16 Year Old Girl with an abusive mother .UPDATE

pearl123

Try and talk to this girl when emotions are running less high. You may get more details. Also when people are upset they can sometimes over-elaborate a story just to really put a picture accross. Things might not be so extreme.

foxymum1977_2

coinxoperated wrote: »

There may be another side up all of this that you must talk with your son about. If they were going to break up or the relationship wasn't going well, she may be 'confiding' in you as a way to ensure she stays close and e doesn't go anywhere.

Anyone who reports being neglected or abused should get help, I would definitely advise talking with social services / childline. In the mean time, learn a bit more about her from your son.

She's 16, still a child, therefore may exaggerate. (Not saying this isn't serious, but kids can be pretty spiteful sometimes without understanding the implications)

i agree with all this especially the last paragraph, we have a 16yr old who probably tells her boyfriends parents things about us which are twisted round to make us look bad! she has a terrible homelife she says! all she has to do is occasionally tidy her room and be decent to her younger brothers!
i really hope this girl gets the help her and her family need, but just be carefull teenagers can be very very clever in making people feel sorry for them and in reality the truth couldnt be more different, if this girl really does have an awful life then please help her in any way you can x

NAR

Get her to talk to Childline; they have access to experts who can advise the girl on the best way forward. This may involve Social Services, but she will have taken the lead thus avoiding you taking the "blame", Mandi, for calling Social Services.

piglet25

My ex's son used to tell his mother that we never fed him at the weekends when he visited when in reality the little pig refused anything I had made and his stupid father got him take aways.
However, I think maybe have a chat with this young girl and find out what she wants you to do? She won't leave there because of the younger children as she will feel responsible for them and worry too much about them. If she is okay with you ringing social services then go ahead, or if you feel that the info you don't want to share warrents it then contact them. They won't tell them who rang and you will know you have done what you can. They might not be much help though, but they are better than nothing. I heard the NSPPC lady saying on the news last night that 'its people who stop abuse' - be one of them xx

mandi

A massive thank you to you all for the replies .

I contacted the NSPPC first thing this morning and asked for advice , although they were understanding they wanted me to report her mother to child services. ( which I refused to do )

I feel I need to empower her to leave rather than take over , thanks to someone who messaged me and also taking advice from someone who worked in Social services .

I have given her telephone numbers for child line, and several more for counselling and advice re housing etc .

She was so unhappy when she left ( long story ) but I hope that maybe she can make a step forward

Thank you all again.

Mandi

splishsplash

I'm not sure a 16 year old is experienced enough or confident enough to report an abusive parent. Isn't that why she confided in you? So that a grown up could take care of it? May I ask what reason you have for not reporting the mother to child services, given that you appear to believe the reports the daughter is making? Makes no sense to me.

mandi

splishsplash wrote: »

I'm not sure a 16 year old is experienced enough or confident enough to report an abusive parent. Isn't that why she confided in you? So that a grown up could take care of it? May I ask what reason you have for not reporting the mother to child services, given that you appear to believe the reports the daughter is making? Makes no sense to me.

Yes I agree with you to an extent . I'm not sure she is able splish but as I said in my last post

DanE2010

But what about the younger children in the household?

pipkin71

Sorry to hear of the predicament you have faced, mandi, and what this girl must be going through.

Hopefully, having spoken to you, the girl will feel more empowered to change the situation she is in. I hope it can be resolved.

Luckily, the girl has you in her corner as things may get worse before they get better, especially if outside agencies do become involved.

Person_one

DanE2010 wrote: »

But what about the younger children in the household?

My first thought too.

Who's going to 'empower' them?

OP, report.