Sad sad sad.

happy_witch

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

It isn't a pleasant thing to think - but that means she'll be the one to be scared of him now.


You don't have to be scared anymore.

You don't know how true those words are. However for several months it will be amazing for her and a roller coaster of happiness and gloriousness. Very very bitter pill to swallow!! Thank you xx

Maureen43

What an absolutely horrible thing to find out at Christmas.

I had a similar shock a few months back.

I know you can't see it at the moment (I couldn't!) but you will get to a point where you realise you are the lucky one, not her. You will realise that you don't care who he is with.

However, I know you are not there now. Now you feel, I am guessing, at best completely numb and at worst totally lost and awful. Gather those round you who are there for you and let them look after you! You will come to see who your good friends and family.

And vent here...we have been there and will always listen.

The offer of a meet up after Christmas is still there if you want it..

yilia

[Big Hug], you need to know what's deeply in your heart, and cheer up to go on for your own life.
listen to some delighted music and relax yourself with some travel, do not struggle yourself in deeply sad.
Your life can be beautiful and wonderful.

dorisday

My heart goes out to you have been there a few times myself and when I think of what happened each time I feel very sad for how i felt then BUT not for how I feel now. It does pass the trick is to think only of the next hour and then the hour after that etc dont think of weeks months and years ahead thats when the desparation sets in and it hurts.
Even break it down to 5 mins if an hour is too long you will get through it this way and do allow yourself to grieve. It is like a death but just not of a human xxxxx

happy_witch

dorisday wrote: »

My heart goes out to you have been there a few times myself and when I think of what happened each time I feel very sad for how i felt then BUT not for how I feel now. It does pass the trick is to think only of the next hour and then the hour after that etc dont think of weeks months and years ahead thats when the desparation sets in and it hurts.
Even break it down to 5 mins if an hour is too long you will get through it this way and do allow yourself to grieve. It is like a death but just not of a human xxxxx

Thank you very much. So so hard! Massive ups and massive downs. I try and put it into perspective. I have lovely healthy kids I'm healthy but this pain and emptiness in my heart does not go away. Thank you for your kind words. I hope I can update one day to say omg that feeling was sooo yesterday and hopefully I can support someone. Thank you xx

happy_witch

Just booked a holiday! Thank u to everyone supporting my post. I still feel awful but I know he has moved on and got to grips with my friend who was waiting in the wings for him. Nice.

Lilith1980

Agree with what others have said here.

When I moved out after my husband and I decided to divorce, I knew it was the best thing. He had cheated on me and we hadn't been getting on for a long time really.

Although I was relieved, when I got into my new house it was like I crumbled into many pieces...and it took some months for those pieces to come back together. I drank a lot, and would go to bed at 7pm a lot of nights just to sleep and not 'be awake'.

No matter how bad it was in the marriage, it is a big adjustment to break up from a relationship/marriage. Even though you were individuals, I guess in a marriage you get used to being a 'package'. Now you have to get used to life being an individual again...and that is scary when you've been part of a couple.

I can't offer any words of wisdom, but be kind to yourself, maybe consider counselling - I went and it was so helpful to talk through my feelings. Find out things YOU like to do and start to create a new life for yourself, but take your time and don't expect too much of yourself too soon xx

happy_witch

Lilith1980 wrote: »

Agree with what others have said here.

When I moved out after my husband and I decided to divorce, I knew it was the best thing. He had cheated on me and we hadn't been getting on for a long time really.

Although I was relieved, when I got into my new house it was like I crumbled into many pieces...and it took some months for those pieces to come back together. I drank a lot, and would go to bed at 7pm a lot of nights just to sleep and not 'be awake'.

No matter how bad it was in the marriage, it is a big adjustment to break up from a relationship/marriage. Even though you were individuals, I guess in a marriage you get used to being a 'package'. Now you have to get used to life being an individual again...and that is scary when you've been part of a couple.

I can't offer any words of wisdom, but be kind to yourself, maybe consider counselling - I went and it was so helpful to talk through my feelings. Find out things YOU like to do and start to create a new life for yourself, but take your time and don't expect too much of yourself too soon xx

Thank you very much for your kind reply. A couple of weeks ago I couldn't have booked a library ticket much less a ticket for a holiday - might all fall apart again tomorrow, but maybe just maybe somethings are getting better. I am having counselling in Janruary - it is a huge change from being a couple/having a home even though it was absolutely miserable and we neither cared how each other felt. It is hurtful that he has moved on so quickly - but I guess she is a short term fix (maybe not) but he hasn't had to do any work to get into her bed as she was waiting in the wings. Thank you very much for your reply and I do re-read these! xx

Maureen43

Lilith1980 wrote: »

and would go to bed at 7pm a lot of nights just to sleep and not 'be awake'.

Yep .....done that too many a night...

whichwhydoIturn

Happy witch I wish you and everyone else on this thread a fantastic 2013
To anyone who has ever woken in the night and cried themselves back to sleep
To those who've blamed themselves and moved heaven and earth to keep the peace
To those who have had the rug pulled from under them and all you believed in was a lie
This will be our year where yes it hurts but less and less and we will find our sunshine , our self respect & most importantly our hearts contentment cos we are strong and will not allow anyone to make us feel like we want to hide under the duvet for ever
Xxxxxx