Time to stop pretending it will be ok!

julie2710

So here I am still hanging in here! It's was a crazy week last week and I'm just about recovering. The voice is back, just a bit of a cough left and the vertigo is starting to settle. I do feel like I've not been on top of things again and so the time has come to write one of those infamous lists in order to focus on what I need to get done.

I have just over a week at work left, thank goodness, so there's lots I need/want to get on top of before we finish. Two days next week we have a team meeting so they are out of the picture.

I also want to get on top of things at home. The boys break up from school on Friday 13th and I would love to be able to not have loads to do and for us to just be able to enjoy some quality time. So with that in mind here is my list of things to do this week.

Work Related
1. Complete all my meetings and paperwork for meetings and get sent in. Chase any missing invoices.
2. Complete my expenses.
3. Update my target list for next year.
4. Finish off 2013 business plan.
5. Set up new 2014 business plan.
6. Make sure all pre planned meetings for 2014 and the relevant paperwork are completed.
7. Book my last remaining day's holiday (I will lose it if I don't take it)

Home Related
1. Tax return
2. Sort out boys overnight for next Wednesday as I'm away with work again
3. Sort out DS1 to theatre group next Thursday as I won't be back in time
4. Pay in money to bank
5. Get Christmas tree and decorations up - need to get them out of the loft!
6. Write Christmas cards and send
7. Write present list
8. Write Christmas shopping food list
9. Chase parents from school re teacher collection
10. Chase parents from school re kids photos and note for card
11. Do card for teacher and assistant
12. Find some things to sell

I think that pretty much covers it. I did manage to fit in reconciling my bank account today, it's not great news and has just hi lighted that I really needed my bonus to get presents. Going to try and get some extra work or see if I have any jewellery to sell.

Right I'm feeling tired just looking at that lot so it's off to bed and get some sleep to build up the energy to tackle it all!

Verbatim

Go you Julie! That's quite a list!

LannieDuck

I think you used one of the boy's names in point 3 of your second list...

julie2710

Thanks LannieDuck. That will teach me to try and do so much late at night

julie2710

Ok so I've had a really productive day and have managed to get a good way though the list. I've also sorted out old paperwork etc but that means I have some shredding to add to my list of to do things now:o

So updates are:-

Work Related
1. Complete all my meetings and paperwork for meetings and get sent in. Chase any missing invoices. Done
2. Complete my expenses. Done
3. Update my target list for next year.
4. Finish off 2013 business plan.
5. Set up new 2014 business plan.
6. Make sure all pre planned meetings for 2014 and the relevant paperwork are completed.
7. Book my last remaining day's holiday (I will lose it if I don't take it). Done

Home Related
1. Tax return. Done
2. Sort out boys overnight for next Wednesday as I'm away with work again . Done
3. Sort out DS1 to theatre group next Thursday as I won't be back in time . Done
4. Pay in money to bank
5. Get Christmas tree and decorations up - need to get them out of the loft!
6. Write Christmas cards and send
7. Write present list
8. Write Christmas shopping food list
9. Chase parents from school re teacher collection
10. Chase parents from school re kids photos and note for card
11. Do card for teacher and assistant
12. Find some things to sell
13. Shred paperwork

Now I've looked at that it doesn't look as though I've done that much . Although I suppose in fairness I did have all my regular work and two boys to look after too!

Stupid tax return is annoying. I always put it off every year and it doesn't actually take that long to do. Unfortunately it's saying that I owe them £446 Will need to look at how I'm going to pay that, would be great if I can do it through my tax code. I recently cancelled my private health insurance which is promoted by my employer as a perk but when I actually sat down and looked at it it was costing me about £700 a year in tax and it also had £100 excess on any claim. I also know a few people who have had claims and they always go through the BUPA approved surgeons but then they still end up with £400-500 bills, so I wouldn't be able to afford to use it even if I wanted to!

I might make myself a drink and start on my Christmas list.

It really helps putting the list on here. Sorry for anyone bored to tears by it but it does keep me on track.

IainHL

julie2710 wrote: »

Stupid tax return is annoying. I always put it off every year and it doesn't actually take that long to do. Unfortunately it's saying that I owe them £446 Will need to look at how I'm going to pay that, would be great if I can do it through my tax code.

I know what you mean about the tax return it gets put off as it seems as if it is going to be a much bigger task than it actually turns out to be!

As for paying the underpayment, presuming you are doing a Self Assessment return online, there is a box you can tick on one of the last few pages along the lines of "collect any underpayment of tax by an adjustment to my tax code next year". It has always worked for me!

Also, since you have cancelled the private health insurance the benefit of the tax saved on that should more than offset the ~£37 per month you will be paying to clear your underpaid tax from April next year.

And from a few pages back I wasn't projecting how long it would take you to pay off your unsecured debts to depress you, and apologies if it did that. I was just trying to show that it was a going to be a lot sooner than your mortgage free date.

julie2710

Thanks IainHL. I really must start doing them as soon as I get my P60 & P11D instead of leaving it to the last minute! I did click the box to say I wanted to pay it through my tax code but it still said at the end that I have until the 31 January 2014. It said I would get a letter so I suppose I will just have to wait until that arrives and phone them and beg and plead!:o I did think that at least I will still be better off each month once I offset the tax saved on the supposed healthcare benefit against the under payment! Always looking for the silver lining!

No need to apologise about pointing out previously when my debt would be cleared. It didn't upset me at all, in fact I saw that as a positive. I haven't even bothered working out a debt free date yet as I know it is several years off so I thought I'd wait until it got a bit closer before I did it. Who knows before then I might even be in a position to do some switches to 0% and pay it off even faster I knew this was going to be a long haul and with two young boys I'm not really prepared to cut everything back to the absolute bone as I still want us to have a bit of a life but we can make compromises, like only going to the cinema on a Saturday morning when it's £3 for all of us instead of when a film first comes out and it's nearly £18

Better see if I can cross a few more things off that to do list before I update it!

ShanShan_2

Hi Julie - I just read your whole thread. My parents are divorced and my father is what can only be described as a Complete Idiot in every single aspect so I can definitely relate to what your kids are going through. Growing up I went through phases of blaming my mum for certain things but now that I am older I can see that she has always done the best that she could for me. My advice would be to not push contact with their father, if they want to see him then let them but sooner or later they will be grown up enough to be able to make their own judgements and decisions about him.

You sound like a fantastic mum and you are doing the best that you can and that's all you can do.

julie2710

Thank you ShanShan. The one thing I've always worried about is the boys throwing back that I wouldn't let them see their dad, that's why I've always gone the extra mile to make sure they see him. I still haven't heard from him since he threw his tantrum back in October. DS1 didn't even get a card or birthday present from him or any of his family, I expect they sent them to his house as usual! I think that's pretty appalling to be fair. I've made the decision that I'm not going to contact him to ask him to see the boys. If he can't be bothered that's his look out now! DS1 seems to have settled down a lot the last week. He is working well at school and being better behaved at home too. I'm under no illusion that he will probably question it all again at some point but for now its nice to have my happy little boy back.

Well I've been working hard to get my list completed for the week so updates are:-

Work Related
1. Complete all my meetings and paperwork for meetings and get sent in. Chase any missing invoices. Done
2. Complete my expenses. Done
3. Update my target list for next year. Done
4. Finish off 2013 business plan. Done
5. Set up new 2014 business plan. Can't do as system isn't working properly!
6. Make sure all pre planned meetings for 2014 and the relevant paperwork are completed. Done
7. Book my last remaining day's holiday (I will lose it if I don't take it). Done

Home Related
1. Tax return. Done
2. Sort out boys overnight for next Wednesday as I'm away with work again . Done
3. Sort out DS1 to theatre group next Thursday as I won't be back in time . Done
4. Pay in money to bank Done
5. Get Christmas tree and decorations up - need to get them out of the loft! Will be Friday's job
6. Write Christmas cards and send
7. Write present list Done - just need to start getting some now!
8. Write Christmas shopping food list Done and bought a couple of things that were on offer!
9. Chase parents from school re teacher collection Done
10. Chase parents from school re kids photos and note for card Done
11. Do card for teacher and assistant
12. Find some things to sell
13. Shred paperwork Done

On top of that I managed some extra work last night to earn a bit of extra cash for Christmas. I am thinking I may have to bite the bullet and put a small amount back on my credit card. It isn't something I want to do but I really have no way of buying any presents at all otherwise

DS1 has a birthday party this weekend, it's a joint one for two of his friends and another one next weekend, again a joint one so I need to get cards and presents for that! Could really do without it to be honest! A visit to the works is on the cards I think. The books they do 3 for £10 always seem to prove popular.

I'm really hoping we get our usual £50 M&S vouchers from work as well. That will sort the food out plus a gift or two!

ShanShan_2

Wow looks like you're been very productive today.

Re: the boys. I don't think they will throw it back on you so long as you make them aware of what is going on i.e. "I haven't heard from Daddy" rather than "No not this weekend". Do they ever ask to use the phone to call him themselves? Not sure if they are old enough for that. I can relate to the birthday thing. My father would either "forget" my birthday or do something like say you can have ____ for your birthday but you have to do this, this and this (usually chores relating to his business that he didn't want to do himself such as paperwork etc), and then I would do the chores but then he would never give me the gift. Well didn't he throw a fit a couple of years ago when I decided to not call him for his birthday. Over 100 missed calls later and that's the last time I ever really had contact with him.

What I'm trying to say is, I had a rough time with my father but I am okay now and your boys will be okay about it too one day. Children are very resilient.