. I try and tell myself it's alright because in that time I've managed to knock over £50k off my mortgage but In truth I've run up nearly £15K in debts.
I've done an soa which I will post in a bit. Stupidly did it on my work iPad and now can't get it to copy across.
I'll explain some of the anomalies when I post it!
Thanks to anyone who's looking in and anyone who can give some suggestions.
Here's to a positive start to 2013. This is the first step at least!
The truth is I am now sick of surviving. About worrying every month whether I will be able to make it to the end of the month. I make in roads then something crops up which takes me back again.
So here goes. 2013 is going to be the year where I sort out my finances (or at least make a damn good start on them).
Time to realise there will be no quick fix. I spent 4 years trying to tread water since my ex left. I try and tell myself it's alright because in that time I've managed to knock over £50k off my mortgage but In truth I've run up nearly £15K in debts.
I've done an soa which I will post in a bit. Stupidly did it on my work iPad and now can't get it to copy across.
I'll explain some of the anomalies when I post it!
Thanks to anyone who's looking in and anyone who can give some suggestions.
Here's to a positive start to 2013. This is the first step at least!
MBNA [STRIKE]£2,029[/STRIKE] £1,145 Virgin [STRIKE]£8,712[/STRIKE] £7,957 Sainsbury [STRIKE]£6,870[/STRIKE] £5,575 M&S [STRIKE]£10,016[/STRIKE] £9,690 Barclaycard [STRIKE]£11,951[/STRIKE] £11,628 CTC [STRIKE]£7,629[/STRIKE] £6,789 Mortgage £[STRIKE]182,828[/STRIKE] £171,670
LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13
Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.55
LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13
Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.55
0
Comments
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Welcome to DFW the hardest bit is over !0
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Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 2
Number of cars owned....................
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2643
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 146.03
Other income............................ 21.67
Total monthly income.................... 2810.70
Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 1050
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 82.50
Electricity............................. 44
Gas..................................... 45
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 29.59
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 36
TV Licence.............................. 12.44
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 150
Clothing................................ 20
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 173.33
Other child related expenses............ 1000
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 12
Contents insurance...................... 24
Life assurance ......................... 45.61
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
Haircuts................................ 10
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 2759.47
Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 350000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 350000
Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 182828...(1050).....0
Total secured & HP debts...... 182828....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
MBNA Card......................2029......65........26.4
Virgin Card....................8712......275.......26.4
Sainsburys Card................6870......155.......2.92
Child Tax Credit...............7629......70........0
M&S Money......................10016.....252.......18.9
Barclaycard....................9427......190.......15.7
Total unsecured debts..........44683.....1007......-
Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,810.7
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,759.47
Available for debt repayments........... 51.23
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,007
Amount short for making debt repayments. -955.77
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 350,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -182,828
Total Unsecured debt.................... -44,683
Net Assets.............................. 122,489
Right so there it is! Ive done nothing so far to cut anything so will have to look at some of the stuff on here I can cut.
A few things of note. The 21.67 income is maintenance from my generous ex who should be paying £50 per week for his two children but made himself unemployed 2 years ago. I didn't do anything about getting anything off him but he took way too much advantage of my good nature over the last year so I have now applied for my £5 per week!
The Child Tax Credit owing is an overpayment which they have kindly split over 10 years with no interest as it was their fault. I claimed when my ex left me as I went back to full time work when my youngest was 18 weeks old and my ex had been gone 21 weeks and wasnt paying me anything. They paid me until I notified them that my oldest had hit 5 years of age. They thanked me then said sorry but you need to pay us back everything we paid you as we forgot to add in the company car value you gave us each year!! Morons but what can I do?
That leads nicely on to the lack of car expenses. I have a company car so I dont have any car expenses that arent reclaimable.
In addition to my income I do get bonus, although this isn't a given as its based on performance and is very variable, plus the tax man takes a huge chunk of it! However, for the last year it has been about £1000 per month although not always paid monthly so more borrowing to cover the gap.
I now have the opportunity also to do some extra work which should, fingers crossed, bring me in a minimum of £400 per month but will cost me £80 in childcare per month minimum.
I'll shut up for now and hopefully some lovely helpful people can give me some thoughts? (and breathe!)
Thank youMBNA [STRIKE]£2,029[/STRIKE] £1,145 Virgin [STRIKE]£8,712[/STRIKE] £7,957 Sainsbury [STRIKE]£6,870[/STRIKE] £5,575 M&S [STRIKE]£10,016[/STRIKE] £9,690 Barclaycard [STRIKE]£11,951[/STRIKE] £11,628 CTC [STRIKE]£7,629[/STRIKE] £6,789 Mortgage £[STRIKE]182,828[/STRIKE] £171,670
LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13
Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.550 -
What are the other childcare expenses £1000 ?0
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Daytime Childcare for my two sons. The £173 only covers one day a week with a childminder for the youngest. The other 4 days for the youngest at a kindergarten (400 per month) and then full time at a private school for the eldest (600 per month).
This will seem extravagant but when I did the maths, there is no pre or after school care in my area. I need to leave for work at 7:45 and often dont get back until 5:45 so would need a minimum of 4 and a half hours childcare a day plus drop off costs. This would be in excess of £40 per day £200 per week plus I would then need to add in school meals. I have no idea how much they are? It actually worked out cheaper to send him to private school!!! In addition the youngest ones kindergarten is at the same school so he gets 10% discount on fees, hence only 400 per month and free after school care until the 5:30! Irony of how this country is trying to get single parents back to work!
Sorry for the long winded answer! Never said my life was uncomplicatedMBNA [STRIKE]£2,029[/STRIKE] £1,145 Virgin [STRIKE]£8,712[/STRIKE] £7,957 Sainsbury [STRIKE]£6,870[/STRIKE] £5,575 M&S [STRIKE]£10,016[/STRIKE] £9,690 Barclaycard [STRIKE]£11,951[/STRIKE] £11,628 CTC [STRIKE]£7,629[/STRIKE] £6,789 Mortgage £[STRIKE]182,828[/STRIKE] £171,670
LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13
Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.550 -
Dont really have anything to offer but looks depressingly like mine, very little left to cut back on and ends really not meeting (though not in debt yet but savings disappearing) - guess this is what being the squeezed middle is.
Can empathise with childcare issues - can only use one locally due to others useless opening hrs - (leave for work at 6am and get back at 6pm unless its a long shift when back around 10pm) and then have an aupair for the wraparound - cheaper than the other options.0 -
Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 2
Number of cars owned....................
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2643
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 146.03
Other income............................ 21.67
Total monthly income.................... 2810.70
Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 1050
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 82.50 - this seems low for a property worth £350k?
Electricity............................. 44
Gas..................................... 45
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 29.59
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 36
TV Licence.............................. 12.44
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 150
Clothing................................ 20
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 173.33
Other child related expenses............ 1000
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0 - need something in here
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 12
Contents insurance...................... 24
Life assurance ......................... 45.61
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
Haircuts................................ 10
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0 - need a figure in here
Total monthly expenses.................. 2759.47
Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 350000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 350000
Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 182828...(1050).....0
Total secured & HP debts...... 182828....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
MBNA Card......................2029......65........26.4
Virgin Card....................8712......275.......26.4
Sainsburys Card................6870......155.......2.92
Child Tax Credit...............7629......70........0
M&S Money......................10016.....252.......18.9
Barclaycard....................9427......190.......15.7
Total unsecured debts..........44683.....1007......-
Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,810.7
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,759.47
Available for debt repayments........... 51.23
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,007
Amount short for making debt repayments. -955.77
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 350,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -182,828
Total Unsecured debt.................... -44,683
Net Assets.............................. 122,489
Well done for posting. I think it always helps to get the figures down so at least you can tell how dire the situations is - forewarned is forearmed and all that. They aren't just a fuggy mess in your head then.
I have made a few comments which won't really save you any money but the thing that does stick out to me is that you have a considerable amount of equity in your house. Are you able to move somewhere cheaper and pay off your debts that way?It's not how far you fall - it's how high you bounce back.... :jHappiness is not a destination - it's a journey0 -
Thanks Polesalot. The council tax is very low as the property I have was originally only £135k 11 years ago so was banded as a C. When I was with my ex we basically completely renovated the property and extended it making what was a 2 bedroom into a 3 bedroom home, adding on a huge kitchen and dining room. I got it valued last year and did think about selling but it really wouldn't leave me much room to buy anything else as I live in a pricey part of West Sussex. I would have to decrease my mortgage in order to port my interest rate (0.34 above base for life!) otherwise I would end up with a new mortgage at a higher rate and no lower repayments. It would have the added benefit of getting my ex off the mortgage, although I'm less worried about that than I was. Long story! I basically went to court twice last year to fight creditors he hasn't been paying from putting a charge against my property. Luckily all the finances were sorted through the court in the divorce settlement and it states that he has no legal or equitable claim on the property so the judge threw both cases out! It's no wonder I've not had time to get my own house in order so to speak! Oh I also had to force a sale of a flat he had that was rented out. He hadn't taken me off the mortgage and he had debts secured against it which I had no idea of until I got a repossession notice letter! I managed to stop the repossession by getting a quick sale but it cost me just short of £2k which I'd been putting aside to clear some of my debt! Then my boiler broke down! Still I managed to come out of the other side so I'm sure ill get there again!
I tend not to get ill (that should jinx it) so don't have prescription charges for me. Work dental insurance covers me and obviously my boys get everything free.
I know I should put something for emergencies but with ends not meeting I was just keeping my fingers crossed for now, not ideal I know.
I'm going to start tonight by making an effort to get some stuff on eBay. I also have £25 which my mum and dad gave me for Christmas and I'm thinking I will pay that off a card.
Any suggestions as to which ones should go first? Part of me thinks the smaller ones so it looks like I'm making progress quicker, another part of me says one of the bigger ones?
I'm off to parents for dinner today, so that's the cost of a meal saved! I've started the day by having a major clean of the bathroom, descaled the shower too so everything is nice and shiny. Funny how little things make you feel so much better.MBNA [STRIKE]£2,029[/STRIKE] £1,145 Virgin [STRIKE]£8,712[/STRIKE] £7,957 Sainsbury [STRIKE]£6,870[/STRIKE] £5,575 M&S [STRIKE]£10,016[/STRIKE] £9,690 Barclaycard [STRIKE]£11,951[/STRIKE] £11,628 CTC [STRIKE]£7,629[/STRIKE] £6,789 Mortgage £[STRIKE]182,828[/STRIKE] £171,670
LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13
Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.550 -
I presume the Council Tax also has the 25% single adult discount.
On the CTC overpayment, my understanding is:If the benefits office decides that the overpayment was not caused by your misrepresentation or failure to disclose, the overpayment will not be recoverable and you cannot be made to repay it.
No civil penalty can be imposed if the overpayment is not recoverable.
However, even if an overpayment is not recoverable the benefits office may ask in their letter whether you want to pay it back anyway. If this happens, seek advice from a benefits adviser. You can use our Find an Adviser tool to find a local one.
This is from the turn2us site and their adviser tool is here:
http://advicefinder.turn2us.org.uk/0 -
Yes I have my 25% discount on my council tax.
I had no idea that you could possibly not repay the CTC if it was their fault. They just said I needed to repay it and after reading so many scary stories about courts and possible jail I was terrified and agreed! Maybe I need to go back to them, although do you think that now I've started paying them they will make me continue? Wish I'd never bothered claiming it at all now! Probably could have managed without it and now I've just ended up with more debt through no fault of my own!MBNA [STRIKE]£2,029[/STRIKE] £1,145 Virgin [STRIKE]£8,712[/STRIKE] £7,957 Sainsbury [STRIKE]£6,870[/STRIKE] £5,575 M&S [STRIKE]£10,016[/STRIKE] £9,690 Barclaycard [STRIKE]£11,951[/STRIKE] £11,628 CTC [STRIKE]£7,629[/STRIKE] £6,789 Mortgage £[STRIKE]182,828[/STRIKE] £171,670
LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13
Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.550 -
I think you need to write to your credit card companies, attach your SOA showing you cannot service these debts and offer token payments to them all. There are template letters on here for that. Good luck xxxx
Skint but happy with my lovely family
Hypnotherapy rocks :j0
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