Facing Other Halfs

southwester_2

Hi Shamu

It is very difficult for a OH to accept what has happened, maybe you should show him this thread. it may enlighten him a bit. I am only one month into this after teling wife and I am getting a few comments and quite moments where there is an atmosphere after talking about money, cant wait for it all to be clear

kevin_M

i never told my OH how much debt i was in she knew it was a little but did not think it was as bad as it realy was. £22,000ish. I kinda just could not tell her dont know why.

Its not because i thought i would loose her But i was ashamed of building up that much debt. Its not long ago i came clean But its once i had cleaned up a lot of my debt.

She still does not know it was ever that high. Male Pride for ya

rubywhatashmoo

I told my other half a couple of years ago - he was shocked by the amount of debt I was in, but we're both useless with money so he couldn't say much! Am working towards sorting everything out though so should be fine to tell - it's not as bad when you're already working on reducing your debts

shamu95

i am keeping my involement with this site a secret from my oh. he doesnt use the internet and i know he certainly dont agree with chatrooms.
i shall face this with the support from you guys and from some friends that have been great although do think they getting a bit fed up of the tired boring person i have become. i guess you dont really understand unless your in the situation yourself.
glad most of you are getting through it together as at the end of the day that is what a true pertnership should be.
and while im rambling id also like to moan that my ohs lack of support has caused some problems within the family as my parents and grandparents are disgusted with him and make no effort to hide it. is just more stress for me. however oh is right. my mess my problem and so the battle continues.

southwester_2

Disagree Shamu

It was caused by you, yes but part of a relationship is to sort out problems together, sounds like he should be giving you more support.

Sorry dont know your personal situation but just from the outside.

Take care

shamu95

thanks ss. i will get there and i will see what he makes of it all then.
i cant change the way he is so i shall carry on regardless and i will sort it for myself by myself.
i am pleased you are now in a joint effort.

southwester_2

No worries Shamu, you sound strong enough to hold it all together.

Take care
x

shamu95

Just an update on my situation. My oh has had a small change of heart and 2grand is going on his 0% card today. I nearly died of shock!!!!!! am pretty certain that our bos(we work at same place) has had a word. They are very good mates and ive always told the boss to not get involved but he has (i think) and am totally grateful.
However with me oh nothing is ever simple and i now owe him a takeaway for his generosity and i must pay at least £50 a month off the card instead of just the minimum payment. Obv i would rather pay the extra off a bill that costs but at least its a start and my overall debt will at last be reducing.
This will mean that i can cancel 3 credit cards this next month.
Anyone know how long i need to wait for my credit rating to be good enough for another 0% card as in effect i will have removed £10,000 off my file this year although am still paying £9000 of it.

southwester_2

Good news Shamu

Maybe he is reading this board

shamu95

Definately not. He wont touch the internet!

next step is to try and get him to put secured loan into mortgage which would save me £250 a month.
I can but dream!!!

Hope things are going ok with you and your oh and hope that the little arguments stop soon.