Time to stop pretending it will be ok!

julie2710

My boys are only 5 & 8. They never ask to phone their dad. To be fair I doubt the youngest one would. He's never really known his dad to be in his life and always says he doesn't like him. The older one has never asked to phone his dad. I'm always careful not to try and give a negative impression of their dad to them but I do explain when DS1 has asked when he's seeing his dad that I haven't heard from him at all. Although DS1 has clearly been upset that his dad hasn't bothered with him even in the past if DS1 had a football match or a party I would always ask him if he wanted to go to his dad's or go to whatever else he had on, his dad would never take him to anything, without fail he would always choose not to go to his dad.

I'm so glad things have worked out alright for you in the long run. At the end of the day I feel nothing but pity for their dad. He has missed out on so many experiences with his boys that he will never have the opportunity to get back. I sit and remember things like their faces when they went to their first pantomime, times on holiday, swimming in the sea and bodyboarding for the first time. It was me that taught them to ride without stabilisers, to mention but a few. All those memories will live with me for ever and I feel so lucky to have been able to share them with them.

julie2710

Oh dear! I've been so busy trying to get my list completed that I haven't updated my list . So here goes:-

Work Related
1. Complete all my meetings and paperwork for meetings and get sent in. Chase any missing invoices. Done
2. Complete my expenses. Done
3. Update my target list for next year. Done
4. Finish off 2013 business plan. Done
5. Set up new 2014 business plan. Can't do as system isn't working properly! It now appears that it isn't the system not working properly but that my manager has to set up the plan for me to populate! He still hasn't done it!
6. Make sure all pre planned meetings for 2014 and the relevant paperwork are completed. Done
7. Book my last remaining day's holiday (I will lose it if I don't take it). Done

Home Related
1. Tax return. Done
2. Sort out boys overnight for next Wednesday as I'm away with work again . Done
3. Sort out DS1 to theatre group next Thursday as I won't be back in time . Done
4. Pay in money to bank Done
5. Get Christmas tree and decorations up - need to get them out of the loft! Done
6. Write Christmas cards and sendMost are written just need to post
6b. Sat with the boys and got them to write all their Christmas cards too! Done
7. Write present list Done and started some shopping!
8. Write Christmas shopping food list Done and bought a couple of things that were on offer!
9. Chase parents from school re teacher collection Done
10. Chase parents from school re kids photos and note for card Done
11. Do card for teacher and assistant
12. Find some things to sell
13. Shred paperwork Done

In addition to that I have

Cleaned all the facias - not a job I was intending to do but I wanted to put some outside lights up and thought they would look better against clean facias!

Put outside lights up

Made an apple pie

Cut DS1s hair

I am at last putting my feet up. The housework is done, all the boys school stuff, including mud coated rugby kits are laundered and packed in the appropriate bags ready to go!

I have just five days left at work before a long Christmas break! Need to plan some things to do! I'm so looking forward to spending time off with the boys

Mortgage payment will go out this week so that's always something to look forward too as well. Should take the total debt under the next milestone

asparagus1968

wow, you are a superwoman! you have two very lucky boys there!
I am so lazy theses days, need to find my mojo.

as an aside, when you put up outside lights,how do you plug them in?? do you need to leave a wondow a bit open? DS would LOVE the outside of the house lit up .

julie2710

Thanks asparagus1968 I tend to go from superwoman status to "can barely find the energy to make a sandwich"! I do really find that the lists help me, especially if I put them on here too. It's a bit like getting to the end of the week and going for a weigh in at a slimming club and having to admit you've put 3lbs on because you've eaten a bag of marshmallows, a pizza, a curry and 3 family bars of chocolate in between the set meals you were supposed to stick to.

I have one outside socket that I've used. The others have wires coming in through the windows but they are so skinny that the windows shut perfectly with the wires through them. If they didn't I wouldn't have put them up! No way I'm having my heat leaking out of partially open windows!

I'm going to have to get some of the others out of the loft too I think, although definitely not all of them. I've only got the ones round the gutters at the minute but the front of the house is looking a bit bare as there are no gutters there. Might relent and get a couple of the character ones down. The boys are nagging me to get them out and now I've got the first lot out I quite like the idea of a few more!

asparagus1968

I am a list queen too. I now have a dry wipe pen stuck to the fridge with Velcro, I lose post=its, I never lose the fridge!

yes, was worrying about my (expensive) heating escaping. think I will get some lights to go around the ?portico, wouls look very pretty.

I have only two small presents to get now, have cards to write/post but have wrapping paper, brown paper and stamps so its just a case of getting on with it.

hope last 5 days at work goes smoothly and quickly

Verbatim

Well done on so much achieved, as ever!
Hope your manager gets the system you need set up soon.
V

runforlife

Hey Julie,

Just had to pop back and revisit some of your earlier posts from nearly a year ago. I hope you and your boys have a happy Christmas and that you are feeling in a much better place than you were this time last year. What a year for you! You have achieved so much and are very inspiring. I hope you are justifiably proud of yourself.

All the very best!

Verbatim

Well said rfl. Quite right. You have a lot to be proud of Julie.
:T

julie2710

Well it's been a busy week, just for a change. I've been trying to get on top of work stuff ready for finishing for the year. To be honest I'm starting to consider whether a job change might be in order next year. I think I'll seriously need to think about it in the new year. I had to go away overnight for work this week on Wednesday and the stress of trying to organise someone to have the boys over night and take them to and pick them up from school is just ridiculous! I managed to get my parents to have them overnight in the end but they wouldn't do the school run :eek:So then I'm left with getting my Auntie to pick them up from my mums and do the journey and then take them back! The ridiculous thing is my mum then apparently insisted on going with my auntie! Then I have to take so much stuff to my parents for the one night, it's like a week away! Bedding, clothes, cereal, snacks! I've been feeling really down about it as other people say how their parents couldn't wait to look after their children yet mine won't even buy a box of cereal to keep there

To top it all I had such a long day yesterday and the drive back took forever. I was so looking forward to seeing the boys and having a huge hug and the minute I walk in they start fighting, which in turn gives my mum something else to moan at me about. I think that and the stress of having no money for Christmas is just all getting a bit much. I've woken up this morning and just can't stop crying.

I think my friend is fed up with me because she keeps asking me to go out and I just can't afford the childminder let alone going out. How can I possibly justify spending £20 on a childminder when I don't even have any food in the fridge apart from a cucumber and a couple of pints of milk and I have no presents for the boys yet? She invited me out this Friday but I haven't heard back from her since I said I couldn't go

I'm trying to look for some positives so I've had a letter from the tax office with a new code on and they are going to take my underpayment out of my tax code. They've still included my health insurance though so I need to get on to them to take that off. I've also noticed that they are trying to collect an underpayment of £858.68! I have absolutely no idea what the hell they are doing so I'm anticipating a long phone call there!

I've also checked my mortgage balance and adjusted my signature accordingly! Another £927 off that and my total debt is now under the £215k barrier! That's something to smile about I'm sure

LannieDuck

This time of year is always stressful. But hopefully you're getting all the jobs and all the stress out of the way early, so as you get closer to xmas things will calm down...

Could you have a girls' night in at your house instead of going out somewhere?

Well done on the new mortgage payment