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Time to stop pretending it will be ok!

13468941

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  • julie2710
    julie2710 Posts: 1,381 Forumite
    Well that was a long day! Left home at 6am and got home at 7pm :(. Managed to save on childminding costs by twisting my parents arm and getting them to have the boys for half the day. They were going out for the other half day but at least £40 saved. I think I've probably used up all my credits with them now. To be honest I think they only agreed to this because they want a lift to a family party at the weekend! I always give them let's anyway but maybe they felt they should help out :o

    Well the gas engineer phoned and the boiler is going to cost me £131.10 to put right! :eek: I suppose its probably not that bad and it has to be done. I'm working Friday night when the boys go to their dads so hopefully will earn a decent amount.

    18 of my CDs on eBay sold so I will be posting off the 12 that have been paid for tomorrow. Just shy of £40 less what the postage costs me so will need to sort that and am going to pay that off my card too :D
    MBNA [STRIKE]£2,029[/STRIKE] £1,145 Virgin [STRIKE]£8,712[/STRIKE] £7,957 Sainsbury [STRIKE]£6,870[/STRIKE] £5,575 M&S [STRIKE]£10,016[/STRIKE] £9,690 Barclaycard [STRIKE]£11,951[/STRIKE] £11,628 CTC [STRIKE]£7,629[/STRIKE] £6,789 Mortgage £[STRIKE]182,828[/STRIKE] £171,670
    LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
    Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
    Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13

    Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.55
  • julie2710
    julie2710 Posts: 1,381 Forumite
    It's been a busy week so far work wise and home wise. Boiler is now fixed and I'm £131.10 lighter than I was this time yesterday :( still if snow is on its way then it will be money well spent.

    I'm feeling really flat today! Not sure what's caused it although my eldest has been horrible to me recently. Well if I'm honest for the last eight weeks. It's all to do with the fact that his dad, who the boys usually stay with once a fortnight for the weekend decided to go away for 8 weeks at the start of November. It's been hard for him I know and I've had sleepless nights where he's been waking up crying, asking me if I would leave him, saying he'd dreamt his brother had drowned etc. Then called in to pick him up from school a couple of times as he said he was feeling sick, he was fine as soon as he was with me! Well for the last four weeks I've had the, I hate you, you don't like me, you love DS2 more than me. Daddy is wonderful. Daddy will have loads of presents when we go to his tomorrow was the latest this morning. I just want to cry! :(

    Anyway enough of the self indulgence! Back to work!!:o
    MBNA [STRIKE]£2,029[/STRIKE] £1,145 Virgin [STRIKE]£8,712[/STRIKE] £7,957 Sainsbury [STRIKE]£6,870[/STRIKE] £5,575 M&S [STRIKE]£10,016[/STRIKE] £9,690 Barclaycard [STRIKE]£11,951[/STRIKE] £11,628 CTC [STRIKE]£7,629[/STRIKE] £6,789 Mortgage £[STRIKE]182,828[/STRIKE] £171,670
    LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
    Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
    Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13

    Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.55
  • LannieDuck
    LannieDuck Posts: 2,359 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Well done for deciding to get on top of it this year. It must be so frustrating making progress then having something new pop up that needs paying for. But like you say, if you hadn't made progress, you'd be in even more trouble.

    Keep going with the ebaying. I know it's slow, but I managed to make about £400 (over 3 months) just by getting rid of stuff I didn't want anymore.

    Good luck, keep going, and hopefully this time next year you'll be in a very different place :)
    Mortgage when started: £330,995

    “Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”
    Arthur C. Clarke
  • It's awful hearing about the affect your childrens dad's decisions are having on them, and in turn on you. I really feel for you.

    Chin up though, in the long run he'll know that you were the one who was there to look after him through everything.

    Good luck with everything.
  • julie2710
    julie2710 Posts: 1,381 Forumite
    Thank you for your kind words. DS1 and I had a little chat about hurting people's feelings with what we say after school. He seems a lot happier now too.

    I thought I would cheer myself up a bit too. I know it's only my regular payment but my mortgage payment went out today and I always phone my bank to get the new balance as such a big amount is cleared each month because I am lucky enough to be on such a great interest rate! Probably drive them nuts doing it but for me it's such a big thing, although I know I have the other debt to deal with, the fact that my mortgage was £236k just over four years ago makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something at least :o Anyway another £924 has come off the balance this month. Not long now until it's under £180k, next mortgage landmark for me! :D

    In the meantime I'll keep plugging away at getting the rest of the mess sorted out :(
    MBNA [STRIKE]£2,029[/STRIKE] £1,145 Virgin [STRIKE]£8,712[/STRIKE] £7,957 Sainsbury [STRIKE]£6,870[/STRIKE] £5,575 M&S [STRIKE]£10,016[/STRIKE] £9,690 Barclaycard [STRIKE]£11,951[/STRIKE] £11,628 CTC [STRIKE]£7,629[/STRIKE] £6,789 Mortgage £[STRIKE]182,828[/STRIKE] £171,670
    LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
    Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
    Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13

    Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.55
  • Hope the chat with DS eases the situation a little.

    Well done on the mortgage decreasing so rapidly :D
    I called my bank the other day to find out about mine and wish I hadnt!! Depressing isnt the word. Although I did request that they get an online thing sorted out!! hehehe

    x
  • julie2710
    julie2710 Posts: 1,381 Forumite
    I used to get monthly mortgage statements from my bank but hey have now reduced it to 6 monthly. I do all my banking online but can't see my mortgage accounts so every month I phone them to see what the balance is. Like I say it keeps me going thinking that at least something is moving in the right direction!

    I was very lucky in that we had re-mortgaged not long before my ex left and I had decided that the 0.34 % above base rate lifetime tracker on a repayment mortgage was the way to go! Thank goodness I did! Form whe he left in September 2008 the mortgage payment gradually decreased every month for a while until it hit its current level. So although my payments are high most of it is now actually paying off my mortgage! I did try for a repayment holiday for a few months a while back, thinking I could clear some debt with the money but they wouldn't even entertain it? I expect they are kicking themselves for letting me have such a low interest rate! Plus it's portable if I were to move in the future :o

    Good luck with yours Princess84 :D
    MBNA [STRIKE]£2,029[/STRIKE] £1,145 Virgin [STRIKE]£8,712[/STRIKE] £7,957 Sainsbury [STRIKE]£6,870[/STRIKE] £5,575 M&S [STRIKE]£10,016[/STRIKE] £9,690 Barclaycard [STRIKE]£11,951[/STRIKE] £11,628 CTC [STRIKE]£7,629[/STRIKE] £6,789 Mortgage £[STRIKE]182,828[/STRIKE] £171,670
    LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
    Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
    Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13

    Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.55
  • Is there any chance you can increase the term of the mortgage (or ideally make it interest only)? It seems that at the moment you have 16 years left on it. If you extended the term to 25 years your repayment would go down to £680. If you made it interest only it would go down to £128. The maximum term will probably depend on how long you have till retirement age.
  • julie2710
    julie2710 Posts: 1,381 Forumite
    Thanks Martin. I have asked about going interest only and the bank said that wouldn't be an option! I haven't tried the route of asking for the term to be extended. I'm not sure if this is an option however there is an anomaly that may prevent it or make it an undesirable option. I'll try and keep it short! :o

    Basically my ex husband is still named on my mortgage at the moment. I tried to get my bank, on an annual basis, to put the mortgage into my sole name, but each time it's a response of computer says no :( They acknowledge that they can see I have paid it on my own now for over four years and that my income is all I have. I could move it to another lender but then would end up paying more because I wouldn't get such a great interest rate! Bit of a case of cutting off my nose to spite my face. There were some issues however, as my ex is worse with money than I have been and has had court cases involving debt he has racked up. Unlike me he doesn't bother about keeping on top of repayments! The knock on of this was that last year I was issued with a court order to apply a charge to my property for his debt. All of which he has accrued since our split! I took advice and fought it myself in court as I have a court order from our divorce proceedings stating that he has no legal or equitable rights to this property provided I took reasonable steps to get his name removed from the mortgage. The judge decided in my favour saying that it would be both legally and morally wrong to place a charge against my home. This kind of gave me a little bit of breathing space as I really was concerned about any implications of his irresponsibility. I fought off a second similar application in October by another company he owed money to. This time when I presented them directly with the evidence and copies of the previous court ruling the dropped the case before it went to court! I hope this all makes sense? Anyway because of that I'm not sure if firstly I could extend the term and secondly if it would be a good idea to do it in the long run anyway. The sooner I clear my debt and get the balance down on my mortgage, the sooner they will hopefully transfer it into my sole name:o

    On a possible plus note, I was listening to the tv in the background today and heard them talking about compensation for delayed flights. Back in 2010 I took my sons then 2 & 5 to Tenerife for a week! I also took my brother as it was the first time abroad with the boys and I thought he could help me get through the airport with them :o. He did his own thing once we were there, but boy was I glad I took him! The return flight was supposed to leave at 3:30pm and took off at about midnight! :eek: my youngest son threw up over me at about 9pm, my eldest spilt a cup of hot chocolate (thankfully now only luke warm) over him at 10pm! All we had was food vouchers! So I'm going to try and see if I can get some compensation? Knowing my luck it won't happen but it's got to be worth a try. :)

    Right best get a wriggle on. Youngest has a birthday party this afternoon, then we are all off to my cousins party tonight!
    MBNA [STRIKE]£2,029[/STRIKE] £1,145 Virgin [STRIKE]£8,712[/STRIKE] £7,957 Sainsbury [STRIKE]£6,870[/STRIKE] £5,575 M&S [STRIKE]£10,016[/STRIKE] £9,690 Barclaycard [STRIKE]£11,951[/STRIKE] £11,628 CTC [STRIKE]£7,629[/STRIKE] £6,789 Mortgage £[STRIKE]182,828[/STRIKE] £171,670
    LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
    Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
    Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13

    Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.55
  • new to this but what is a SOA? Sorry if this is explained elsewhere.
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